How to Live Life with No Regrets with Joshua B Lee

Joshua, “The Dopamine Dealer of LinkedIn” joins us to give the next generation advice on the value of work and money. Live your life with no regrets.  

Highlights:

{02:35} What makes Joshua a Titan

{08:23} The Dopamine Dealer of LinkedIn

{16:50} Message to the next generation on the value of work and money

{31:00} Living with no regrets

{34:35} Encouragement for others

{44:00} The importance of connection

{56:30} Book “Balance is Bullsh*t”

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Joshua B Lee Bio

They call me “The Dopamine Dealer of LinkedIn” and I’m proud of that nickname.

I’m an entrepreneur, business owner, author, coach, marketer, and a very blessed husband and father.

Way back in 2003 I built my career in online marketing with clients like MySpace and Google with advertising spends of over half a billion dollars, which generated over 35 trillion online impressions for these companies.

I’ve been lucky enough to build 16 companies in my career from online marketing to coaching to web design and more.

But that’s not my real passion. My real passion is creating lasting, meaningful, and most importantly HUMAN connections. I’ve created StandOut Authority so I can work with entrepreneurs like you to help you humanize your professional or company brand on LinkedIn using authentic, inspirational engagement with your clients or audience.

I think it’s one of the most important things anyone can do in their business to truly build long-term and lasting relationships that flourish.

I genuinely believe there is NO B2B or B2C just Human to human connections, and I want to show you how to do exactly that!

I also believe there’s no such thing as work-life “balance” only an integrated life built on a foundation of vision, relationships, passion, and business.

Connect with Josh:

joshua@standoutauthority.com

Connect with Josh on Social

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Full Transcript

Hi guys. Welcome to the Show I am Carol Carpenter, and here’s my co-host, the wedding, and the ever-so-charming Travis Johnson.

And today we have a special guest on our podcast, Joshua Bailey, AKA the Dopamine Dealer of LinkedIn. We’ll get into that. In 2014, Josh founded Stand Out Authority so he could work with entrepreneurs, business owners, and professionals. Humanize their professional or company brand on LinkedIn using an authentic and inspirational engagement with their clients and audience. He’s an entrepreneur, business owner, coach, marketer, and author of Balance is Bullsh*t There you go. How to successfully integrate work and life? Welcome to the show, Joshua.

Thank you, Carol. I’m so glad because I’ve sent like the bio out before and people go in and they read like 5 paragraphs and I’m like “Dude, we don’t need to agree through everything,” so thank you for like summarizing it and I’m sitting here like “Oh my God, they’re reading the whole ******* thing. I’m like, “Dude, I don’t do that.”

My attention span is about, like, short, you know, ADHD a bit, so I want to get to know, like, the gist, and so really though, give me a show and then I’ll crack it open and get to know it.

I’m in. Let’s do it.

I like how she threatened violence right up front.

I’ll do it.

This is like, I don’t want to get to know you, I just want to beat you open and see what gooey stuff is on the inside.

I’ve already threatened to cry if I don’t, so you know, Michael.

Well, we’re going to. We’re going to make you cry. I think because you’re right on the edge. We’ve talked about this already.

We’re going to have to rebrand It’s going to be a thing, yeah.

What’s that? Our brand is weird.

We’re going to have to rebrand now if we’re making everyone cry.

OK, so yeah, we’re going to beat the crap out of all of our guests and make them cry.

Oh, that’s. I don’t think that’s going to work. Let’s just say that’s not good branding.

You’re a thug. Did you wake up and choose violence today, Carol?

I did not look at this face. I’m super sweet.

That’s what people say about my face. And then I start talking and am like, “Oh ***, here we go!” and am like, “Oh ***, here we go.”

Oh, we know better.

Oh, so Joshua, tell us, what makes you a Titan?

It’s an interesting question, you know. I mean, because like you guys told me, like, OK, you’re going to have to answer, what makes you a Titan? Looking back, I believe it was a turning point for me. When I used to go, “Oh, what makes me a Titan?” I’ll go back in, and I’ll talk about the companies I built and all the money I made and all these other things, but then I went through a reset in my life, and I think now when I look at that question, I think what makes me a Titan is that I’m truly about the different failures and missteps that I made, and I learned from them.

And I share them, and I’m not afraid to be able to do that to others because one of the biggest things that shifted for me was when I played that Titan role before, based on what we’re all taught Honestly, it led me down a path that, you know, had me contemplating my own life and my existence on this planet and leaving more money for my kids than being here. And that shift was like lightning that I took back my life and started sharing and making sure that no other person ever felt as alone as I did, trying to be this tight and that we’ve all been trained to be able to look what they believed that to be.

Well, don’t you think a lot of people equate tightened with the amount of money you have, which equates to the lower right I think it’s so much more than that, and the reality is that, as individuals within the industry that are leaders, it’s our responsibility. not only to mentor others, because we must keep that ball rolling.

So, I think it’s just based on what your description of a Titan is in your mind, and I think you’re right, it has to be a mind shift.

Yeah, yeah.

And I think that starts with us, right, being able to go through the people that others, I guess, look to be able to guide, to be able to go through if we’re trying to be able to keep pushing this wrong way of thinking. Then, you know, how are we going to be able to change, how are we going to be able to shift?

How are we going to make it better for the next generations, for my kids, for everyone’s kids, to be able to go in and feel more confident about what they do and why rather than what I was trained to be able to go through and do it? Don’t show your cracks Keep everything back, you know. You will only be able to show the best things and let everyone know. making as much money as possible, which, in essence, is not healthy.

Let me ask you what nationality you are.

I know this is I probably shouldn’t ask, but you’ve mentioned some things that are very parallel to the way I was raised, and I was never allowed to show emotion. I couldn’t get upset, couldn’t get angry, couldn’t cry. It shows weakness and any kind of emotion. That would be a signal of weakness, and I wasn’t allowed to be weak.

I know it’s the last name, Lee. It might throw everyone off because I get, I get, are you related to Bruce Lee? I’m like, yeah. I don’t look like him, but

Plain as day, I can see this here.

Oh, you know, it’s being able to go through there, but you know, honestly, Carol, if it is a Texan, uh, nationality,

OK, so it’s just No, I’m just saying I was just

The way they talk about it is

There’s a whole other nationality. Don’t mess with Texas. Everything’s bigger in Texas. Texas isn’t even a big state. I mean, I don’t know what they’re talking about down there.

Yeah, I don’t know.

It’s just usually the people that I talk to that have that kind of background that talk like that, have like an Asian background. And so, when I hear that kind of stuff, I’m always curious.

Oh, you know, is somebody in your family, you know, of different descent, because I think it’s just me.

That’s a really good dad, yeah.

I mean, my dad kind of went through and never really showed as, like, you know, being able to go through no matter at 15, you know, he was an EVP of a company and lost his job and, you know, basically had to go back in and it didn’t. I didn’t cry, I didn’t sit back.

You know, one of the good things that he did was to show me that I shouldn’t let anything stop me, right?

Being able to go through He didn’t sit back, though. Oh well, it was me Let me complain about what just happened, you know? He went in He started selling siding at Sears.

He then worked at Circuit City right in that location, you know, doing this, selling some 18-wheelers, and then got a job at this credit card company, where he eventually worked his way up to EVP, so it was that piece. It was like, don’t ever let them see you sweat, right, to be able to go in And I mean, it’s great.

The ability to say, hey, you know, don’t let anything stop you, but I think that is also associated with some of those things that have an emotional aspect as well And I’ll be honest, you know, I look at my son too.

I was an emotional kid growing up and I learned, and I continue to be able to work on being able to make sure that I release those and be able to be more open and honest not only with the world but with myself.

At the same time, I think that’s a really important part of

Yeah, I just

Our story and understanding and discovering who we are Like many people, I have been going through a kind of existential crisis of my own.

I retired from the military a few months ago, and we worked hard to ensure that we were as debt free as possible when the time came when I knew I wasn’t being guaranteed that first and 15th paycheck, so we’re well set up. And I’ve been going through the exploration of, like, well, who the heck am I now? I don’t have the military; I don’t have to go to work.

I don’t have to go do those things. I realize I’m in a super amazing place in my life, being 40 and UN-quote retired, not needing a job. It was so bizarre to go through that exploration and, you know, the exploration was discovered. Who is it that I am? I know we talked about some antiquated things, like Circuit City. You’ve got my space written here in your bio. For whatever reason, I’m pretty sure I would have you. I would put it in my top eight if Myspace was still a thing, but I want to know from you, like, what is it?

What is a dopamine dealer?

I know what dopamine is, that hit you get every time you get a like or an update, but what do you mean by dopamine dealer?

Well, it’s around that and, you know, it wasn’t going to be that, to be honest. It wasn’t a self-glorifying title I gave myself. I was on another podcast of Friends of Mine They’ve got a podcast called The Hustle and Flow Chart and after just talking about what we did right, it’s a shift, so before I go into that, you know, talk about my space, right? So, the reason why I got to where I am right now is that I was blessed with a curse, right? Like, when I first started in the online world, one of my first clients was Myspace. When I say that, my wife says, “Dude, that ages you and makes people realize how old you are.”

I’m like, “Yay,” but you know, it was like back then, dude, it was all about being able to monetize as much traffic as possible. We were able to go in and assist them in creating one of the first social media ads to monetize that traffic. And that’s what it was, a whole bunch of traffic being able to go through working with companies like Google and Yahoo and Myspace and all these other things. I got good at monetizing traffic, but I didn’t help anyone or sell anything at the time, even though there was a lot of traffic. And honestly, that’s what’s led me to that whole piece of running multiple companies outside of England.

Do you look at Josh? And I was miserable. Even me? Right.

I was at a point of being able to go through. I still remember one of those big points in my life, which was after I had my kids and I wanted to start trying to be able to make a better change and be able to go. But I was still caught up in the moment of where I was at And I mean, hell, I remember at my home office, right? such as those door shots and the ability to hide in my office, which became a sanctuary but also a coffin in which I would stare at the wall all day. It is kind of lame that it should be in this world. And I was really lucky that I had a good friend of mine that gave me permission to not only take back my life but give back my whole life to do my former and my kids’ things and be able to move forward, to be able to shift. And as I was going through all of that, I realized what I wanted to do when I first wrote my book.

Travis, dude, if you had met me, you know, eight years ago, as I was going through my reset in my life when my wife let me add the man bun, dude, I had modeled beads. I mean, you know, the pins on the swings.

Oh my God Do you like that, Bush? Oh my God.

Josh has got this great media kit, got all these photos available. I’m going to have to go search my old Myspace account and see if I can find that photo of the main bundle in the bead seat size or cover art.

And the beads.

I don’t know if you’ll go.

Yeah, they wait.

He had to go that far. I mean, you go even further and button your shirt down to your belly button.

I’m sorry. Of course, well. How are we going to be able to show, you know, how we get a peacock?

Your shirt, daddy. Well, you have to show the ads and everything like that.

Oh my God. OK, here we go. We’re digging for that soda.

I mean, let’s be honest, Carol, after I went to get my divorce once, the whole thing, I mean. I like people like, “Do you ever take your hair down?” and my wife is probably going to kill me for saying this, but I would use my line, “I only take it down when I’m naked. 

So what? That’s not bad.

It was just one of those things that, you know, you know?

What else?

The girl asked, kind of going through that whole thing. It was just one of those pieces, so that’s the kind of situation.

Oh, Joshua, this is You cannot offend me. I’m around men all day long. In the motorcycle world, you can say whatever you want. Yeah, I don’t even blush.

But it was one of those things, right? I was so caught up in my turmoil of what I was going through that it wasn’t until I started releasing, looking at the human, how it goes through, that I realized, like, that’s where the dopamine dealer kind of came in, because I was trying to be able to warn, the pendulum swung to where I was going to be. I was out. I was out and about. I was doing all this stuff, but I was, you know, able to go through it.

But when I finally settled on one, I realized that when I wasn’t a life coach, that’s not where I wanted to be. I needed to understand human nature, being an only child, and be able to understand people.

And then take that with my business acumen of what I learned about traffic and pair those things together to say, how do we humanize traffic? So, I mean that that whole dopamine dealer of LinkedIn, Travis, came back after a long freaking time and came back into reality? How do we engage online?

Right?

How do you give small hits of dopamine to put someone in a flow state because people go? Oh, you don’t think that gets me super pumped and high? Well, it calms and allows someone to be able to be in a more flow state to be able to hear you have a real conversation.

And that’s what we started doing, and so we leveraged on a platform like LinkedIn, just started doing the things that my mom did. It taught me how to be able to treat other human beings We started doing it online.

And so that was a full shift from traffic to that Titan ******** that I was talking about before, and Oh my God, I’m like, what the hell am I doing to finally be able to find my true purpose and what I was doing to be able to take it all together and learn from all those different aspects of my life?

I love how you weaved that story together, and I especially like how you used the word “tight.”

Then it did It did, it did.

That tight flow, that tight flow, and ******** Right now we’re staring at, like, the… I don’t know, like the top five largest Mega Millions jackpots out there.

There was a club.

And I know there are people out there buying their lottery tickets and all that, but winning that jackpot, getting to the top of whatever industry, doesn’t mean anything if you don’t know who you are and what you’re about when you have all that money in the bank. The reason that so many people go broke is that they are playing the lottery because it was never part of their financial strategy anyway.

They didn’t have one, so they planned to hope that the money they did have wasn’t squandered. But when you get to, as you mentioned, that Titan ********, so many people fight and strive and claw their way up, and some people get into the backstabbing and all this craziness. They just try to get that title or that thing or that whatever, and they get there, and they walk through that door and realize that the room is empty, and it has no meaning, and they have no idea what they’re going to do now that they’re. Whatever it is, they’ve achieved whatever, but it means nothing. And if they did terrible things to get there, it just makes it that much worse.

But when you operate as who you are, as a real person, and the things that you’re all about, it changes the game completely.

That’s a true Titan. That’s a true Titan.

That’s creating an effective, affecting change compared to just expecting it to be able to change for them.

No, unfortunately, we live in a world of entitlement right now. And I have kids that are, you know, 2426 years old. I see things happen that I’m like, you know? I hear excuses. I don’t hear you taking accountability for anything in your life. And until you learn to take accountability for it, you can’t change what is necessary to move forward. So, keep making those excuses. You’re going to be stuck in a rut for a bit, but if you want to keep moving. Forward, take accountability. Apologize to whom you need to apologize and move forward. These are lessons; you don’t move on without learning lessons along the way.

True, I mean, truly true. and it’s excellent. To know that, even though my son is turning 13 this week, uh, there may still be some road ahead of twenty forks. He’s acting similarly in the same way, so yeah, exactly as we see here.

I think, dude, do you not know? Appreciate the things you get, like yours.

They don’t mind, though, because that’s their normal.

What’s that 

That’s the thing I’m trying to say is that my children were lucky, you know? I mean, they grew. I grew up so much more fortunate than I ever was. I liked the chances they had. I never did.

I did, and I did it because I didn’t want my children to suffer in the same way I did, in a way.

I almost feel like I handicapped them a little bit right now because I’m trying to do better for them.

Meanwhile, they’re not experiencing some of the hardships in life and getting that, you know, getting that tough backbone and all that stuff. And as I’m sitting there going, I’m looking at, sometimes I’m like, “ooh, you’re soft. You are soft You know; you haven’t quite figured out that you need to get some bruises and scrapes and

Yeah, I mean, like, I’m glad I’m not alone when we go and look at it, and I’m sure some of the future generations were listening, but it seems like we are, you know, each generation we’re getting softer and softer and weaker.

We’re not making it stronger Humanity, where it’s, you know, we’re more susceptible to everything. and it’s like, “Oh well, I don’t want to do that. Well, child, so and tough ****, sometimes he’s got to do right.

So, we don’t know what childhood is, right? Child labor laws were enacted back in like 1916, and they said you couldn’t work under a certain age.

Well, before that, as soon as you could physically do something, you were helping out at the farm or the shop or whatever you had because there wasn’t automation, the machinery was really expensive, all that stuff.

And you had to work. And if you’re on a farm or if your parents own a restaurant in today’s world, you better believe you’re doing things from day one. But the vast majority of people have all moved into the city. We have a suburban life. We don’t have to do a lot of things.

Usually, both parents work, or if you’ve got one parent, they’re working two jobs or three jobs, and I know that I did, but they didn’t have to put in the work. It’s a lot easier, especially in the digital age and with the things that we’re all doing right now. We’re podcasting from three different states right now.

We make our money online Doing stuff.

Carol is the only person who shows up to do race events. I mean, it’s so much easier to make money remotely than at any time in history. So, the different lessons have to be different.

I remember my wife taking our young son He’s now 14. If we’re throwing kids’ ages around right, he’s now 14. When he was a kid, you know, she’d take him to the store, and she’d buy him things like a Hot Wheels car or whatever. And I came home, and I was like, “Baby, we get a lot of cars, like, where we have this giant box of cars, like, what’s the deal? 

Well, every time I take Cole out, like, I’m getting him one of these cars when he’s good and I’m like, so we can’t do that and she’s like, why not? I didn’t have anything where she was like, “You didn’t have anything going on. I was like, “Life is not about stuff. What you’re doing is training him to do that every time he leaves the house. He gets paid to behave, and then he has to come home with something like, “That’s the behavior that we’re ingraining; it’s not.” I don’t care that he gets toys.

We can afford toys Get him toys. But the reason behind it matters. It matters so much, and if that’s how we’re training him, it’s not going to equate to something good. So many people I know in our generation didn’t have that ability, and now that we can have it, we think that’s the answer.

Having is not the answer Earning is the answer.

It’s so, so important to be able to remember Travis.

I mean, I think we all know three of us. We work to instill that into our kids all the time, but no matter how much we try, unless we show them, not tell them, and that’s the difference, right?

But we’ve also worked hard for what we’ve worked hard for, putting in the time, energy, and effort to be able to have those things. I mean, I have this conversation all the time with someone Why do you have to go buy these Nikes?

I don’t know, I’m like It worked for it. I made the money. Right, Dad gets to buy whatever heck he wants.

Why don’t I get this because you need me to pay for it?

Yeah, you have to earn the money, dude.

And it’s like, OK, it’s not clicking something. Yeah, well, I’ll tell you what, sweetheart. You know what? You can get up at 6:00 AM every morning and go deliver papers and see how many hours it takes.

For you to own that pair of shoes, and then decide if it’s worth it, there will be a bigger appreciation for how much things cost because people don’t understand how much things cost.

They figure, “Oh, I like They don’t even look at the price because dad’s paying for it and mom’s paying for it, right? So, it doesn’t matter, but the minute they have to put money into it themselves? There are hours. They’re hard to please when things change.

And when they have to look at what they’re doing and how it impacts the world around them, I remember when my daughter was in junior high, she came home one day and said, “Dad, I want to get a snake. And I was like, “Hey, you know, the snake. OK, how much is this thing? She’s like, “Dad, it’s only $500.00.” I was like, “What is she talking about? It was only $500.

It was 500 of my dollars. And she’s like, “Dad, I know you’re good for it. And I was like, “Look, you’re not.” You’re not doing your job. I’m not going to think she’s like, “Dad, I’m a kid, I don’t have a job. 

It’s like you go to school at your job. She’s like Dad If school was my job, I’d be getting paid.

I was like, OK, we’re starting a conversation here as if you want to get paid for grades. She’s like, yeah, I was like, I’ll pay you for a She’s like EJ. I was like, “No, all A’s and I gave you. $500.00 or you get $0.

And she’s like what I was like. I set the gauntlet right and set the challenge. She goes out like the son of a gun and comes back with straight A’s. She’s like, “Dad, let’s go get the snake.” I was like, “No, the challenge was for the dollars, not for the reward.” The dollars you had We put a little thing out in front of her door.

Your bank account, right? I wrote $500.00 on it. She’s like, “Yeah, let’s go get the snake. It’s like, “No, now I’m going to teach you how to spend money. 

So, let’s look at our network. It’s like the first place you want with pets. They get the snake and the thing and the honorarium and all the heating rocks and all that stuff. But that’s five hundred dollars, but that’s not the only option, so it’s just like, well, what do we do?

It’s like, I’m going to ask my friends on Facebook because Myspace was already defunct by that time. I was on Myspace, well, not pretending that I wasn’t, but at the time when my daughter was at home. What were you talking about?

Like, that was my client 20 years ago. So, we’ve been putting others like, “Hey, whom do we know this? My buddy goes, “Oh, hey, I know somebody went to this dude’s place. He had

I don’t know if it was legal or not His whole garage was full of all sorts of different animals that he was breeding. I’d guess it’s illegal. There was a buggy themed after the city. Yeah, it’s, it’s. It seems shady. I don’t know who the guy was If the feds are listening to this, I don’t have any information for you We go there. We found a ball Python.

She wanted a ball Python We got a tank and the heating rock and something to embed all of it together. How much do we think it was?

A couple for $100.

Carol says a couple

100  

60 bucks.

Get the flock out, yes.

I didn’t go over.

Yes, 60 bucks to get all this stuff done She got it, and she was so happy. And after we deducted the 60 dollars from her chart thing, she had 440 dollars and 440 dollars left, and I was like, “See?” I know, is it funny?

I’m Chinese and can do There’s nothing wrong with that statement right there. Sorry. I feel like there’s a joke in there. I don’t know what it is, but I feel like there’s a joke in there. So, we got the opportunity to have her put in some effort to pay attention to her grades a little bit, and it didn’t last, but she did it for that time. She was paid as agreed, and then we had a secondary lesson about how we were going to proceed and do this because, yeah, you can go do it. You can go spend the 500 bucks.

But then you’re at 500 bucks and he’s got a snake that just sits in his cage like staring at you, and you wonder when you go feed him if it’s going to eat the rat or if it’s going to eat your hands like you’re not sure what’s going to happen in the barrel.

Yeah

It might just crack you open and eat you right there. I don’t know what’s going to happen.

Oh, I’m a vegetarian, so that wouldn’t happen.

But so many times, as parents, as busy as we are as a culture, and I hate that word, we abdicate We delegate responsibility for raising our children to the schools. We will vote and campaign for a politician and get them elected. But then we abdicate our continued responsibility and say, “You go out and fix it.” If they don’t, we say, “Well, why didn’t you do anything?”

And they didn’t support him the whole time, but they abdicated and said it’s your responsibility. Oh, you didn’t. We’ll just get somebody else No, they’re not taking ownership.

What exactly is it? Is that what’s going on in the world, what they’re deciding or what they’re doing? But it’s not all sunshine and rainbows.

Josh, what happened? Is he like, “What did you get into this pit, and you went through this transformation?” You say “transformation,” right? That’s like a code word for however many months or years that took. What does that look like? What does it feel like to be in that pit?

You know, Travis, it was an interesting spot to be in, you know. Even before it happened, right? Right, I still have flashbacks to when I would stare at a wall like that. I’m running multiple companies. I can always, you know, make everyone perceive whatever I need them to feel. I’m acting right, being able to.

And we learned this as entrepreneurs. We did agree that this is awesome indoors to be able to look at Facebook life, right? Like, “Oh my God, look at that person. always happy. They’re always just looking at all the crazy stuff they’re doing and thinking there’s no issue, right?

You know, like, then behind the scenes or something. They’re upset. Yeah, they’re life-sized. They’re **** *** all the time, right? And this is why Gormiti kids have this. There are more mental health issues than ever before And I think that that was a lot That was a lot when I was going through it, right?

I didn’t permit myself and I needed someone else to be able to do that for me to be able to give me It’s a good thing it happened.

And it wasn’t easy, right? My lawyers, you know, drabbest it. One of the first things was, “Well, you run 10 companies. Your father thinks that you’re hiding money around the globe. It’s going to take three years. You know, as I said, I’m a new person. I’m a new me. I don’t need money to be able to kind of go in And I said I value my time over

So, I can always make more money. I can’t make more time. And so, I closed everything down, liquid everything, and walked away at 36 with a little bit under $1000 in my name. And in about six months, that was the fastest I could go through that to be able to move forward, so my kids didn’t go through it. I moved back in with my parents, went in there, didn’t worry about money for years, and then had to go through that.

And at first, I was out, right? I was out with my buddies. It was, you know, taking care of the man bun, you know, running around, you know? And I was like, “Oh man, I’m out.” But then when I wasn’t out, hanging out, doing all that other stuff, I was at home. And I was just kind of lying there.

I’d do what I needed to do to be able to pay the bills and then, honestly, it’s really hard for me to say. I wasn’t as present as I should have been during his time with me because I wasn’t acknowledging the fact. Give me a cry. Yeah, I was in the house in the back.

I was in a state of depression because I hadn’t lived in the world in a while, and I didn’t have to worry about money. I had to go through those where I did not have them. I was out. I’d put myself in that position because my perception of everyone else’s perception was driving me crazy.

I had no clue, and this is what drives most because they have no clue what their perception is, but most of us have to try to perceive that, and so I was like, oh well, they’re all holding me. I’m Josh Whitley. Yeah, I ran 10 different companies, 678 figures. When I did this, I was a person that everyone came for.

I went to a couple of friends and attacked my first, sending a text that said, “Hey, I’m having issues going through this, and I just laid it out,” and the responses were, “We know we’ve been waiting for you, we got you.”

The next day, dude, my life started getting better I released that weight that I was holding on my chest, and it started shifting. It didn’t happen overnight There was time and energy, and not until I met my wife, now that I’m my girlfriend and went through some other stuff, but it was a shift, and that’s what was going on. That reset in my life what I was trying to find by doing. Deep diving into my soul, understanding all the other stuff, doing ayahuasca, and all these other things, was truly this understanding from my people that I held as friends. So, I took, you know, like, and then once I released it from me, I could love myself again.

Yeah, not A lot of people, though, will admit that you have to get yourself to the point where you have a complete breakdown of yourself to rebuild yourself stronger.

And because what ends up happening is, I think we have these misconceptions about ourselves, and we build around those misconceptions. But that foundation is very rocky. I mean, there is no solidity in there like that. It’s not stable. So, what’s going to happen eventually? It’s going to fall apart. But it’s OK to fall apart because once you fall apart, you can reassemble yourself. Because you now have history, lessons, and a past in which you know what happened,

Let’s not go down that road again, because that sucked, right? And honestly, I think once you break yourself down and you rebuild yourself, you’re stronger, wiser, and better than you’ve ever been.

100%. As long as you acknowledge it and you don’t try and go, “Oh, that was something and then you kind of move on,” right? I mean, like you, you don’t forget your past You just don’t let it control you, I think.

That’s the big shot.

But they finally define you, and people use that word all the time, which makes me laugh. Don’t let it define you. It’s like, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we’re going to get over that word eventually. I hope so.

We’re here because of what we had in our past, right? I mean, that did make it with people. You can change anything. Yeah, there is a lot of hardship, but like, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t be helping people. I wouldn’t have the love of my life as my business partner. Or I wouldn’t have amazing kids, like all these things I would not have that I truly love in my life. So no, I’d go through all this *** again and honestly.

Some of my stuff was probably first-world ****, right? Because, like, people go, “Go like that was your thing. 

Oh my God, it’s not like the youngest son.

It was hard for you, so let me tell you what I went through.

You have no idea what a heart is.

Yeah, Oh yeah, that’s funny.

Yeah, what?

What kills me is that there are examples of this stuff all over, but there’s some gap there where we have a heck of a time applying it to us. You know, I went to boot camp. That’s what they do They break everyone down. They take you down to a bare basic level and build you back up into a team This happens in sports all over the place.

It even happens every time I have tacos. Look, tacos fall apart, but I don’t love them any less. I simply lay down another tortilla and, as it falls apart, boom, another taco. And I am well aware that this is the case.

You know, that is just a joke, right?

I love it.

But it’s that true. We don’t have a problem going through this stuff in the military or sports teams or any other facet like this. We don’t hate tacos for falling apart, but somehow, we feel that we do it. We feel that it’s not.

OK, then the reason that this show is here and the reason that we ask you about those things that are hard to talk about is because of what we see on social media.

We just see the, you know, the nice poses and the big smiles and the right lighting to make your muscles pop and the gym and all this stuff. And here’s the deal. It was a ******* disaster.

A lot of the time, it’s hard It’s lonely. If you’re poor, you’ve got poor people’s problems. If you’re middle class, you’ve got middle-class problems. If you’re rich, you’ve got rich people’s problems. You’ve got to try to

You accumulated all this stuff Now you have to figure out how to keep it, right? You know, at every level, at every stage, no matter what you’re doing.

It’s hard. You’re on the hamster wheel where you go earn money all week and then you try to blow it all on the weekend with something that you drink, snort, smoke, gamble, whatever your passion, your man bun, apparently whatever you’re putting that money into. Everyone goes through that.

It’s some variety It looks a little bit like this summer, a little bit more socially acceptable than others, right? Oh, I have a real problem. I have to go to the gym every day, right? That’s a real problem for some people. That creates real relationship problems It creates it. It doesn’t look bad, right?

It looks great to go to the gym every day. Still, addictive behavior can cause problems, and that’s the main reason for this show is to talk about that stuff, but you were able to get through that, Josh. You were able to get through the valley of the shadow of man buns and make it through to the other side.

Man, buns, and beans.

Man buns, buns, and buns and beads.

Oh, I’m sure with the title and then in command button beans need to

That’s going to be the quote So what would you tell someone listening to this right now who could maybe use some encouragement? They idolize you as the dopamine dealer. Or God forbid, I don’t know how they would still Remember when you used to spend time on Facebook?

And they have you on this pedestal up here What would you tell him to say that you’re a real person? How would you encourage them to live their authentic life, to be their Titan?

Yeah, I mean, it’s a good question. Travis Homme

You know, I do this as often as possible to try and, you know, think about what? I would want someone to have said First off, you’re not alone.

I think that’s the biggest thing that most of us as we go through this life is that social media does this and we do it to ourselves as we, you know, put ourselves in these silos that it’s all on us and no one else is experiencing the things that we’re experiencing.

There are other people like you who are going through the same thing. Other people are going through it. They all have the same struggles, and if you just allow them to be able to understand, no one can help you until you allow them in. If you don’t tell someone how they know to be able to help you, right?

And in this world that we live in, most people are too scared to be able to say anything to someone. Go ahead and try and pull them out without them asking for something, you know, to wave their hands. Hey, I’m drowning.

You know, and that shouldn’t always be the case before you’re drowning. Allow people to understand that you’re treading water, right? And because there are so many amazing human beings in this world, especially those listening now, that are like, “Hey, I got you.  

One of the biggest shifts in my life. That was when my wife now told me that we were when I was going through that whole reset Travis. I was trying to build back up and build my company to go through and she was before we got married.

She was living in Seattle, and it takes me a second to process because it just kind of gets into me. She was living in Seattle, and she was going to move here to Austin, and she was walking away from a career at Microsoft.

She had been asked to be the executive comms for one of the VPs, which is like the super ladder up to the, you know, corporate level at Microsoft, and she turned it down and chose me, and right before that, I had a tough month.

He was struggling to pay the rent at my house, and I told her. I said I don’t know if we should move here because I did let my ego get in the way. And just like, what’s going on? I feel I’ve made this choice. What’s happening? That ego stepped in. I was like, “I can’t let her know.” I don’t want to put her in a bad situation. She’s going to move here and realize I can’t afford **** and, you know, see behind the facade of what I’m trying to do.

And I just opened up and I told her, and she went off. I got you. And truly, I had never really felt that way before. Because then she goes. If I was, if I was struggling, as you, as a man in our society, and I said, “Hey, I need help. You as a man would go. I got you. Why can’t a woman do that for a man?

And I don’t really, truly understand if I truly knew what love was until that moment.

It was truly defined for me, and I felt it and I felt the love that I had given out to others but never really felt. I got it returned, and it was a little shifted. So, I mean, that’s the whole piece, right?

That’s what I want. People understand that you make yourself alone unless you tell someone. I could have changed the entire trajectory of my life. From that moment, if I had let my ego take over and said, “Don’t move here, you know, there’s something else going on.” I was honest.

I was wrong. It was real. And it’s been the best decision and best opportunity in my life to be with my soulmate. Wow, that was pretty powerful.

I mean,

Sometimes these things happen for a reason, right? And I love the fact that you accept it. She would allow you to know. You would allow her to step in and help you and hold you up. Because that’s what relationships are about; holding each other up, and it’s not about money; it’s not about any of those things, and we do cause the biggest problem.

So, take a look at what you’ve got. from just taking a chance, right?

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, look, I wouldn’t be on this podcast here with y’all today more than likely in the same capacity without that moment, without that opportunity that I created of vulnerability, right? And coming in, because before where a lot of my problems came in were the things that I was taught, you know, at this rule, in the boulder up the hill, right, it’s all on your shoulders, being able to go through right, being able to do this whole aspect and.

What exactly are you saying? The burden is on your shoulders.

Yeah, right. And that causes

Shoulders, yeah, I’m you.

A lot of those problems are now.

Yeah, I think it’s unfair to say that the weight belongs on men’s shoulders, right?

And maybe women are at fault, too, because there are a lot of women, and please do not come after me for saying this. 

Do you want Carol’s home phone number? I’m going to have it in the show notes.

He’s in the show notes.

She is mad.

I’m going to get a lot of pity from women, but anyway. I am a very firm believer in making it for yourself and not leaning on a man to support you. And I think we lose ourselves when we lean on men to support us because we give our power, innocence, and worth away to a man. Everything relies on what he’s willing and able to provide. And if you are married to a ****** man, then what ends up happening? You hate your life, and you now have zero skills to go to work, right? So, I believe it is important for women to have a strong sense of self-worth. You can go out and do it on your own, and you will know when you get into a relationship. You feel empowered. You don’t have to be in that relationship because you need to be financially stable or be taken care of, right? You can go into that relationship because you love that person.

Yes, I will tell you about me.

So, please do not hate me over coffee.

My wife would be cheering you on right now.

What’s your wife’s name? Josh

Rachel would completely agree with Yacula. No, I. I don’t need it. I hate it. I don’t need No, man, I do.

You don’t need this guy.

Well, listen, I hate talking out like that because the majority of the women that I say it to get offended. And, you know, when they find out that I have my own home, that I did all of these things on my own,

Either they feel very insecure about themselves or whatever, but I get that I am the evil one. I’m not their friend, but

Well, your choices are not their choices. And marriage, if it’s 50/50, is never going to work.

If both parties are half-assing it, it has to be full in all the way You made a great point about being able to make it yourself and not relying on having that as a crutch or a reason to stay together in a shitty situation.

Josh brought up the fact that Rachel came down and swooped in and helped save him and encouraged and supported him.

It’s so endearing.

Or, yeah, my wife. She understood from the very beginning what she wanted for her life. She desired the traditional role where I did the work. She stayed with the kids. She desired that and she helped support me along the way and never talked about me behind my back or said, “Oh my turn wasn’t doing this, she never did that. She never talked back. The gals got together, and some complained about their husbands. She never did that.

And when I say, like, hey, you know, these options are coming up for my career, she always says, “Whatever is best for your career, that’s what we’re going to do.” She understood. To support me in that aspect, we’ve got three fantastic stories and examples of different ways to create a solid household, and I think it’s awesome that there’s not just one way to do it.

You know, and Travis and Carol, I love this conversation because so many podcasts I get on are always like, “Well tell me how we leverage LinkedIn and how you build your business and how to be able to go through but Oh **** I’m not interested in that. 

I’m interested in the person you

It’s a safe bet. I always say, bet. I will bet on a person 100% of the time. Ideas come and go, but the right person can stand the test of time, and I will always bet on a human.

And that’s the entire piece of why we’re all here, right? We need to remember. For that, on and offline, everyone is human. We just forget to be that way.

And I think the world runs so quickly these days that it’s like at lightning speed and everybody is getting these tiny little tidbits. And it’s like, “Whom do I need to know? And what about them? And how can they benefit me? And the truth is, you just missed the whole picture, right?

You missed the fact that we’re humans. We’re meant to be here to connect with other humans.

And connection doesn’t mean, like, hey, hey, Josh. How’s it going? Uh, yeah. So, you want to get together, you know, really quickly? No, it’s about building actual connections where you spend time together.

It’s not just that you have coffee together. You spend time together. Your family spends time together. You know and you have real conversations, not superficial ******** conversations.

Oh, hey, can I? Uh? That’s perfect. Can I buy you a burger? Taking lunch? Pick your brain. Oh ah, cringe, cringe. so gross. 

Those are always fun. No, it’s funny because, in that business rule, people do that, and when they do that, they’re not showing up, because if you’re looking for that free information, what is the value of it?

There’s no value in it, and they don’t usually act. I’m not trying to shift on the business side, but one of the things I did was, so you want to buy me a cup of coffee? Awesome charges $1000. There’s $1000 for a cup of coffee because, like, truthfully, if I want someone to be able to show up, I’ll dig a ******* ditch.

Oh my God.

For 1000 bucks an hour, right? So, I’m showing up, I’m excited, and they’re paying $1000 to sit down with me. They’re showing up too. And how are diamonds formed, right? Two opposing forces come together. Does this equal energy? Did we create something amazing at the end? I was like, “Look, I didn’t give you value; we didn’t add value to each other.” Like, dude, I’ll give you your money back.

But, like, ******* show up because I’m sick of like you said, hey, let’s go pick your brain or hey, you want to grab a cup of coffee? Not really. I mean, unless we’re going to have some fun or like, we’re going to talk some real **** here. If you’re just looking to get some free advice that you’re not going to take action on, guess what? It’s an amazing site. It’s called Google. It’s free for everybody, but if you’re just a browser, if you’re a collector, go there Yeah, I promise you, for information on that website, you will contact me.

And please don’t waste my time because my time is valuable. And by the way, that is the only commodity that you can never get more of. So, when you waste 1/2 an hour to an hour of my time,

Who knows, I might want to spend that time with my girlfriend on the phone, helping her through a tough situation, but instead you wasted that hour I could have spent with her.

I want to work with Break them up for me I want to work with action takers, people that take action on the information they get right.

Yeah, but that’s a problem with the information where you get it over coffee, right? They treat it like it’s cheap. It’s discounted because he paid you. At worst, if you get a cappuccino or latte, maybe 6 bucks, right? OK, so your advice is worth that $6. Do you think he’s going to take it?

because it was only six bucks.

Yeah, well, we’re trained that way, right? I mean, like Travis? Tell me, like, if you don’t watch TV, fine.

Just like, “Dude, Josh. I mean, I don’t. I don’t watch. Did that ever happen to either of you?

You guys, that happens.

Man fuck tThere’s too much, right?

Yeah, for sure.

We have information overload. The content isn’t

Oh, OK. No, Josh. So, my idea is to say nothing so we can Who’s lying here? Get busy then.

Places. That’s all. That’s what? I’m working on

My thing is, I’m perfectly good at wasting my own time. I don’t need anyone else’s help wasting my time. I drove. I’m in Oklahoma City. I drove to Dallas for lunch. It’s three hours. I drove for lunch to go meet abundant people. They want to have real conversations with me that I want to build things with, and we give each other value. I’ll do that while having lunch across the street.

Eat for coffee or lunch, as I did. Someone in town in Oklahoma City has a nonprofit.

They created a studio. I was like, “That’s so cool. I would love to come and talk and share some of the stuff that I do, and I know she was so excited to talk to me, but she said, “I can’t wait to pick your brain three times during the conversation,” and I told her I was like, “hey, I’m happy to come down there. And do this but know that when you say that phrase to someone, that’s what we do, consulting and whatever else.

Like, that’s an offensive phrase I know you’re not seeing this on purpose. I know I’m not trying to shift the conversation, but like, say I can’t wait to learn from a legend. Like, I’m so excited to meet you. I’m so excited to build a relationship. When you use the phrase “pick your brain,” it sounds like I’m just some cheap disposable container holding information. You just want to scoop it out, eat it, and then move on to the next thing in your life. This is the right I don’t know if it’s just me. I feel that way when I hear

Now we all feel

The term “pick your brain” just cringes.

I win.

I just cringe. It’s just the sounds. I would rather be getting paid for sex than treated with, you know, my knowledge and information. Do you know? What do I mean?

There’s nothing wrong with that; I’m just saying.

I would feel less used. At least I would get something out of it. Do you know what I mean?

Of course, Travis had to go there.

But that’s my coping mechanism: to crack jokes about something serious. I’ve done it at least five times during this episode.

Now you’re driving to Dallas. I mean, Allison is only three more hours away. I mean, like, don’t be cheap. You know, drive the extra 3 hours.

See me? Well, tell you what? We’ll do a fair exchange. I’ll drive 3 to Dallas, and you can drive 3 to Dallas. And then we’re there, like, when we’re there, I think Carol is flying into Seattle.

That, oh, there you go.

There you go. You can, you can. Meanwhile, hunt for his man bun and beads and say hey, I’d like to take a picture with this. It’s OK.

You know, I went through another one of those.

That’s OK. We’ve all gone through those periods where we’re going Oh my God, what was I thinking?

It happens And I mean, that’s what happens with age. I mean, as we go through, we can look back at all those different times, right, Carol, and go, oh, what?

You don’t.

Look back and go through, but I think they ought to find this at some point that allowed us to be able to be where we are today, that we’re learning experiences in Hell. I’m having this experience, right?

So, we go through life, and I mean, that’s what life is about. It’s an experience.

It’s not to be able to sit on the sideline anymore. Look what? Look at what Travis is doing. Well, that’s amazing. Look at what Carol is doing. It’s amazing. **** who enjoys. 

Don’t try to be able to achieve that same thing.

Don’t do it. Do it right now and this week. Goats with no.

What do you? Do it here at home. It’s an adventure. Life is an adventure. Go have your adventure. Don’t try to emulate somebody else’s adventure because their journey is way different from your journey, you know? So, if you’re going to try to go down that journey, I’m going to bet you that you’re going to get to know the universe, so Bitch- slap back into your spot so Miles can come down and save you. Bitch, you’re in big trouble now that you’re back in your old church.

It’s a bitchslap universe here with Carol Carpenter. It’s a new podcast. Welcome.

Welcome to my Ted Talk.

Oh, great. I’m providing material for your Ted talk. Now I appreciate it.

Oh yeah, no, every day I soak up everything you guys just said Oh, you know, I think back and say, “What was I thinking? The problem with my memory is that I remember exactly what I was thinking when I looked at that thing. I was like You poor *** ** * ***** How about that’s the logic, because

I could remember it I remember walking through that stuff, and I was like, “Yep, I can’t believe it. 

So, I played poker last night. At a home game, when I sat next to a guy, I was looking at him. I was like, I know this dude. And he said something else, and he said something like, “Yeah, I’ve been looking at climate change, and I remember talking to someone about Darfour and all the stuff that was going on. 

So, I was like, did they play poker with you at Newcastle Casino 16 years ago? You had our four-bullet bracelet on, and who’s like? I did. He’s like, how do you remember that? I was like, “I can remember that, but I can’t remember what my poker hand was 10 seconds ago. But I can remember that interaction from 16 years ago. I don’t know. Interesting. Yeah, it’s nuts.

And people like you remember that. Oh yeah, I did. I competed in the UM Miss Crossroads Oklahoma pageant.

Last year, I was the emcee for the event, which was the inaugural event, and this year I was a judge.

I went out and I was talking to the crowd In between, I was talking to a couple of the gals that had crowns on from other competitions. This year she’s like, “I remember when he was like,” I remember you too.

You did this for your talent, and you got asked this on stage. She’s like, “How?” Do you know what I was like? I don’t know. But I do remember that stuff was like, “Congratulations this year. 

I know you didn’t win at Crossroads last year, or you’re looking forward to mentoring something.

She’s like, “Yeah, I got so much better over the last year. I did this, this, and this and, like, had that real connection with real people. I just love how that stuff is.

You would want to be remembered, and you will remember them. And I think that’s, you know, it It’s when people meet other people. I don’t think they realize, especially you, that you have this photographic memory. But most people, once you’re done, you forget. You forget their name. You forget everything they’ve said to you. So, the fact that you remember and acknowledge it,

It’s almost like validation. They exist. It’s distinct.

That changes the conversation. So, it builds a relationship because most people have conversations and that’s it.

They don’t take those conversations and build relationships because you want to create an opportunity that starts with the conversation and that creates a relationship that opens up opportunities for the rest of your life.

You can’t go from point to point and miss.

We’re too focused on being polite or waiting for our turn to respond instead of acknowledging what’s happening and saying, “Oh, I like them. They were nice when you said that you just completely cast them out of your memory because they were nice. “Nice” essentially means

Not memorable, not valuable in any way, shape or form It is a completely negative word, and people say it Oh, I like them. They were nice. What was her name? I have no idea. You immediately forget them.

I spent a couple of years as a social scientist, kind of just saying whatever I wanted to say It was my goal at one point to be remembered for anything, good or bad. I wanted to create a file on you that you could remember. And as I was a younger man, a lot of those were negative files. It’s just me being a ******* now. I try to make positive impressions on people, so when my name pops up on their phone or something like that, I’m like, “Oh yeah, Travis can’t wait to take his call. But last night, the environment, we were at the poker table, at this, at this home game. You know, a lot of joking, a lot of comments.

Flying around is enjoyable. Yeah, I got out early because I made some terrible decisions.

But I was walking away from the table and was like, “Oh, it was nice to meet you.” I was like, “It was nice playing with most of you. And the whole table erupted in laughter, and they just loved it.

Guys like I wonder whom he means. I was like, “Well, obviously, if you’re that insecure, I meant you, but for the rest of you, it was a pleasure. But now they’re going to like it the next time I see you.

That’s the guy. They’re going to know who I am immediate because of the interaction that we had. Oh, I like them. They were nice immediately.

Have real conversations. Knock people off of their hamster wheels that they’ve been on for the last six years, not putting actual thought, action, and intention into their daily life. Please brush with your non-dominant hand so you can be in the moment and be present. Dear God, don’t just do the things that you’ve always done because you’ve always done them.

It’s habitual.

People are habitual, but I kind of want to shift gears and talk. Because, yeah, what?

Yeah, we’re shifting gears. I will use my feet though. I used Was that your foot? Yeah, you left me on the pull. The clutch moved left, left, left.

Right out of a shift, right because your motorcycle girl kills you like, “What are you doing?

It’s like you don’t want it. Yeah, what is it? What exactly are you doing? I don’t know.

Here’s a manual shifter.

I don’t understand anyway, so I wanted to talk a little bit about your book. So, tell us about your book.

You know, the book made people go, “Why did you write your book? And I was like, you know, some people write it to be able to say, oh, they have a book, right? Or other people You know, to be able to have that famous, whatever it is, I mean, honestly, Carol, my book was written.

For me to be able to say all the things that I never said before that I went through, I want others to be able to understand because, you know, I lived this whole world that we were all taught to like, you know, work, life, balance. There’s no growth in balance, right? Where the balance is ******** right?

It’s about being able to integrate the different aspects that make you powerful.

So, I mean, like, I start the book by telling a story about me and Vegas making a bet at the Palms Casino on the Playboy Club, to be exact. And I was up there with a buddy of mine, right? I’m sitting there.

And I was at the height of my career, and you know, he’s like, “Oh, I just sold my company for twenty-something thousand dollars.” Whatever it was, he was like, “Hey, I’ll sell you the source code. You want to go and we’re sitting there, we’re playing poker, you know, Travis knows what I’m talking about, where we’re guys, we’re measuring who’s biggest, you know, as we lay down.

We will bet that he’ll be like, “Man, I’ll sell you this for 1.3. And he’s like, it’s a steal now No due diligence, no nothing. And I’m like, yeah. I was like, “Sure, yeah, let’s do it. I’m a handshake, uh, again, Southern guy, well, handshakes kind of going through there, being able to trust someone that $1.3 million back costs me $10 million or the next year because I didn’t do the due diligence, didn’t go through, and I was too much of a, you know, as we were sitting at the table, to be able to go through and go back on something.

But I go and it’s just That’s how I wanted people to understand. Like, look. There is a split. Second, decisions that we make in this life sometimes Maybe you should have had a second more to think about it, right? You don’t let your ego get in the way, and that’s what that entire book was.

Well, I think you got caught up in the moment as well. I mean,

He did.

Being caught up in the moment of that whole adrenaline rush, right? What caused you to make that decision?

But I mean all those different aspects leading up to that, leading up to the book, leading up to the reset in my life, outside-looking, Amber said I was successful, but everyone based their success off of monetary value, as we mentioned earlier in the conversation. But truthfully, what I felt was that my relationships were being monitored.

My health was not there. I had no idea where I was going because I was new and everything was not working or playing properly. I was out playing all the time, working, flying over like all the other crap, drugs, everything, and it just made me unhappy. It was miserable.

That is not something to be happy and successful about. So, I mean, that book was about some of the decisions, some of the things. And what I did to be able to do so to make the shifts in my life. To be able to be on the other side of that, to be able to get on it, to be able to make relationships important, to be able to make my health important, to be able to make a vision about where I was going, because all that, if you don’t have that base of whom You are a human being Trying to build a company, trying to build a vision, trying to be able to, you know, make money That aspect, it’s the wrong way to be able to do it.

So that’s what the book was about. ‘ Look, here’s my life and hopefully, someone can use it as a release. I hope the book was really for even one person, and I’ve probably given away more copies. I’m sold. I did release the book too. I was going through my depression, so Don’t do that, they pay attention when you’re doing a release because you know you’re trying to go through these old things, but well, by the way…

The process of writing a book is very cathartic.

If you were struggling with anything, it forced you to face a lot of those dark corners and a lot of those boxes that you put away. And you open them up. You have to get through it. You need to open them.

Can’t get to the next? step without opening boxes that you wanted to set fire to two years ago, right? But it is such a healing process in the meantime, and I think there’s a reason.

When you write that book, you go through that healing process because it allows you to transform, it allows you to evolve, it allows you to become the person that you want to be, because now you have taken the spotlight, shone it into that dark corner, and there are no more dark corners.

Record yourself.

There’s no more guilt and there’s no more shame. There’s still going to be some doubt, but.

Who would you?

Now, who doesn’t have a doubt?

What is the decision? Whom would you be? What decision would you make if there was no guilt or shame associated? What would you do with it? What would the real decision be? And when you start to do that, some people are like, “In a way, Travis gets guilt and shame.” They are my game. That’s the only way I make decisions. Surreal things happen to moms out there. What would you do if there wasn’t any guilt attached to the decision? You needed to make

Yeah, but it causes so much pain in your life that you can’t overcome it. You have to face it, you know?

It’s called a cactus. It’s the holy cactus.

You’re in pain anyway, and you start to Google, and it all hurts.

Bring it in closer.

But it’s not till you decide to let go of the cactus that you can start healing the pain there, whether you make that decision or not Is that bigger? babysit

But you know Everyone knows that the right terms, I mean, like the pain, you know, is easier than paying. You don’t write. We hear this all the time. People go like, “I’d rather you know that it’s easier because I already know that pain right now.” But what could the pain be that I’ve never experienced? I’m not going to go into that, but I want to tell you One of the best things I did was to be 100% myself, on and off the internet, and to apologize.

Love me or hate me, because I know that in this world as human beings, we all make decisions based on some degree of love or hate We do not make decisions towards people if they are indifferent. If they’re not around, they’re not doing anything. That’s just wasting time. If you are going to be indifferent in this world, you’re not only wasting your own time, but you’re also wasting everyone else’s around you. So, realize that and be able to make that change. Look, if you’re polarizing, that means you’re probably living at war with your true self. Then you know, most people are.

Yeah, not everyone is going to like me. I know for sure. Not everyone likes Carol.

Oh, my goodness.

No, they don’t like you, they love you.

Did we just? 

Come on. Did you think I had some kind of negative? Oh, he’s I think you think I’m.

He’s stepping up. It’s back now.

Backpedalling, no. I know for 100% certainty that I’m in. I’m the villain in somebody’s story. I know there’s someone out there with a lipstick list on the wall that they’re going to come to get me one day because I’m responsible for all their problems.

Who has us?

Yeah, because you called.

And that’s what we all do there the proof of the pudding is in the eating.

You know, I think the people that don’t want to hear it, and you’re their villain. You told them the truth that they didn’t want to hear.

For me? For me, yeah, yeah, you’re probably telling a lot of stories about all these problems that you’re having with the common denominator being you. You’re making terrible decisions.

I cannot believe I cannot help, but no, no, you don’t understand. You just don’t. I can’t believe Travis would tell me that stuff. If you’re listening to this right now and you’re not watching the video, you’re robbing yourself of the joy of all of our facial expressions and interactions and, like, guiltily writing names on walls. You’ve got the OS and the video.

I think most of them are just from you, Travis. You’ve been shifting and writing and killing. I’m just sitting here typing.

Well, you know who would be an awesome Travis?

It’s just me. If you want to see me crazy on screen, then you’ve got to watch the video.

The stipulation?

This has been fun, yeah. I mean, again, I truly believe a nice lap is to be with another. Just be good human beings and just be a bit like, “Look, this is the ****.” This is what’s going on. I don’t think the average person gets that regularly. I mean, like, this is what we should be asking everyone to do, like, look at us, reach us, hang out, and just let your **** let your freak flag fly, right? You know, whatever it is.

With man bun, beads and everything, just let it all go.

I dropped that way too early in the interview

You did, and that’s well. Let’s see, now you know for the future, it’s your damn fault and I’ll never let you get away with it. Away with it.

I will text you a picture just so you can have it drive us afterward if you like.

Oh, I want one, Joshua.

Yeah, yeah, you got it.

I want one too.

I require assistance.

Well, you know, OK, I got, I’ve got one last story. Before or after that, I did the judge thing for Miss Crossroads. Oklahoma is fantastic. The girl that I thought was going to win the whole thing ended up winning. whole thing. Alyssa Pain Congratulations on being named Miss Crossroads.

She told a story. One of hers is, like, fun. The facts are that she was terrified of zebras. And then we like, we like, we see this thing, and we’re like, all right, we got another story. She was about three years old when her mother took her to the zoo.

There were a bunch of students there. She took this nice photo, right? A great photo with her by the zebra. And as soon as they put the camera down, the zebra grabbed her like a clamp down on her arm and started dragging her, and thankfully, you know, yeah, shocked faces, right?

I let go a few moments later, and my reply was, “You mean you were that lovable, that early, that the zebra just had to have you.” She’s like, “That’s a heck of a way to look at it. 

Oh no.

And then I sent her congratulations on Instagram. She sent me a picture of the zebra. The zebra picture Uh, in an Instagram message. So, I got that little, you know, she’s like, “This is the zebra. 

So, I’m looking forward to adding that picture of you in a man bun next to the terrifying zebra picture.

Well, you.

You also have to tell him about the song you have for people, and maybe we should make his call name

We all have a wall.

Right.

Oh, buns and beads.

Burns and beads

Yeah, I’ve got, I’ve got a call sign. I flew for the Navy for several years, right? So, I got a call sign. Carol’s story: Taco John, or as Carol likes to call me, Pit Bich. It says she received She got married; she went on a safari, and then she got caught peeing under a giraffe. She’s kind of backed up in the darkness, and they’ve shown a big light she was under.

A giraffe. Carol, Carol. I peed under a giraffe.

So, she’s a pug.

Yeah, I’ll get it. So, he refers to me as PUG.

And now you’re seriously scared of giraffes? I mean, get it.

It’s no, I’m not. I’m not afraid of giraffes at all.

Everyone in the show is given a call sign. Everybody gets a call sign, so we’ll just call him Josh BAB.

Buns and bees, so.

Right, tabs.

It was there.

Wasn’t there a TV show called Babs? Or something like that.

I don’t know.

Now, my ****** *******, I like that.

Hey, there you go. That’s that is Carol, the next brand right there?

Like, Chris is like, OK, wait a minute, I might want that back now.

You can’t have it.

So, hey Josh, before we let you go, we’ll give you a chance to give a final piece of advice on how you would like to connect with people or like where they can get your book or whatever you want to say.

We’ve said so much throughout this entire episode. I mean, like really sharing everything from family to life to career to all these different aspects. The biggest thing I want everyone to understand is, you know, don’t forget the UN human rights. I think this is the biggest thing that most of us forget about because we’re like, “Oh, I’ve got to be human, but you forgot about it.”

It starts with that, and that’s where everyone needs to understand how to do that themselves first because you can’t pour from an empty cup as you go through. So how are you starting your day? How are you going? With your life, how are you shifting this? Because so many of us, I mean, I just had a conversation today that I find myself having even now, knowing the things that I do. I still find myself, on occasion, often, probably more often than not, wearing every cut. And I have to be able to have that self-love for myself first to be able to give it to others.

So that’s the one thing I want everyone to remember, right? It starts with you and everybody connecting with me. I mean you, Travis, I would say for me, surprise, surprise, I live and breathe on LinkedIn, being able to go in there. I love it when someone connects with me on LinkedIn, and then the best thing about it is if they disomy that connection. Plus, I’m not playing Pokémon, right?

I’m not trying to collect them all and trying to go with a whole bunch of different, you know, connections. That’s what people do on LinkedIn. Send me a message on why you love Travis and Carol, or a funny story you heard them tell, so I can go back to y’all and go, “Dude, look at all these crazy stories I got from your audience on LinkedIn. And then we get to have a better relationship. I’ve had more conversations, so that’s the best way to be able to see it. Josh’s name will be Lee, from LinkedIn. We’ll have some time.

Take us home, Carol.

All right, well, thank you for joining us today. Joshua, and uh, thank you all for joining us here today. Our audience will continue to get to know successful entrepreneurs; what got them to where they are; the adversities they’ve overcome; and allow us to reveal what motivates them.