Aspiring to Love What I Do with Dr. Julie Ducharme

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Why is it so hard for women to support one another, and whose fault is the glass ceiling?

Julie Ducharme discusses today how she overcame the conventional ideal of what a woman ought to be. She explains her motivation for starting many enterprises, the difficulties she faced, and how to use criticism from others to push herself forward. 

Highlights:

{02:00} What makes Julie a Titan

{09:40} overcoming cultural ideas of what a woman should be

{14:10} What drove Julie to start her business

{19:34} Hard challenges to overcome

{23:55} Women need to support other Woman

{37:30} Using other people’s negative comments to drive us forward 

{47:50} Advice for people stuck on the hamster wheel 

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Dr. Julie Ducarme Bio

As a change maker, Dr. Julie Ducharme has dedicated her career to empowering and supporting people in their endeavors and dreams. People from all over, including the corporate sector and those returning to the workforce, have taken the advice and guidance of Dr. Julie and learned how to use their strengths to maximize their work/life success. Her unique speaking style ignites the passion inside us all and makes that tiny spark into a blaze of empowerment.

Since earning her MBA and Doctorate degrees in business and organizational leadership, Dr. Julie has become a national best-selling author, recognized by INC magazine, hosts a podcast, numerous TV appearances with CBS, ABC, and Fox, a professional public speaker, and a serial entrepreneur. 

Her book Leading by my Ponytail: Why Can’t I Wear Pink and Be the President was named by INC Magazine, of the top 60 leadership books for women.

Dr. Julie is passionate about our nation’s veterans and her most recent venture is the start of a 501(c)3 Synergy Learning Institute. This nonprofit provides one-of-a-kind courses such as “Combat Boots to Heels” for veterans transitioning from their military careers to the civilian workforce. This program is offered free to all veterans. Portions of Dr. Julie’s speaking fees go directly to the program and the veterans.

Julie is a National best-selling author, Serial Entrepreneur, Worked with INC, Samsung, USD, SDSU, National Feed and Grain Association, and countless more, and Numerous TV appearances

Featured in INC Magazine, CBS, ABC, CW, FOX, and numerous academic journals, Podcast – Empowering Your Pink, and NCAA Women’s Volleyball National Title Holder.

Connect with Julie:

leadingbymyponytail@gmail.com

https://www.drjulieducharme.com

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Full Transcript

Hi, I’m here today, joined by Travis Johnson as my co-host. We have our special guests here today. Julie Ducharme has been a consultant, instructor, and serial entrepreneur for the last 17 years, helping colleges shape their programs.

Julie has also been a keynote speaker, author, business consultant, entrepreneur, instructor, and special consultant for Women in Power. I know that’s a lot, right? Julie is also the creator, founder, and CEO of Julie’s party people, JD Consulting, and Synergy Learning Institute. She currently has two e-course slippers, two stilettos, and combat boots to heels based on her bestselling book, Leading by My Ponytail. Why can’t I wear pink and beat the president? Welcome to the Titan Evolution podcast, Julie.

My God, that was a ton! Is it? Did I miss anything because I felt? I feel like I missed at least something.

Oh, you missed a ton of stuff like that.

I realized even putting anything in there like I have another company I made during COVID that I forgot to put in there.

Professional basketball player guru, founder of She Talks, and what that all means is she has no free time. She’s working and returning emails while having a conversation with us.

Yeah, I have multiple arms, so I do a lot of stuff. You know, I stay busy. Travis and I were talking about delegating more, which is an issue, but I’m working on it.

Awesome, he’s a control freak. I love it. So, tell us, what makes you a Titan, Julie?

You know, it’s interesting to hear that term because, you know, it’s probably been like six or seven years ago. If you asked me if I could be a Titan, I would like abs like it. Why would you ever classify me as that because I had this and that background? And when I went off to college, I was a real underdog, having grown up on a small farm. There was no club training, but I could jump high and head over the net for volleyball or touch RIM for basketball. So, coaches were interested in me, but I didn’t have formal training, so I went in as an understudy. When I got into college in my first year, the first class I took was English.

There in the English class and got my first paperback. I got a D on it, which was not for me. I went to the professor. Hey, you know what? I did improve later, and he was like, you know what? You’re not smart enough to be old.

“D” for discouragement.

Yeah, I mean, I’m living my dream with the scholarship. I’m like, “Oh my God, this is amazing.” I can’t believe this happened, and for like the next 10 or 12 years of my life, I fully believe that I went on to win three national titles in volleyball and went on to play professional volleyball and basketball overseas.

I started three businesses and became a college professor.

I was 23 and had my doctorate at 29, but I still felt that I wasn’t good enough or smart enough. That’s why I worked so hard to get all these things on there to prove to everyone that I was smart enough. And I would say that this was probably my time. In a moment, maybe ten or so years to the date of this professor’s telling me this; I ran into him at this popular place in town. And he remembers me, and he’s like, “Hey Julie, how are you doing?”

And in this kind of moment, you know? It was like a movie, right? You’re seeing all these flashes of all these things that happened. In my last ten years, right? And I’m like, I’ve always been smart enough, so I look at him and I’m like, Doctor Julie Ducharme. I’m doing just fine. And then I walked away. Second, it’s kind of, and my husband was just like, “That was amazing, and I can’t believe you did that.”

You know, not everyone gets a chance. It wasn’t me trying to get revenge or anything like that. It was just kind of this moment of like, “You know what? I am smart. I am good enough to do it, but it was fun to have this one person who could care less about me. Tell me this, and I will fully believe it, which kind of embodied me to go on this mission, and so that was my first step of what I think made me a Titan, fighting my past. The barriers were very much put up by myself and convincing myself that I was good at what I did. I was damn good at what I did, but I just didn’t know it, so from that point on, I went from not being the Julie who didn’t believe in herself to the Julie of, like, what else can I do? What else can I not do? And so that’s when I stepped into expanding my business.

I had been coaching baseball, you know, at a high level for the colleges, and I just decided it was a time just to take it up a notch. And I had a mentor who saved me, like, hey, take those businesses to the next level.

Why not? And no one had ever said that to me. Everyone told me that women don’t do business. And I should be an English teacher; multiple fingers went up on those comments.

It’ll all know how you did in English. So that’s probably not a good idea.

Yeah, yeah, you know, you know. But I was told I shouldn’t be an author. I mean a long list of things. So, from that point on, I was like, my age was the only thing stopping me from doing anything I wanted to. Do is meet. People can say stuff all the time, but I’m the person. I have to decide if I want to do it.

It was like moving forward like I had many body issues, and I would never have done any modeling. I ended up doing some modeling. I had insecurity issues where I would never get on TV or never get on a podcast that I had to get passes for.

I remember having an anxiety attack while driving to the radio station to do my radio show. You would never know, but I had an anxiety attack because I was so freaked out. But people never know what pushed me to write my book and be transparent about it because people think your life is perfect.

Nothing is ever wrong with you, Julie. You’re so happy all the time. You have to stop. I have so many issues.

You think that people think that like they see where you are now, but they never see everything it took and everything you had to overcome to get there. They automatically see that you’re perfect like there’s nothing wrong with you, but they don’t know.

Yeah, absolutely.

It’s funny because, you know. Like I said, body issues, so I mean for me to go a shoot, it’s very difficult to do this day, right? It doesn’t matter if people think you look beautiful. You look fantastic.

It’s fantastic. It takes all my energy to go on that stage and do that. It’s tough, and I laugh and giggle and be silly the whole time to make it easier for me. But yeah, I mean, I had times where I was crying in the shower after every game. You know, I was. I remember losing the national title my senior year and someone taking a picture of me on the pay phone. By the way, you know, crying on the phone. To my mom about it. And people are like, “Oh, we had so much success, you know, and I’m like,” It was a freaking high wall. To crawl like people threw rocks at me While I was climbing up it, to knock me off it, so you know, I think becoming a Titan two is like, it’s not about money.

I mean, it’s not about the success that the world defines as success. You know, I’m not a Kardashian.

I’d never want to be a Kardashian, but many people consider them successful. I think success is where you find your passion, and you’re doing your passion, and you love it. I mean, that’s kind of where I am in life. You know, I never would have found myself here?

I didn’t even want to be a teacher. My whole family was teachers. Somehow, I ended up being a college professor for quite a while, but it was like, “How?” Do I enter? I’m like Cameron Diaz and the bad teacher. You’d never want me to teach your kids K through 12. You know, I see that movie.

I’m just saying July, that would be a funny movie, yeah?

Is it with the basketball in their faces when they’re getting answers? I’m like “fully for them,” like “that’s good, let’s go for that.” So, I went along with my college students because I didn’t have BSM.

I was totally honest, and we had straight-up conversations. And before you know it, I had a waiting list again in my classes because I was just like, “Let’s have some real life.” There are people I’m not going to be asking about. Sow, if I think of a tie, that’s how I see it. It’s like you know you’re getting into what? You love to do it. You own it, you’re going after it, and you’re being real and transparent about it. And that’s tough to do. I wanted the perfect house, the perfect family, the perfect looking kids, the perfect life because that is what is sold, and that is so not. That’s so not true.

I want to be realistic, especially with one who would be like, “Listen.” There’s a pile of laundry sitting over there. They haven’t gotten to it in four days. There are dishes in the sink.

My floor probably hasn’t been back a week, and now you can hate me or, you know, think I’m horrible, and then people like I haven’t done my dishes in three ways.

So true; real life is truly messy. I mean, that’s what people don’t get, and when you are busy, those things kind of fall by the wayside, and you feel guilty the whole time while you’re accomplishing these things.

Well, culture dictates What a woman should look and do today. I mean, I don’t know if we can agree on that, but I mean, it’s a high standard that is very difficult to meet, you know, and

It’s almost impossible. Are you kidding me about what they want women to look like and what we should embody in their minds? Is it insane?

I got to ask because a guy looks at a man who’s an impossible standard. We never assume there’s any pressure to look like that. Why is that? Those guys don’t feel any pressure to rise to that level. But women feel pressured to conform to whatever they see on TV.

That’s a good question, and you know what I mean. I feel like we’re being bombarded and brainwashed with information, you know if you look at every magazine in line.

How do these celebrities look? Nothing about celebrities, friends, or celebrities. They get paid to look like that.

I think there’s such a push on the female side to look and feel like that. That’s where I think the pressure is. I think it starts young, like you know, with pictures and everything. I mean, I think there’s a lot of grooming done to be like that, you know. And the funny thing is that my mother if you’ve met my mother, was a lovely, very wonky person. She got to the 80s and said, “I’m done doing fashion.” I’m just going to sit here and the 80s. And she would wear a purple jumpsuit, and she would take, and she was like, “Mark, the bad version of Martha Stewart, right?” So, like this dude, that would be perfect, she’d be like I just melted this giant blob of plastic into a necklace, and it would be like this big, you know, and she’d be wearing it with her jumpsuit were like a bad version of a wrapper. Right, you know? And I mean, my mom didn’t care; she did.

I mean, we would always take care of it. She possessed Bob. I mean, this Bob went out a long time ago, and then it just kind of got bigger and bigger. It’s like a slight Afro. She was just this, and she would come on in. She didn’t care, and she would tell me things like, just wear what you want.

Honey, who cares? Swear what you want, and I’ll remember one summer. I bought this neon outfit.

Oh my God, I’ll have to see you guys the picture. It was like neon green shorts, a pink shirt, and a neon visor, and then I had the poo. And I thought I was so hot. Man, I thought I looked so amazing. I remember walking around camp like yeah. You know you know you like it.

Yep, yep, I mean

And you go back and look at that outfit, and you’re like, “Holy crap.” What were you wearing? What must you do? You had done what has been done, smoking something like when you were. I mean, I don’t remember that moment. I am showing this because I feel so free and good, right? I loved it, and that was the thing that my mom was always like, “Who cares?” But we do care, right? Do we care what anyone thinks? So, to have that freedom just to be, she’s not I’m guys. My mom was a hoot. She just did so much weirdness. Things she could never say, like a quesadilla, right? She pulled the talking bell and asked, “Can I have a quesadilla?” Do you know? I mean, he was the whitest of whites. You know, she’s the most beautiful woman you’ve ever met.

It was hilarious. But yeah, I think that happens early. I think grooming happens with how you should be, who you should be, and what you are. I think it’s becoming stronger and stronger in our generation. I feel for our kids. My daughter is 13, and my son is 10, and there is a lot of just crap. That’s going into them that they come home and ask me. and I’m like, “What did you hear about?”

Well, how old are your kids, Julie?

13 and 10.

But yeah, I think when we look at building Titans, you know, I’m not aspiring to be a billionaire. I mean, sure, it would be fun and wonderful and cost a lot of money. But, uh, you know, I’m just aspiring to love what I do and what I do have time to love in my family. We went to the Galapagos for two weeks with our family, an adventure our kids will always remember for the rest of their lives. Because there’s a lot of fun stuff that happened there, and it’s crazy. You know, those are the things that are. I think, most importantly, I have a lot of respect for anyone who’s just owning and rocking their industry. Who cares if they have, you know, a billion dollars? But if you have a billion and you want to give me a chance, some, I’ll take it. Yeah, just some.

Say Ditto. Oh, that is such a great story. Um, what did it take for you to want to do all of these companies, and you also have a show, which we spoke about earlier, and podcasts that you put on pause for a little bit?

But are you continuing that podcast as well?

Yep, Yep, Uhm, I mean, so she talks happened because we were, you know, being a former professional athlete, I did different speaking gigs, and one time someone was like, “You know what?

You’re just not famous enough to be on this stage. I was like, really, screw you, so then I was like, I’ll just make my stage. So, I made my stage, and those people who told me I couldn’t be on their stage asked. I went on stage and was like, “We’re full, sorry.”

See, it’s taken. I’m not into revenge, but I’ll tell you what I think. Yeah, yeah.

I’m not trying to be vengeful, but that’s part of the reason it started. And, of course, we added more of a mission to it. That is where all of the ticket sales take place. The girls go to support our veteran programs at the nonprofit college where I work, so we wanted it to have a mission, a vision, and a purpose. And we wanted to give a stage to any woman who wanted to tell their story. They don’t have to be famous; they can just come and tell their story, and we also train them, so they’ve never done public speaking. We take them through a whole program. We train them; then when they speak, we make a professional video for them so they can use that for, you know, future things that they do. So that’s how she talks.

It evolved about four and a half years ago. And then I mean the same thing with my company. So I have 4:00, so he says, as we mentioned. I started the fourth, wondering about coverage. Because I was like, I got a little free.

What else should it be but time?

I do! The dangers of free time with Julie.

Right? So, I started playing Taylor League sports. My maiden’s name is Taylor, and I’ve wanted to design an uh-glove. It’s all about gloves for a while. So, I started working on that. We had a few hiccups. One of my designers was in Portland, OR when all the craziness was happening. So, they burned it down. Then you know we had her arm broken. So, she couldn’t sell the glove. So, then we tried to

This was in conjunction with which event?

With a Taylor, well, I can’t remember which thing this was in Portland, OR, where they’re having riots.

Was this in response to George Floyd a couple of years ago?

It might have been. I don’t remember exactly which one. I mean, there were a couple, so we had some hiccups with that, but we finally have the glove going into production, and I found a US-based company here, so that was a start. When I started all this, they were little and kind of just decided to grow simultaneously. And then my grandma said to me, “You know, you can’t complain when you have work.” So, I was like, OK, grandma, well fine, I won’t complain, so I just let him keep on growing, and I’ve entertained selling one of them. But then COVID hits. So now we’ve got to readjust and probably run for a couple more years before we try and sell again. But I love being an entrepreneur.

I’ve kind of got the bugs, so I guess that’s why I have full companies. So, we have the four companies we have, she says. Do we have what the other thing we were talking about was? Gosh, there are so many.

I’m attempting to dazzle you. Please enter my name here.

Yeah, Travis, we weren’t you; weren’t you in one of her groups?

I was on her podcast, the Authentically You podcast, where we had tonnes of fun because Julie and I love giving each other a hard time or something like that. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, so that’s coming back. So, we were on the radio with that, and then COVID shut it all down.

We took that down, and then we brought it back, so I think it’s been going for about four years. And we interview people just doing authentic things. So, we’ve interviewed everyone, you know, Vernice Fly girl, the first African American female combat pilot. You know, Justine Siegal, personal coach, professional baseball; Jen Welter, the first woman who not only played a position other than kicker in the NFL but then also coached in the NFL; and so, and we’ve just had people from all over the world doing cool stuff, so, you know, Harlem Globetrotters. You know, all sorts of stuff like that. So, it’s a fun show.

I wanted to have something fun and unique and not political, and that was just highlighting people doing amazing things. And that’s how it evolves because everyone keeps trying to get a political show going, and I’m like, I am—not doing that. No, I am not interested.

That those topics are so complex as if there’s a reason they’re still in contention. We haven’t solved them yet. I’m not sure if they’ll ever be solved, not because they’re impossible to solve, but because they’re just Such a wide spectrum of opinions and what doesn’t matter in the different facets of these arguments. It is just so interesting to see how people are unwilling to hear any other point of view. They’ve had an idea and turned it into an opinion. If you onboarded it into their identity and now, they can’t hear any other options, like a toddler, they’re like, “Nope, it’s my toy.” I’m taking it. Someone tries to take it away. You scream for Mom, whatever their reasoning, and they’re unwilling just to have a conversation about something that could be different.

And being open to that is what causes us to grow, and I think the media just wants us to be mad at each other.

They want everybody to pick teams. That’s it. And I know we must be picked last.

Yeah, I put it right. I don’t know, but that’s like Travis.

You don’t! You don’t. Dominating sports and everything that your pretty but very young. You haven’t had real struggles like me and Kick Carol and Me.

Listen, I can’t make a good omelet. I’m still struggling a lot more, you know. This is I’m struggling with that. So, you know, I’m hoping that Gordon Ramsay will stop by.

So, he can yell at you and help you do it right.

Tell us some of your journey’s hard, challenging, and overcoming stories. Or you could just tell us how you eat yogurt, watch commercials, and make all the boys blush.

OK, let’s talk about the hard stuff, not the yogurt, which I’m glad you got right this time.

The last time you called it pudding, I was like, “Listen, I have standards.” It’s yogurt. When I was in academia, I moved up the ranks fast, so by the time I was 29, I was Dean of over 20. One of the youngest people at the university is at Business College. Some people loved me, and some hated me because they thought I slept my way to the top. which I didn’t go through the whole process the right way. And I had three women I was working with, and I was very excited. Wow, I thought, what if I had superpowers? And naively, that was not true. Naively, they wanted to get me out because I’d moved up the ranks so fast; they were concerned that I would take them out instead of being teammates. So, I had a boss who would call me daily and say, “Listen.” I think you suck at what you do. You’re horrible. And she would just tell me horrible things.

“I’m probably going to fire you today,” she said day after day, and I had a mental breakdown. I had just had my second child, so I had an 8-week checkup right before I started this job, and I went back for another checkup.

My hair is falling out. I’ve probably dropped about £25. I’m getting constant urinary tract infections because I’m never leaving my desk to go to the bathroom, and my doctor says you were healthy two months ago. You’re on the right track, but if you keep going like this, you’ll have a problem.

So, you need to get rid of whatever is happening in your life. So that was a big wake-up call for me because I had gotten this great position, and I had beat out all these people. I had broken all these barriers, and the idea of quitting was like, well, everyone was going to think I couldn’t do it, which is what they said I wouldn’t be able to handle. It wasn’t that I couldn’t handle it; I was in a very toxic environment, and if you’re in a toxic environment long enough, it will start to affect you. And so, I kind of had this breakdown, if you will, for a day or so. And then I went to my husband, and I said, “Listen.” I think I need to quit. He was like this job, “as long as you can find another one.” I don’t care who this is; this is my husband. You have to meet him. Whatever, it’s very sure whatever, but for me, it was an identity crisis because I was walking away.

That’s something I’ve spent years building. So, who was I going to be? What was I going to do if I walked away from that? And what was everyone? I’m going to think about that woman and me. She’s going to

Well, through some guidance, I reported her, and the organization decided that they would give me, you know, so many. So many months paid out and to allow me to go find another job even though they’re like, “Will you please stay?” and I’m like, “Yeah, no, that was kind of a transition in my life that was very tough because I had to decide.”

I was going to do and be what I wanted to be, but the Julie I have been being is not really what I wanted to be. That’s just what everyone told me I should do. Because that was successful, it was a difficult time in my life to figure out where and what I was going. To do and who? I had hoped to be around 30 years old. It was like I had two. Toddlers dropped a high-paying job, and I asked, “What the hell do I do now?”

I want to address it. First, I want to thank you for acting and reporting this person. I just watched Bill Burr’s new thing, and he’s like, Red Rock Canyon or whatever. Wherever he was in Red Rock or something, he talked about women. The average woman is smarter than the average man. I’ve worked with women in every facet of my career, and they do things better.

They’re more detailed-oriented. They get along like everything. In my opinion, women do better. And he’s like, so why aren’t women ruling the world? It’s because they can’t get along with other women. They’re not empowering each other. They’re not building each other up, and if you’re not watching the video right now, both ladies are nodding because it’s not the guys that are the problem yet. Guys do cause problems. I’m not going to sit here and pretend they don’t care. The story is full of that, but it’s other ladies tearing you down. And I mean that the story highlights it. I’m not the end-all-be-all knowledgeable person on this stuff, but I see it. I see it when my wife goes and hangs herself. Not with other women, a woman leaves the room, and they’re like, “Oh, you know, she’s all this, and she’s that.” Or they get together and tear down the person they’re with, and she’s like, “I don’t know, I can’t hang out with other ladies that are doing this stuff.” I was like, I don’t blame you. She’s like all they do is bash on their husbands, or as soon as they leave the room, they’re bashing on each other.

Why on earth? Why can’t women support each other? We all win.

Women are jealous. I mean, look at Julie. She’s like this beautiful person, right? So, you think about this. All those women thought she slept her way to the top. It’s not unusual. They automatically assume you’re sleeping with everybody if you’re succeeding and making it through the ranks. You can’t be doing it for merit, right? Even though you did, they have to have this narrative because I think they feel **** about themselves, so this is a way of projecting. It’s work.

Well, and I’ve always had to be above and beyond that. An assumption of me as a woman in high positions is that I have slept my way to the top or somehow worked my way up. For a couple of reasons, I always get along well with men. I have a great relationship with my father. He always had lots of guys. And his mechanic and all of my coaches were men. So, all my mentors were men.

I got along really well with them. I’m an easy-going person. I don’t get offended easily. I like to have fun. If someone tells a crude joke, it’s not the end of the world. I don’t think it’s sexual harassment.

I’ll probably tell you one too, and so I get along well, and one of the things I like is no drama, and guys are so no drama, so I built a lot of great male relationships in the companies, and guess who was promoting me. The males because they’re like men. She does her job. She’s easy to work with. She knows what she’s doing. Like, yeah, props. We’ll move her up because we want Julie to work with us. But in my world, like literally, my office door is always open. It’s never closed because if it’s closed someone since I’m doing something with a man who walks in, I mean literally, it’s been said to me.

I would not go out to dinner with anyone if I traveled on trips while working at the university. After our meetings, I would go to my hotel room. I wouldn’t sit and have drinks with people because it would be assumed that if I walked off with them, we were going. I mean, to do business, I mean, and so I’ve always had to be this above the bar on everything.

Because literally, I’ve been accused of it now. I’ve worked my way for a long time in the industry, and it’s become very clear that I have skills, but it has been something that I would say that’s probably the biggest barrier I’ve had to overcome. Was a woman helping me out? I never had a female mentor. Never. They always had to be male mentors, and I would have given anything for a woman like that to be higher up to give me some guidance. Do you know what I was doing?

It’s a bummer that that happens, yeah.

All this stuff is crazy, so I got into a new officer program in the military, and I got sent to the University of Oklahoma full-time. When I got to the ROTC unit, there were many people. It was like the biggest year ever. They had like 88 kids. This included 88 adults at this university, I walked in, and I’m a people person. I like talking to people. I greet you. You’re both aware of it. I go around like, hey, “How are you doing?” “How are you doing?”

I get there, and it’s like a middle school dance; there’s this large number of women on one side and this large group of males on the other. So, I introduce myself and say hello, and we’ve got all these young ladies just thirsty for mentorship and want to do well. They wanted to do good things, and I didn’t understand what was happening then. I found out later that only one active-duty female marine was there, and there were like 50 women for her to mentor. And there was this huge crew of active-duty guys. So, like you, can you know two-to-one mentorship? Or if it was the ladies, it was 1 to 50, and I was just like, “Hello, how are you doing?” They were just so eager to do well and do good things. I was like, “Here’s the deal.” You know, I’m going to swing through here on Tuesdays and Thursdays for lunch. I’m going to grab whoever is here and go to the union. We’ll have lunch.

Ask whatever questions you have. They have been in the Navy for 10 or 11 years at a time, and they loved it because they were finally getting some attention. Someone willing to help and share all this stuff and eventually get accused of sleeping around. And I was like, “What are we talking about here?” She’s like, “Well, we see you over talking to the girls and laughing.” So, I was like, “So accuse me of being hilarious.” Why are you, you know, accusing me of this? You know, and they were like, “Well, you know, we see you, you come in.” You get this group of girls in 456. If you walk off. I was like

I’m the old fat guy here. What do we think is happening? I have some kind of haram that I’m running. Well, you know, you were seen. Feel like Out in town with women, I was like, oh yeah, there was a picture of me out with a group of people. And what do you do with a group of people? You take a picture; you put your arms around each other, right? It’s like, well, I’m like, I still don’t understand the problem here. Like, well, you’re married. I’m like, yeah, and all these ladies come to my house, and they know my wife, hang out with my kids, and ask her questions about military life from a woman’s point of view like they’re into? We just can’t have what was mentioned, so I found out what happened, right? They didn’t tell me they could have told me they could have warned me about this, and I could have told him how I was going to operate upfront. It turns out there was an active-duty guy that came back through the unit while he was married. He joined a fruit fraternity. He started dating one of the young ladies in ROTC and got her pregnant. He divorced his wife.

The whole big scandal happened right before I got there. That’s why there was that divide. However, if they had said, I’d have been like, “I’m a people person.” I’m going to be in here. I’m going to be mentoring people. I will be talking to the ladies because they can’t be ignored. If you’re going to ignore them for their college career and then have them as naval officers or marine core officers with no mentorship for four years, what are we doing to our military, right? Where there’s a whole? Big, like a disaster. That was created, and they assumed I was cheating on them. I said, “Do me, with my wife and five or six of these girls.” Please stop fantasizing about me. So, what do they do? They’re making up a story about me in their heads. That’s not real; that’s a fantasy. They’re fantasizing about me, and I don’t appreciate that. When I was younger, now that I’m older, please fantasize about me all you want. Well, what is it? Is it that I am unapproachable? You can’t say, hey, that’s a little odd. What’s going on? They couldn’t just ask; They had to hold meetings about my behavior as if I was doing anything wrong or as if they were doing anything wrong. What kind of nonsense is that?

See, that’s Yeah, that’s my thing about being transparent, like when I was a professor. I was the youngest. So, did I get offers from the older gross profs? Yeah, all the time it was, and once again. It’s gross. It’s so old.

This is gross.

What exactly is it? Does Adam Sandler say something like “Gross old balls” in Adam Sandler’s movie? I think that’s what he says. You said this was

Yeah, a five-year plan. Maybe it’s a 10-year plan. What does it say when playing doesn’t die? Who’s got the old balls? Loose skin?

So, that was my Another issue was not only being a woman but a young woman. I was too young to be remotely smart enough. To do that job. I didn’t put in the time, and that’s kind of what she talks about. One of our mottos there is “We are not your competitors.” We are your biggest supporters. And if we get women in like that, we kick them out. We’re like, get out, there’s no room for you, and we’ve created this massive network where you have huge barrier-breaker women who will sit down with anyone and be like, “Yeah, alright.”

How can I help? Yeah, and there’s no You know, and I mean, I’m guilty of being competitive. I’m a professional athlete. I am competitive. Do you want to play some monopoly? Women play some monopoly, right? Do you want to take tests? We’re going to play some chess. I want to destroy you.

I know that if there’s a card game set up in our house, we’re not family.

Do that **** you, I’m going to dominate you. I don’t even care. I will lie, steal, cheat, and steal people’s things. What did you just do? I’m winning. I don’t even care about you, and then, like, we leave the table, and we’re, you know, still family.

Even in miniature golf, I cheat. I mean, I will because I suck at telling people. Are you looking to unlock my wallet? My husband gets so mad, like, “You cheated.” I was like, “I don’t know, you looked away, my balls in the whole.” “What can I say?”

But don’t you find that it’s really sad that everybody, especially women, preaches it, we’re just so encouraging them, and we’re going to support each other, and blah blah because at the end of the day, I mean, sadly, I have yet to meet a woman that says those things that follows them. And I’ll put but yeah, but I hope nobody. Right, whether you’re a man or a woman? But to just say it because that’s what society says we should say and then not do it. Don’t freaking say things that aren’t true? Don’t tell me you’re going to be supportive when you’re not going to be. At least, wouldn’t it be nice if everybody wore something like the kind of person they were on their forehead, so you could just really know?

Or whatever you’re familiar with, just like putting it on your forehead.

Hey, I’m right. I’m right here. Carol, you don’t have to. I’m ready. I’m sitting right here.

It is true, however.

I think what’s frustrating in this society is exactly what we’re talking about, right? And it can keep you from being a Titan, right? It’s like you’re just working your way up to talking. You’re doing your due diligence, and there’s no way they could be that successful. So, let’s just chop him down a bit. I’m sure they are sleeping around. I’m sure they’ve made it. Oh, I’m sure they know something smart. They’re friends, you know.

And I always tell people that I’ve never gotten a damn thing for anything I’ve done. No one gave me any money either. Start my business. I was an underdog. I’ve always been an underdog in everything I started, and it was just me with short willpower.

And wanting it to go get it, no one was like, “Here’s $50,000, sorry business.” I started my business on pennies. You know, I paid for my first degree. I got a scholarship for my first degree but paid for my other degrees.

I’m dyslexic, so work for me is twice as hard with everything I do, you know, and so you know, I just hate that we can’t accept someone’s success. Without questioning it, you know, and just being like, “Actually, genuinely happy for someone,”

They celebrate it with them. I mean, there’s no celebration, you know, between women. I just don’t know. And the glass ceiling?

I’ll tell you who’s in charge of that glass ceiling, other women.

That’s the quote of the century right there. 

Some feminists are going to hate to hear this. I’m not a feminist because I dislike how these women have gone. It’s gross, but I’ve never been stopped by it. Man, I think the people who have stopped me in my progression have been women, so I even say in my book that I love my guys. I love my guys, and not in a weird funky way. Strangely, I get more support and promotion now.

Mind you, I have a great circle of women now, so shout out to all my ladies. They know who they are and that I have a great circle. And it’s little. I took my circle, and I went like this. I don’t need 300, 1000, or a million. I need three or four, and I’m good, and then we can work our way out from there. But that’s all I needed, and we are our biggest. We’re so excited when something happens to them like they’re calling each other. We’re like, “Oh my God, that’s.” Awesome. I love it. Do you know? And that’s what I love.

Is that I never had anyone? Except for my family cheering me on in my process, there wasn’t, you know, and so I didn’t find those friends until much later in my life. And I think that’s why it’s hard when people are trying to become Titans to find a group that wants to take you and help you make it to the next level. It exists now much more than it did 20 years ago. I mean, I was told girls don’t do business, girls don’t own businesses, girls don’t teach business, literally. In one of my job interviews, the guy said to the English department down the hall, “Honey, don’t let the door hit.”

You’re on the way out. That was one of my interviews.

Holy ****

So, you know that support group, and thankfully, once again, my wacky mom, I would call her crying, and she’d be like, “He’s an idiot.” Do what you want to. Do you know what I’d do? Be like a big fan. That’s great advice, but she was right. He was an idiot, so everyone needs someone they like.

You know, I mean Yeah, yeah

Do you know what’s ******* stupid? Do what needs to be done.

Well, don’t you think those people also fire you up, as it gives you that boost to just go and do it because I’m going to show him, you know, and not so much show him? It’s showing yourself that you’re capable.

And I’m super competitive, so when you do *** like that, to me, it’s just like, “Let’s go.” You know, I know, not everyone likes that. Some people cry and go back the other way, but that’s probably where I’m at because so many people were like “no, no, no.” And I was like, why not? Why not, you know?

And then it was just like, “Well, fine, whatever you know, I can’t speak.” On stage, they only play. I’m not supposed to do business. I’ll start businesses and make more. Then you know, I always feel like where there’s a will, there’s a way, so if you want it, and this is why I would say there are no barriers but yourself, right? Those women who were horrible to me, I had that horrible moment in my life. Essentially, they pushed me into something that I would never have into if they hadn’t been that horrible to me, and that’s what pushed me in this direction of becoming an author and podcaster and saying, screw you. Guys, I don’t need this big job or this giant amount of money to define who I am, and that’s what you know. I always say, if you want it, get it. I don’t have a lot of emotional intelligence for people who are like, “Oh, I just can’t get it.” It’s not worth it to me. “

I’m like, “Dude, suck it up, go get it.”

That door gets slammed on. You take an ax, chop the door down, use it as fuel for the fire, get it hotter, and go full steam ahead, please.

Yeah, I mean, and Travis, you know. I mean, hearing your story on our podcast. I mean, I always say I don’t know how he’s not a corner. Do you know what I mean?

Well, yeah, he has an incredible story, yeah?

That stuff happened to you, so like

Oh, stop. Keep going. I’ll give you 20 minutes. Knock it off.

So, I mean, I think Titan is a really powerful word. You know, it’s a really powerful world when we

Think about the Titans and movies. And I guarantee you that many amazing people out there don’t classify themselves as Titans. You know, and I believe we have to find those people because those are the people that are going to make a change in our world.

It’s like a really good change. Oh, I 100% agree. And Titans, you know, think people think of it as money-oriented, like you’re talking about billionaires, but it isn’t about that. It’s about being a leader. That’s why we did. We wanted to hear from leaders in their industry, whatever they’re doing, and hear how they got there because it’s never a linear path. I mean, there are spikes and falls and all sorts of things. There are moments where you just literally want to give it all up, but you keep persevering. Because you don’t know anything, but yeah, we do it.

And sometimes I’m like, “I wonder what it would be like to be normal.” And then I’m like, “Oh, that’s not going to happen.”

No, no, that’s it.

But no one wants to be normal; they just want to be included. And then when they, get included, they want to be loved for who they are. But somehow, we feel like we must this box to be accepted. Here’s the deal: People in this room are telltale themselves. I seriously said that I guest on another show. I think Oscar Wilde would be like, ask you to try to be like everyone else?” Everyone else is already taken. Be a *******. Be who you are. I wanted Julie to come on here mostly because she’s a ****** ************ She is. She’s talking to these businesses and getting smarter for the better.

No, she kicks down doors. Take your head if you’re not doing what you’re supposed to be underwater until you submit it so you can bounce something in May. But she’s like, “Oh yeah, you know, I live between, you know, two Navy bases down, and it’s like San Diego.” I know she’s back on her back patio. You know, drinking Mai tais, watching all the sealed candidates run around with their shirts on, not just to be like “Yep, this is my life now.” I just love to know like it was your AR.

This is amazing.

Come to the beach and stay for the view. And her team at Synergy Learning got credit at Forbes and Belhaven. She’s working at the University of San Diego, right?

Now she is the one that took the Ultimate Podcast Guide and turned it into what it is.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I mean, you know, it’s always said that I never imagined myself being in all these spaces. Because I had a limited imagination at that point in my life, I was told, “You know what a good job for a girl is?” a teacher of children should go be a schoolteacher. You don’t want me to be your schoolteacher if you know me.

I want you to be my schoolteacher.

But I used to think he meant, and this sounds funny, but even when I was young, we had this treehouse that my dad had built for us because we lived in the country, and I would climb up there, right? And most kids will play with toys. I would make a list. To do a list maker what? I needed to do that, and I stuff and doing entrepreneurship. When I was ten, I was negotiating with farmers to pay me more. Pick their berries and stuff like this, you know. I mean, that was just who I was, but people always say but you know, there are two good professions out here: being a teacher or being a demon wife, and I always think I don’t want to be either of those. Teaching is nothing wrong with teaching, but for me, it’s not my thing, and being a dairyman’s wife means I’m going to smell *** for the rest of my life.

So no, it smells like money. Yeah, that’s what I was. So, save money. But you know, I think that that’s the other thing. If we’re building out our new generation of women, which I’m such a huge proponent of, I spend a tonne of time working with young women. In particular, I take in single moms in need and help them get out there, right? They get their degrees; they get all the stuff they need.

You know, when I look at these women, you know, a lot of them come from families where they think that there’s just not much for them to do except Working at McDonald’s Nothing was working out wrong with Morgan at McDonald’s, but I mean, one of them was like a genius. They tested her; she was a genius, but she was so caught up in this.

It was difficult to pull her out of not only poverty but also gangs, and for her to realize she could do something amazing. She could’ve been freaking with Nah. And I think that our younger generation if we can give that to them if we can instill it, but it’s difficult to do when people our age can’t behave like that, and we behave the way we do. You know Like talking about, and so when I think about raising just tonnes of Titans, right? That’s what I see.

This is like us taking what we’re doing now and instilling it in our youth because God knows our youth need a lot of freaking help. I don’t know if you guys see this on social media. But I watch it, and I’m like, “Oh, I need a drink because things I see, I’m like, for the love of God, please.” But I’ll just stand.

If you can’t cope, turn to alcohol. Doctor Julie Ducharme promotes it.

But I just spent a week with 1500 youth kids at a vacation Bible school. Just you know and watching the fun of that and seeing us instill good things in them and having good clean fun and stuff.

I think one of my goals in this part of my life is to make sure that I can. Give back. To anyone coming next, because those are our future leaders, I feel like we’ve got a long way to go to get our future leaders where they need to be and our future Titans. And so, you know, I just feel like it’s so important that those of us doing it like this get involved with those young people and push them forward, because if not, then just put a pillow over my face.

It is our obligation, though we need to, uh, I look at my kids, who are now 24 and 26, and I sit there, and I go, “Wow, you know, the way they grew up is so different than the way I grew up, and we didn’t have cell phones.” And thank God we didn’t have cell phones because of the **** we got away with.

I didn’t want it recorded. You know, but you can’t do anything anymore. You’ve got to be very careful about what you do, and I wouldn’t want to live. In that kind of world, you know, because when we felt like doing things, you knew naked and run around, and nowadays, you can’t get away with that without somebody. Having  yourself and then posting post over the place, right faction 

Then here’s child *********** and you’re a sex offender. And Oh my God, I saw another human body and we’re going to freak out about it.

Oh my gosh, yeah, we did somebody’s prank. We moved someone’s dorm room on top of their roof.

And then I got in trouble for one, and they told me that I had to clean the windows around campus. So, I got some rollerblades, went to the thrift store, and got something like a jail look. I got some chains, put them on, and started cleaning the windows in this jail outfit on rollerblades. And so I was, people just thought it was so great that they were like, “Never mind, forget it, forget it, like in my lesson, thank you.”

I will probably get arrested now for that, right. But yeah, yeah. We will probably get arrested now for that, right. But yeah, yeah. We’ve all played. A lot of pranks. I won’t mention the others because I don’t want to incriminate my other pranksters.

Well, you don’t. I mean, don’t name names. This isn’t the usual dime-dropping podcast. Because it says Evolution podcast, we know you’re not that person.

Yeah, yeah, not I mean, I would never go into a guy’s dorm room. Cover their seats with you, icy hot and cellophane, and then tie every single door together so no one can open their door to go to the bathroom in the morning. I would never do that, so yeah.

Wow, we’re getting deep and authentic here on that Evolution podcast. Today, Doctor Julie brought him. What kind of advice do you have for people that are maybe stuck on the hamster wheel?

They don’t fully understand that a Titan is living within them, or just… you know, you know, what would you tell them? What would you tell these people, is this like all there is?

You know, I hear I meet a lot of people who say to me, “I want to do what you do,” and I’m like, “No, you don’t, because what I do is for me.” You have to do what you want to do for you to get out of that hamster wheel. I just have to stop running. For a moment, and step out of it, or I say, you know, you’re standing at the door, and you’re scared to open the door and step through it, and nothing’s ever going to help. as long as you stare at that door. And what makes the difference between Titans and non-Titans or the Titans walking through the door? The Titans get off that day-to-day wheel and find the needed change. So, if you want to do it, I mean, the biggest thing is that people say I can’t. I have a million. I don’t have any money. Guess what? Half the things I did add pennies to my name. And I just said, “Screw it, I’m going to go do it,” you know? I mean, so money shouldn’t be an excuse. Oh, I don’t have the experience.

Guess what? There’s a thing called the Internet. You can figure it out, and I guarantee you, there’s someone you can probably find to give you some advice. There are a million YouTube videos on everything. When I talk with people, they run out of excuses fast because we make excuses because of our fear. And fear is extremely potent. It can destroy people’s lives. And so, you have to be able to get past your fear, your anxiety, all those things that happen.

As I told you guys, every time I have to walk on to do a photo shoot, I always think, why in the world would they want a photo shoot with me? But every time it happens, it is terrifying for me to think someone will take pictures of my body because I don’t want that.

Very remotely right. But I know that that’s part and parcel of my job because I’ve agreed to be a sponsor or they’ve hired me as a sponsor, and I need to do it. So, I just have to tuck that fear away and step onto this set just like I had an anxiety attack before my radio show. And then I walked in, and I did it right, and then and then I probably sweated through my jacket. Everyone’s got excuses. Everyone’s got an excuse for everything, and I think I used it on my podcast.

Travis is about taking accountability, right, taking accountability, and moving forward. So the people who are willing to step aside are what distinguishes a Titan from a non-Titan. All that fear, shame, whatever it is holding them back from saying, “You know what, I’m going to go still and do it.” I might fail. I might fall. Oh God, I’ve got lots of those stories. You could do a whole other podcast on all the stupid things I did in the process of getting places, but that would be my tip to get rid of the excuses.

And here comes the like. Not so empathetic, Julie. I don’t care how bad you are, do you?

You know, and that’s going to be the difference between the person who stays on the hamster wheel and the person who gets out there, and everyone has a different path. I get stuff done. Everyone takes different times. I’m competitive. I’m a pusher. That’s how I work. Do you want it done by the end of the week? We’re going to go right after that, right where? For other people, it might take him through

months, three years, or five years. So that would be my tip: removing your barriers removes you from holding yourself back.

Julie, this was such a great interview. Thank you so much for being our guest today. I love that you were so real, that you told real stories and got the essence of what you believe Titan is and how people can get there.

Yeah, absolutely. Thank you for having me.

We’re here every week if you want to see more shows like this. Give us a like, share all that fun stuff, and maybe you’ll be on the show, and you can tell us how you are a Titan.