A Gun in her Back, Embezzlement, and Pre-Med with Carol Carpenter

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Today, our co-host Carol shares her experience of being a Chinese-American child growing up, caring for her mother, and adjusting to life following her mother’s death. Carol recounts her experience in starting over at age 40 after going through three unhealthful relationships.

Highlights:

{01:12} What makes Carol a Titan

{05:27} Family dynamic as an American-born Chinese

{18:34} Life after her mother’s passing

{22:00} Abusive relationship 

{31:10} Cheating relationship

{34:17} Marriage and Divorce

{40:43} Starting over 

{45:59} Finding joy with Motor Vixens

{56:30} Another difficult relationship

{1:04:42} Advice for other people

{1:10:59} Life today for Carol

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Carol Carpenter Bio

In 2011 successful entrepreneur, model, actress, and motorcycle/race enthusiast; Carol Carpenter found herself at a crossroads. Although she had achieved success in many fields and ventures, she found herself feeling somewhat unhappy and unfulfilled. Realizing that it was never too late to follow her dreams, Carol decided to leave her comfort zone and venture into the unknown in pursuit of her passion. As a result, in 2012 MotoVixens was founded. This new and fresh enterprise would serve as a resource for motorcycle and racing enthusiasts which would ultimately prove to be a catapult for Carol to inspire women and riders across the globe. ​

As a female rider, Carol was constantly faced with unique challenges and she consistently sought out ways to tear down paradigms in the sport while overcoming limiting beliefs. This was so riders and enthusiasts could completely focus on the enjoyment of the experience. Carol immediately started developing relationships with dealerships, manufacturers, as well as local businesses and it, suddenly became clear to her that others, not just women, could benefit from collaborating together without initial knowledge of the sport. Through collaboration and building lasting relationships, those involved could further promote and grow their businesses with success.

In 2013, MotoVixens collaborated with Ducati Bellevue to host track days with a dedicated session for women riders which was met with great success. In order to expand their reach, MotoVixens began their own track days in 2014 with the goal of hiring elite coaches. This fundamental change would allow men, women, and young riders the opportunity to learn from the best in the industry at their local tracks allowing riders to pursue their passion without having the added expense of traveling and renting equipment. In 2015, MotoVixens partnered with Jason Pridmore of JP43 Training. This world-renowned racer, having won multiple championships is respected within the industry as the riding coach. Jason also serves as the current announcer for MotoAmerica. MotoVixens special events include Jason’s current MotoAmerica riders as coaches which provide the ultimate learning experience.​

Today, Carol has become an influential figure in the motorcycle industry and focuses her time on giving back to the sport she holds so close to her heart. Through sponsorship, she continues to help riders, racers, and others to find their passion and to fulfill their dreams.

Connect with Carol:

inquiries@motovixens

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Full Transcript

Hey, welcome back to the show. I have a very special guest today. Carol Carpenter is the CEO of Moto Vixens and Iron Dog Media. She’s an actress. She’s a stunt driver, but you might know her as my co-host. On the Titan Evolution. Podcast Carol, how are you doing today?

I’m fantastic. How about you, Travis?

Oh, you know me, I’m doing fabulous. We were just chatting before we got started here that I’m having like a bad hair day. So, if you’re watching the video, it looks like my hair’s there in person. It’s great for some reason in the video. It looks terrible, but

I don’t even like to talk about your hair. OK, because girls have to go through so much more than guys, they go and take their shower, and hop out all good. Don’t be jealous of how easy my hair is.

I am jealous.

Are you jealous?

I don’t even know how long this stuff is. It’s just crazy. It’s a crazy time, but we’re not here to talk about my hair, even though it probably could have its podcast series. We’re here to talk about you and how amazing you are. And you already know what the first question is, Carol.

Oh, Carol What makes you a Titan?

Uh, probably my ability to just create and find opportunities, you know, find those. There are gaps and needs.

People need and want someone to help them. Through it all, well, a lot of it.

People can do that right, but they usually just have the idea, and they don’t have any drive to do it and get it done, or they might start.

We have to say yes.

something, but you’re a finisher.

Yeah, I’m closer. I don’t like to start things I can’t finish, and I don’t like to play games.

That I’ll lose.

Yeah, I did.

As soon as you say that you’re a closer, my mind just jumps all over the place. It jumped off that it was like a boss baby, and he’s like, cookies are for a closer, and he’s like making the cookies away from the other baby because it’s hilarious.

Oh crap. No, he got closer, not a clue.

You know, I am so glad. This is way off-topic, but I’m so glad I like Disney, Pixar, and DreamWorks. They all created cartoons that are not only good for kids, but they’re fun for adults too. To listen to something

That was my saving grace when my children were sick. Because they were growing up, there were times when they were a lot younger and we went to the movies and I was like, “Please just stick, you know, toothpicks in my eyes and put me out of my misery.” Now, this is awful, but when they started making these great movies like Toy Story, I think my son had that thing on a loop forever.

I just remember it like that, so if you listen to that, you don’t have kids, you don’t know what we’re talking about. A kid will find the movie and latch onto that thing, and you will watch it 75 times, and that’s not inflated. Number 75 is it’s like it’s on all day. It’s on repeat. You’re watching it. There’s nothing you can do. But thanks to some of our advanced moviemaking techniques and scriptwriters, they’ve got little Easter eggs for the adults in there to enjoy, so it’s not completely terrible like Shrek.

Shrek is kind. I’ll explain, but if you’re not an adult, you don’t understand; you’re just like, “Oh, that’s funny,” and you have no idea why it’s funny. And then you’re watching this as an adult and you’re like, “Oh man, this is pretty edgy stuff.”

Yeah, I love it. I love the fact that they’ve incorporated a little bit of that adult humor so that you know we’re not bored senseless, and the kids can enjoy it. We can enjoy it. They have no idea why we’re laughing at them. The weirdest times, but I’m cool with that.

Mom, you’re just so weird. I don’t understand why you’re laughing. I can’t tell you right now, but I’ll tell you when you’re older, or you’ll figure it out.

How about in like 15 years? I’ll let you know.

Oh my God. I’ve gone back like I’ve made a conscious effort to last a year and a half or so to go back. and watch some old movies as if I were in Bahrain. I started watching all the Westerns.

I had never really watched Westerns growing up. It wasn’t my thing; it wasn’t available, or whatever it was, or it was rated too risky for me when I was a kid. And I was like, you know, I don’t know. So, I went back and watched all the Clint Eastwood spaghetti westerns, so I went back and watched them all.

This is like “dirty Harry,” as if I went back in time. I was like, “These are great.” You’re cool. Yeah, absolutely. But you’re the guest today. So, we have to talk about you and all your fascinating stories. We talked about your Titan. What did it take to get there? I know you’re American-born Chinese or Taiwanese, depending on which flag you follow.

Well, here’s the thing. It’s simpler to tell people I’m an American-born Chinese person. They can connect with the Chinese part more easily if I throw in the time we need. Sometimes people get really confused. Like, isn’t that? So, it’s like, yeah, it is technically, but you know.

I do the same thing. I do it when I say I fly. Maybe people will say, “Oh, you’re a pilot.I’m not a pilot. I’ve never been a pilot, but if the conversation doesn’t hinge on knowing what I did, I just kind of let it ride.

Yeah, yeah, because I

I think the conversation ends up going someplace you don’t want it to go, and it’s just that it’s easier to say American-born Chinese.

Yeah, I guess. Yes, you know your ABCs are your American-born Chinese. Tell us about, like, what that means. Like, what is your family dynamic? I know it’s not the same for everybody, but you know that culture? As far as I understand, they prized males, and you were the firstborn, and you were not a male.

Yeah, I’m not a male.

Well, you’ve got to ask. It’s 2022. I don’t know if I can’t. I can assume that everything is right.

Yes, so I was the eldest.

So, both of my parents are Taiwanese. My dad is very traditional. Males are preferred in Chinese culture because they continue the family line.

I mean, they want a lineage. In my dad’s case, you follow, but it’s a really interesting dynamic because he has a bunch of brothers, and they all have children. So, it’s not like the lead line will ever die, right? But in my dad’s case, he wanted specifically his line, right? So, he had my brother, who is 18 months old and younger than me. He was looking for my brother to bear a son because, you know, that’s how he wanted his bloodline to continue. But I was born, my dad was in, and he came to the States. And I was born in the USA. I don’t know if I was conceived here, but I know I was born here.

Are you an anchor baby, Carol?

Is that how it goes? I’m not sure. I think about that, and there’s been talk about the fact that I was only allowed to survive because I was born in the US and Taiwan. You know, it was it.

It’s not spoken of, but it’s common practice. They give the babies up, whether they give them up for adoption or whatever. They get rid of the girls because they want the first ones in the lineage to be male. They want the eldest to be a male to anchor the family.

He couldn’t get rid of me.

Well, I don’t know why he would want it.

I believe all of our fans agree that you’re pretty.

Oh well, my father. He didn’t think I was awesome; I was a constant thorn in his side. I was a reminder to him all the time as I was growing up, and as you can imagine, if you’re a reminder of anything negative for anyone, you know it. I became his punching bag in it, emotionally speaking, not speaking. But you know, I know, right?

You can never tell. Yeah, so you were born in Los Angeles, is that right?

Yes, sir.

Yeah, so true, I thought.

I was brought up in LA. I’m from like Buxton, North Northern Minnesota, so it’s like being born in a major city as a person. Being born and raised in the countryside is a much different lifestyle. right well. Even though I was born here, my dad was an engineer with contracts throughout the US. So, we traveled a lot and did a lot of military stuff. So, depending on his contract and his projects, I’ve lived almost every year on the East Coast. I’ve lived in Texas. I’ve pretty much lived in quite a few cities. If I look, we have pictures you know of. You know, when we are in school, those embarrassing pictures. And then, of course, our parents. Always put the city in the title. We lived in a variety of locations as children. It makes life interesting, that’s for sure. You don’t get to have a base and a group of friends.

You figure out quickly that you have to make friends fast because you don’t know how long you will have them.

Well, yeah, it’s one or the other, right? You make them fast, or you’re just so tired of moving that you say to yourself, “I’m not even going to try that this time,” and then you end up staying for a couple of years and wondering, “What the crap?”

No, I have to make friends, but it might be a little like you.

It’s just that it’s one of those bizarre things. We know this. You own the Moto Vixens, but you weren’t always a racetrack Galleria? What kind of path were you on? Early in life

Returning to how I grew up, we have that in our culture.

Our culture, I don’t know; overachievers, I don’t. Like, like an Asian? Asian mothers and fathers want their children to be successful. You know, lawyers, doctors. I don’t know. Some prodigies are musical prodigies, right? So, of course. We all learned the piano. That was kind of the thing that we had to do. Whatever the case may be, you have to learn some type of instrument, and I think my path was always drawn out for me, and it never occurred to me. Until you know, I’m making a change. 

Maybe this wasn’t my path because from the time I could remember being little, I was good at math and science and all that stuff, and don’t be, you know, stereotypical in what you say next, right? I had, you know, my path. It was just drawn out for me, and my mom was like, “Oh, you can be a doctor.” And I’m like, OK, so I always assumed I would be a doctor. And that’s what I studied. I took advanced courses when I was in high school, and I was in the gifted program. Do you know all that kind of stuff?

I was going to do pre-med. That was just it. It felt like that was my path. I don’t know if that was so.

I believed in it, but it felt like my path. But then my mother, you know, got sick, and when she got sick and we couldn’t, I think we went to so many specialists over so many years, and they couldn’t figure out what it was, and it was a mass. By the time we moved, we had moved to California; by then, my parents had long since divorced. But while we were there, a brand-new hospital, Hoag Hospital in Newport Beach, had just come up. It was a cancer hospital, so she saw a specialist there. And that’s when we started getting answers, you know. And we found out she had cancer, and it was terminal cancer. There was no recovery; the best we could do was

Have her go through treatment to prolong her life. But my mother got sick and, you know, became a shell of herself. So, I think there was a point in her mind where she was like,

You know, I don’t want to live like this. “This isn’t living,” is what she said. She gave up on the therapy and was just going to let it go. Just be done because we don’t have Doctor Cobb Orkin around. My mom understood why he did what he did because she was suffering, and there was no relief from the pain, right? And so, she just said, “I don’t want to live this life, and I’m tired of being on chemo.” I’m tired of feeling sick all the time. So, she ended up letting it overtake her and spread the minute she stopped taking treatment. I mean, it went everywhere. It was like a wildfire went into the lymph nodes in her brain. There were moments when I talked to her. She didn’t even know I was there or who I was. It’s a horrible place to watch her parents when you see them. So vibrant earlier in their lives, that changed me, and I was studying to be a doctor.

How old were you when this happened?

I got through most of my teenage years. She said she had cancer. I was about 19 when it came to a head about turning 20. And so, she passed away when she was 47. I was, you know, 1920 years old. At the time, it sucked. You know because you’re just embarking on your life and have no safety net.

That’s a horrible way to live and look at life for sure. And so, I knew every decision from that point on would be determined by how I succeeded. Sorry. I did. You made me cry. right?

I did it to Ira, and now I’m doing it to you.

I know Ira; he’s getting paid back; so sorry. I never meant to make him cry.

Well, I’ve been made. I didn’t mean to make you cry, but that’s kind of the point of this: to be authentic and vulnerable and talk about this stuff, and I’ll give.

You have a second to breathe here because

So, you think that you never think? That these things exist and will affect you for many years to come still surprises you, you know?

Oh, it most certainly does. I sometimes forget parts of my story because I tell my story so much.

But I usually tell specific parts of my story. I didn’t realize this until recently. I knew it years ago, but I had almost the same situation because I ended up moving in with my grandmother. She wasn’t pushing me to be a doctor and would say that. Right now, that isn’t part of my path.

Because we were still in survival mode, clawing our way into, you know, relevancy, and I moved out of my house at 16 to live with my grandmother full-time. I had spent probably half of my life living with her anyway, and I finally. I got into her place. I joined the Navy and got married, and within, I want to say, within my first two years in the Navy, 1819, and that range right there. My grandmother, who had raised me, was the foundation of my life. Excuse me, the good foundation in my life. She had suffered an aneurysm. Yeah, yeah, well, that took

That laughter came right out of your mouth, right? She had a She had an aneurysm and, uh, flew home.

For those in the No, I was on detachment in Fallon, NV, and for those in the No. That’s where they had Top Gun for a lot of years.

There wasn’t a detachment in Nevada, and I flew home on this emergency leave, and my grandma was then a shell of herself. She survived the aneurysm and lived for many years until she died. Later, I was a completely different person. She was no longer the well-put-together, rock-solid person I grew up knowing took care of me when there was no one else to take care of. 

It’s hard to watch, isn’t it?

Well, it’s almost impossible because every time you see them after that point, you’re like, “This is not.

This is not it.

That person I knew, yeah. That person I knew and the nature of my being in the military and being away. It has another, you know, an added layer of, I don’t know if it’s guilt or what, but you know, I’m not able, just simply unable to be there for her. You know, they’re not stationing many people in the Navy. In northern Minnesota, that’s just not how the Navy works. Right, there’s not a whole lot of reason for them. I could have transferred to the Coast Guard stationed in Duluth if I had been able; they’re on Lake Superior, but that wasn’t in the cards for me. So then, every time you go home, you have

I have my grandmother, who is only 40 years older than me, so I was twenty. She was 60 and deteriorating and no longer had control of most of her mental faculties. Oh gosh. Every conversation was almost over. She, like the other members, had no idea who I was. She had pictures. And that was pretty much it for the rest of her time with us. She got to be both of my kids, but my son is now 14. I’m sure he was under three, if not under two, when she passed, so I could probably do the math. I think it was 2013, so nine years ago, he was five. It just tears on you. It does. Because of all the turmoil in my life, I’m promising we’ll push it back on you here and not me talking about me.

But you, she was that person who was always there, was always willing to open her home, and held me accountable. She’s the first person that held me accountable for my **** in life. Sure, I just can’t do that. You know, she was that person that showed me that accountability is love is a huge part of love, and no matter what I was doing, she was always willing to, you know, pull the reins, and pull me back in and say, “Hey.You *** this up. You knock it off right now, and you know I haven’t. I hadn’t thought of that in such a long time. It’s hard, it’s hard when that happens to your primary caretaker, and then, as you mentioned, safety is gone, and so are you. Stay in the medical program that you were doing.

Uhm, no, I did not. I think you have a moment there where, you know, you’re so busy, and I was, you know, thinking about this. I was 20 years old, planning for her funeral, trying to sell her house, and getting it ready to sell so my brother and I could put the money in the trust fund she left us.

Because she was very specific about the timeframes in which we would receive certain amounts of money, right? Because she knew that if I shouldn’t even say a child, you’re an adult at that point.

But if you get a sum of money of any type, what do you think? You’re going to do it. You should party the hell out of yourself. Wipe yourself out with a party, right?

And in LA, it’s not hard to do, so she says. It was extremely Um, tell our attorney that this is exactly how I want it. They are ported out, and you know they have enough money to survive. and I believe

That gave her a little bit of comfort. But you know that already. ***** ** **** stole money from my mother’s university. My mother’s trust fund or our trust fund

The lawyer

And I didn’t find out about it until like a couple of years later, when I, you know, like you, had this weird feeling that I was like, “You just can’t get rid of this.” I’m trying everything I can to keep the money in there, but the amount keeps reducing, and I don’t understand. And so, I reached out to him, and I was like, hey, I’d like to see the books, but he figured I’m like this young kid. I don’t know what the saga is going on. I figured it out, and I took the paperwork to another attorney. And he looked around.

And then he walks away. How long has this been happening? I said I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. “He’s stealing from you,” he says. We need to get him off the estate. And I was like, OK, and so we faced it. If only I had been smart. But you know, there’s that part. To me, that’s like ****. We only recently got it right because my attorney was like, “We can, we can go after him.” We could have

This is something we can accomplish. We could do that, and I was just grieving. I had lost my mother, and there was so much pain there that I was like, “No karma.” I just believe in Karma. He’s a ***** ** **** for taking money from my mother that she saved her entire life to make sure we would be OK. But I figured Karma would eventually get him in the end. It’s not up to me. To do that to somebody, I think you are responsible for your actions and how you act. Help people or hurt people. If you choose to hurt people and know that if **** happens to you somewhere down the road, you deserve it. You know, that’s all I can say.

So anyway, I just had a lot of time to reflect at that point, and I didn’t want to be a doctor anymore. I spent hours and hours. In these classrooms, they were doing labs at that point. I was engaged. Yeah, I was engaged to my first fiancé, and he couldn’t keep *** **** ** his pants for his life because I was always gone.

He was impregnating people left and right, so I was. They’re leaving messages that they’re pregnant. What is the **** going on? I don’t have

I don’t know if you know this, but for them to get pregnant, certain things need to happen.

Yes, I am very well. Aware of that?

You were in medical school, right? Do you know what’s going on?

I know, I know, yeah, I know the birds and the bees, I know how babies are made. Yes, indeed, stork. Goddamn, yes, yes. So yeah, that engagement didn’t last too long. I couldn’t take it anymore for a couple of years, a year, and a half. He was a gambler, and he gambled away our rent.

So, I was not only going to school but also working, and he would take whatever money we had collected for rent. Gamble it. He gambled away, and I found out from my landlord that

Where’s your wet? and I just couldn’t take it anymore. You know, at that point, I was a medical school parent whose husband passed away and had a boyfriend that was a huge philanderer as well.

As you know, I am a gambler. I was like, “I’m out.” I can’t do this anymore.

It made me make a change. I chose to go down the business route instead of going into pre-med. I just went, “Ah, maybe I changed the business.” You know, I was working. Oh shoot, I was working for a bank then. As well, and I don’t know if you guys recall, but it’s there. I worked for a bank called Sanwa Bank, and I worked for them. I was there. I was the loan officer’s assistant, so I was happy with what I was doing at that time. I was also going to school, and everything appeared to be going swimmingly: kick, kick, dump this **** to the curb. And off to number 2, and that’s what happened. Was I actually in school? Fiancé # 2

Is fiancé # 2’s husband number one?

No, no, he was not. There was more.

This is not an indictment of your love life.

I was just curious.

No, I met him at school. He was persistent. Not my type, but extremely persistent. So you know, sometimes you get to give people a chance.

Suppose you wear him down enough. If you go deep enough, you can get it to say yes.

It’s just about anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I had a horrible experience with my first fiancé, so it was.

It sounds like it.

At that point, pretty much anything looks good. Yeah, and I don’t even think I told you, but my first fiancé held me up at gunpoint in front of the bank.

Yeah, yeah, the dude was crazy. Crazy.

What kind of drugs was he on?

Yeah, I broke up with him, and after that, he came to the bank and put a gun in my back, and my friend who was a teller at the bank was sitting in the window, and he was looking. He’s freaking out right now, and I’m looking at him, shaking my head, saying, “Don’t call it because a call from a bank is different than a call from say.”

Yeah, it’s different. It’s a different response, yeah?

Yeah, exactly, and so I was like, so I talked myself out of it with him, and I was like, “Hey, you do realize that everybody at the bank is looking at this, and if they call, it’s not just a call to the local police.”

They send everybody like you.

That’s the FBI.

Yep, the FBI is involved in everything, and I go This will be on your record forever. Are you sure you want to do this?

I don’t know. I don’t know what compelled me. To express oneself I told him to get rid of him, but he left.

Eventually, I walk through the door, and everybody is freaking out. As in, what the ****?

What happened, you know? So, we had to make a phone call to the police and the FBI and say “I had an ex who could be violent if we made a phone call. We will specify whether it’s a, you know, bank holdup or, um, my ex-boyfriend.” Yeah, that one was crazy, so anything looks better than that.

See, I think he should have called and had the FBI show up.

I know. But you have to understand that’s not the kind of person I am.

I know it’s not the kind of person you are, and that’s one of the things I love about you.

But sometimes, helping how we feel like we’re helping is enabling, and it’s not.

Yeah, we’re great.

It’s the only thing that’s helping you now.

of sorts, like the ****** *** lawyer.

Yeah, I was looking at providing

The ****** *** No, did he go on to embezzle other people’s money and create other havoc?

I’ve often wondered if I enabled him to embezzle others by simply letting him go. It does occur to me quite a bit.

I’m saying this, but I did. I did. I did nearly the same thing. I had someone in my career come after me in the military, and they tried to come after me when I was a student. And they tried to come after me when I was an instructor. I still have no idea why she was so hell-bent on getting me removed from the military. With the time I had, I did nothing. People encouraged me to file a file, uh, an official grievance, because there was something I couldn’t figure out. There was no reason. There was no logical reason why.

Maybe you look like her ex.

So, I did nothing right. I did nothing. And then I came back from the Middle East, from Bahrain, back to the same group of squadrons at Tinker Air Force Base. And I found out that she had been removed from her operations officer tour for fraternizing with some of the other younger enlisted gang or not younger commission gals and younger junior officers, and they removed her.

You know what, maybe?

They removed her. Karma came and got her.

Maybe she was targeting you to make your life harder so that she could fraternize with you.

I didn’t. It didn’t feel like it. Maybe I don’t have any ideas. I have no idea what I’m always with, but she got excommunicated.

She got John whipped out of the unit, and I guess she tried to say something on their way out the door, and then they said, OK, we’re making it official. Remarks in your file and official remarks to me indicate that she’s never been eligible for another promotion.

Oh, fantastic.

So, she went from being selected as # 1 to being the commanding officer of a squadron, which is a big deal. Take that saying, “Nope; you’re going to be # 2 now.” You’re not going to get this shot at operational command. And then she opened her mouth again, and like all right now, you’re not even going to make Commander, you’re done.

Right, we’re done.

Yours has officially ended.

It’s such an abuse of power when people are in power and use that power.

I am angry because this shows the kinds of individuals. They are right because a person could choose to use that power for good or evil, and we’re going to the extreme and talking about people that use it for the wrong reasons.

Right, well, I mean, that’s part of the superhero code, right? So, I interviewed right? On my other show, Nonprofit Architect Podcasts, Right? Jeff Gibbard’s whole speech was about how to become a superhero, right? We’re on number eight. We eventually figure out that we have superpowers. Something within us is just kind of naturally better than words, right? Yeah, everyone’s got something a little bit different. You and I are big on resilience, right? We’re big on resilience. I am asking questions.

You are speaking with confidence. I’ve had a few of them, but you find that you have a superpower. So, everyone is mild-mannered, and then you find out you have a superpower, and then you cultivate the superpower.

But then you have the fork in the road, which is the superhero code. You’re going to follow the code and become a superhero, or you won’t follow the code and become a super villain, right? So, when you quote Spiderman, “Have that power.” With great power comes great responsibility.

Man, you know, yeah.

so cliche.

Well, it’s a thing, but as you know, she got put in a position of power. and chose not to. To follow whatever code and become a super villain. I’m sure there’s someone out there right now that I’m the Supervillain in their story.

Oh, without a doubt, ultimately, how are you writing that story correctly? We must be careful how we write that because our decisions have far-reaching consequences.

They do, they do. So, fiancée number two is not husband number one.

OK, they don’t say # 2.

Uhm, pretty much inconsequential. Oh, I hope he doesn’t listen to this, yeah? Just a surfer, dude. Yeah, just super OK, so he was. I mean, he was just a surfer dude, an average-looking guy, and I don’t know any better than what fiancé number one was. I’m just like

Is he picturing a Yelp review of this guy?

Just a surfer dude, ordinary looking, pretty inconsequential. 1 1/2 and 1 star. I’m kidding. Yeah, we’re talking about this, right? right? By the way, in the book and subsequent books, we do not include their real names, so unless you knew me back then, you wouldn’t know who they are.

Yeah, yeah, of course.

OK, so then comes the kick him to the curb Jew because he cheated on me, and you want to hear that you want to hear the reason why he cheated on me.

This was an A** kid here. ‘ Because he’s a cheater, that’s why. There’s nothing to do with you.

Oh no. I was again at school and busy at school and going to. He worked right, so he had plenty of opportunities to stick *** **** where he needed to be, and he did. He took advantage of it.

And so, when I found out, and it does tell you in the book how I found it, I’m not going to go into it. But he said it, and I couldn’t help but wonder, “Why the **** would you do this?” And he went well. I’ve never dated anybody that looks like you, and it made everybody curious about how I landed you. And so, girls were coming up to him and wanting to, like, I guess, sleep with him, and I’m like, that doesn’t seem like a good enough reason. That’s right; I’m trying to picture it. The dude standing there

I’m just picturing him. I can only picture it because I can only imagine him in board shorts and a dumb expression, like Jeff Spicule from Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

Well, we probably would not be too far away from that point because he was not just a surfer dude; he was ******* high all the time, you know. And so yeah. Imagine it.

I know you got cheated on by Jeff Spicule. That’s what happened.

Oh my God. So anyway, he’s done pretty well. Much was done with men. At that point, because I had a very

OK,

There we go.

I started working for a high-tech firm and have a very busy life. And during the time I was working for the high-tech firm, my now ex-husband, who was the third engagement that I did marry,

A third engagement and they were one for three.

Yep, one for Zoom.

That’s Hall of Fame numbers in the baseball world. So, good job.

But he worked as a senior VP in our company but at a different office and was promoted and brought to corporate. And I worked in corporate, and we crossed paths back and forth all the time, and I worked for the CIA. I did everything as this personal assistant. You know, all the reports were for him, so he sent them to me, so I’d print them up. I did all those things anyway.

Were you a secretary or personal assistant?

No, I was his assistant. I did anything that was required. Then the financial portion of it.

I wanted to bring that up because I

There’s a huge part of society that talks down on secretaries.

Is it for whatever reason? But then I think of people in the US cabinet as the Secretary of the Interior and the Secretary of State. They don’t talk about those secretary jobs as being amazing.

Yeah, no, and he was great. So yeah, I’m good with numbers, so you know. Insert the reports and. That was a great time. I enjoyed it. That’s a great job for me. But that was also the time my mom passed away, and so.

So, before that, of course, I met. My now ex-husband and I hit it off. It was interesting; we clicked. I was 16 years my senior, and I thought, “Yeah, I don’t know.”

Back then, it didn’t seem like much maturity-wise. You know, I had been on my own for a bit, and yeah, I

Right, right?

It had to grow fast, so there it was, that element of it, and it was good. It was a good match at that time, right? So, I ended up leaving, probably like, maybe three or four years afterward and becoming a wife and a mother, and I became a mother.

So, at this point, did you pretty much? Because you were in business, did you?

Finish business school and then work as a household executive or stay-at-home mom.

Did you have business during this time? No businesses during that time. No, no, no. We had a discussion. I wanted to keep going and working, and he was very old-school, and he was like, “You know, I have enough that we can provide.” For our family and us, I would like to have you as a step-at-home mom raising our kids, right? And so, I gave all that up and went and became Mama’s wife. You name it, you know it. I like to call it the Chaos Wrangler.

A certified cat herder

And I spent 21 years with that man near the end. just like it is. As you know, every relationship is nearing its end.

It was extremely rocky. And we, I mean. We had gone through several marriage counselors, very unsuccessfully. Right, but eventually, uh, I don’t know. Is it there?

There was one point in one marriage counseling session where he said something like “a knife to the heart,” and I walked out. That was the day. I went and filed.

I was done. Uh, I felt. From that comment, it seems that I have 0 self-worth. In his eyes, I was only a wife and a mother, and he commented that we had this meeting and the counselors. I was talking to my soon-to-be ex and said, “You do realize what this means?” If you and your spouse divorce, you don’t have your wife anymore, your children are literally, you know, going to be part of two households, and your life is changing forever, right? Are you unwilling to make these changes? And he flat out said, “Deadpan,” and I was sitting there. That was the part that I couldn’t get over.

Like, did he forget I was sitting? He was in front of him and said, “What could she possibly do without me?”

Oh, what a dagger to the heart that is.

So, you can see. What made me leave?

I wasn’t clear a minute ago, but now it is crystal clear, yeah?

That hurt more than anything because it made me feel like I had zero self-worth.

Well, getting put in any box and saying you’re just whatever the label on the box is pretty ****** Having that be said by the person that you love the most and have dedicated your life to, it’s horrendous, awful. It’s the worst.

Yeah, that’s what happened with, uh, well now, ex-husband and, you know, fiancé # 3. I’m not looking for a fourth partner.

We’re keeping track, folks. We ran with three fiancés and one husband, so you get split up and completely change your life. Some people might call it a midlife crisis.

Well, I think everybody thought I was having a midlife crisis without a doubt, but this is something that I like. If you take the time to reflect and see some patterns in your life, you can make a change.

And it wasn’t till that divorce happened that it forced me to look right because, up to that point, I was 20.

I was on the path to becoming a doctor. Then, from like, in my 20s to my 40s, right? And I’m going to tell you how you know.

You just had a birthday.

Shush anyway. I am dismissing that.

Send me an e-mail at prophetarchitect@gmail.com if you want to know how old Carol is. I won’t. I won’t do that to you. I’m not going to answer. Maybe I will. You go, but you go through this.

You have your whole life pointed in one direction.

Yeah, so 20 years into that, yeah, and again, another pop, you know, just over 20 years, and I’m divorced now. And so, what I saw was this cycle of every 20 years, this was happening. I’m like

Well, what the? In other words, I don’t know what I’m doing. Many years later, it felt like I was on this roller coaster. The circular roller coaster where 20 years haven’t done anything.

You know, and so I’m sitting there going, “This stink.” Let’s try something different.

And yeah, people might have thought it was a midlife crisis, but I went through a bucket list.

It wasn’t an awakening, right?

right? It made me realize I wasn’t on the right path. You know, and so I went down the bucket list. Riding a motorcycle at the top of the list terrified me. So, I wanted to do it. And once I did it, it terrified me even more, making me want to do it.

So, we started racing motorcycles. What was it like to get into that world? Were there a lot of other women racing? bikes at the time.

Not it, not then. At that time, it was still very much male-dominated. Looking around the pits, I was one of maybe three girls.

Were they riding too, or were they just along for the day?

actual writers. The rest of them are Yeah, the rest were pit pitches, or as we call them, support crew.

I’ve been watching Yellowstone, and he gets into the world of Roadian; you’ve got buckled chasers. Or buckle bunnies.

I’m talking about pitches. What do we even consider, guys? When they’re part of the crew, like the support crew,

The ones taking care of you call them “pit pitches.

Pitches, yeah, I’m so the joke. Is it like if? You’re, you know, in the pits, and you’re not the writer. You’re somebody’s pitch for the day.

That’s funny. I feel like that will be my title if I come to you guys’ house and hang out. I’m going to be the pit bull. If I come to one of these, I better have a shirt with Travis Pit *** on it.

I’m not going to accept anything less, and then I’ll make you one that says “plug” on it, and we’ll let people figure out what that means. So, you’re racing. There aren’t a lot of girls racing.

Well, I was instructing. And one of the goals I wanted was to be erased and get my expert license. So, I wanted to do that because it was part of my evolution into the sport. But while I was starting, I kind of fell in love with the basic idea of writing, and there was something super profound about it. It was not just a group sport where you could ride with other people, but it was very much an individual sport. So, you have the best of both worlds, which I appreciate. If you can get the joys of both in one, I love that; you know, writing is very visceral. You feel everything you know. And when you’re in the car, you don’t unless you roll your windows down. You know, and it’s not even listening. But you still

It’s not the same thing as writing. I’ve never had a sports bike, but I’ve had a cruiser, and I took it with me to Minnesota, and you’re going through the lake, the Lake Country, you know, 10,000 plus kilometer thing. There’s like 14,000 lakes in Minnesota and you’re like, you’re digging in the curves you’re riding through and you’re feeling the bugs and you’ve got the scent and you smell all that stuff.

When you pass cars, you can feel the wind pushing you; so many things in the air require so much. I think there’s a part of it that maybe because we are entrepreneurs, the multitasking part of it, right? Writing, thinking, enjoying, and connecting—all that stuff plays into it. And it was. I don’t like to be good at anything, so I want to be good, if not better. You know, and you’re always striving for excellence, so you know that. That racing portion of it was to become calm. You know it and all. It was scary as ****.

Let me tell you something terrifying.

I love doing things that scare me. Like before I jumped into my first airplane, I was like, “Yeah, I’m terrified.And before I went to flight school, I was terrified. I went overseas, like yeah, I get that feeling; you’re like, let’s do it.

Yeah, but don’t you feel like it is because it is terrifying, and you know that it is? It kind of opens up your world.

Oh yeah, absolutely.

Your experiences in life, you know, and I can honestly tell you, driving in a car at the same speed I ride a motorcycle does not give me the same joy. It makes me giggle. Yes, when I drive a sports car, but not when I am on a bike. I mean, it’s a completely different feeling. Like it’s so. It’s exhilarating, and you’re always on the edge when you’re on the racetrack. And if you’re pushing it, of course, but if there’s something about teaching people you know and seeing the smiles on their faces, I like doing that.

I get more back than anything. You know, I hate anything. You know, I love it. That kind of stuff

They love the feel of the power between the legs and the throttle, and all the rushing air, and you take off your helmet, and your face is all tingly because the air is all pushing the blood flow, and now your blood is rushing back in, and you get tingles for like 40 minutes after you do this stuff.

Booty guts with a smile permanently on your face for freaking days.

I went with a friend of mine. Danny only went to Vegas for his bachelor party, and we did it. We do it over like a week, so we’re not trying to jam everything into a single night like I know so many people do. One of the days, I was like, “What do you want to do?You haven’t done it yet. He’s like, “I want to go to the racetrack with these supercars, right?

So, we went to Vegas Motor Speedway. We get to ride in something resembling a Maserati SUV.

They did like a demo, and I was like, “Oh, you know, it’s going to be like the Maserati got paddles, so he’s ripping everything.

Yep, we’re ripping through the track and it’s a road course. It’s a road course, not a bike track. It’s not like a big loop like NASCAR, and then he gets He wanted to drive an Aston Martin and the Audi R8, and I wanted to try that new Corvette, and then I drove a McLaren.

Was it an S 720 or 720S or whatever the model number is and is like? I was sporting wood for the next three days, just ripping around. I got the track there, and if you guys have never done this, I think it’s a dream come true. An Italian race car driver owns it, and everyone who rides with you has a license. Like race car drivers, they’re all Italian guys. They’re working on their skills and the turns and the timing and stuff, and they walk you through this, and it’s so much fun. I had a hot rod back in the day that I got up to like 165. It was hillbilly engineered, so it was not designed for 165, but it had 420 horses of power, and it weighed 1900 pounds, so I could essentially go as fast as I was willing to go. But on the racetrack,

I’m driving, I’m doing this stuff. He’s telling me to 1/2, you know, shift up, shift down, brake hard, all this stuff, and right in the McLaren, I passed 7 cars. It’s like five laps, and he’s like, “What do you?He’s like you here working on your lap time. I was like, no, this is my first time on the track; he’s like, I would have thought that you were fairly experienced, and I was like, “No, this is just fun.” I just wanted to rip it around the track, and he’s like, “You’re pretty good,” and I’m like, “Maybe you should do it.”

Well, now that I’m 40 and retired from the Navy, maybe I should get into racing. There you go. There we are. There we go.

right, Chris Matthews

He does, and I love him. Hey, I adore Chris, a mutual friend of ours. If you don’t know Chris, you’re just not living your life, not living your best life. He’s got some world records. He was the first person I forgot. What tires should I use to enter the force? I think 4 points, like 8-9 seconds in the quarter mile. He was the first one, with something like a 50 Mustang with a certain type of tire. In a world with a specific type of tire to get going that fast, so 212 miles an hour or whatever it is like. I’d love to do that if it’s not too late, but I want to know how you did it. go from being a racer. You decide you want to do it with your team.

So, when I started as a racer, I noticed a slow progression of women entering the sport, with a greater emphasis on younger and youth riders. And there was a There were a couple of years when I worked hard and tried to work hard with our local race organization. I have long since cut ties with our local race organizations because there is so much in them. There is a lot of politics. And too many people are in positions of UN power. They misuse their power. And I honestly got tired of putting my head up against a wall because

When I’m trying to better the sport, they keep trying to influence it to make money so that they can, you know, succeed that way. That’s not for the betterment of the sport; that’s just the betterment of their pocketbook. I got tired of fighting it, but I worked pretty tightly at the time with them, and we saw an influx. We had women come in, so we changed certain classes to include those women and young, new young riders. Because really, the future of the sport is women and the youth that are coming in. There are a lot of men in the sport, and I’m sorry, by the time they get there, they are not going to be the next—a Moto GP superstar. You don’t become a Moto GP superstar unless you’ve been, like, riding bikes. Since you were a child, it comes so naturally. Like Valentino Rossi, he’s the pinnacle of motorcycle riders, right, and he’s just this happy. That is why he is a happy-go-lucky, fun-loving guy.

He’s so revered and loved in our sport. He’s not, you know, just like the cocky guy he’s. He is a humble, kind individual, and I sit there, and I go, “Why don’t we have more of these people?” You know, representing our sport. Instead, you have ******** and cocky ********, and so just about anything before ******** is pretty much good.

Well, I see you describing Valentino Rossi is much different than how you described me the first time you met me.

Yeah, well, but you and dear were very endearing when I met you.

But not at first glance. The first time you looked, you were like, “This guy is just this.

Yeah, I put you in a box.

I stand corrected. I did it in a box.

What kind of box was it?

Yeah, well, the box was. He’s going to be a cocky *******. You know, and it’s just, I don’t know, you. Your kind of standing there. I’m off alone most of the time, and when I first met you and you made your introduction, you broke the ice. You know because what?

Yeah, yeah.

Did you say you? Just to make sure I understand what you’re saying.

So hi, I’m Travis. I’m an *******. Nice to meet you.

Yep, and that’s how we met then. So that was a time when we were doing a mastermind, and everybody had to go around. And, you know, say their name. Do a brief introduction and blah blah blah, and this is how Travis introduced himself? And I’m completely taking back what I thought of you.

I’ve got to take the edge off. I’m confident I can hold people accountable if they’re in my circle in my life. I’m holding them accountable immediately, which can come off as an *******, or I’m I tell people when they’re talking down to themselves or when they’re not following through on what they said. I said something right away, and I said, “Don’t talk to yourself.Like that, your users are far better than that. You’re worth more than you. I think you are, and some people aren’t ready for that, so they get labeled as *******, and many people have met me. When I first met you, I thought you were an *******, but now? I’m, you know, some version of I’m OK with it now, like I understand why you are the way you are, and so I usually say that to kind of cut the tension, like it’s. An AA meeting, yeah.

It was good. It was effective.

Yeah, anonymous 88. ******** You know, I’m Travis. I’m on *******

I’m aiming to be a *******. I am clearing out my circle a little bit because I think when you are kind, giving, and generous, people take advantage of you and

Yeah, you have to be able to be kind and generous and also enforce your boundaries and your standards.

Yeah, yep. And I’ve put my I’ve allowed people to cross many boundaries because I would not. And you know, I regret many things, like returning to these groups, these local organizations, and putting up with many things. During that time, I’d like to see these local organizations be more careful about the people they choose in their offices. I think it plays a huge part in the success of those organizations, and I don’t think that it means that you have to use those individuals within our industry exclusively. I think it’s good for everybody to have a chance to participate, and in the years that I participated, I believe we flourished.

But I don’t want to run another organization. I have no desire to, and I can’t fight with people within that organization because they’ve been there for a long time, and I know a lot of people like me.

Like, oh, I can change that, right? You go in all gung-ho. And then you realize, “No, I can’t.” I absolutely can’t. You know what? I need to find There is a different way to impact the world, and we can’t do it this way.

Yeah, it takes too long to get to that position where you need to be or that you can do something like that, but by the time you get there, you’re so beat down by the system that you’re now institutionalizing it. I’m curious how that desire manifested itself. It’s crazy how that works, right?

Do you save yourself? They already tried to save the world, and here’s the deal, people. If you’re not working on yourself first, you will not be able to do either until you are in order. This is something you’re doing. You started Moto Vixens, and you’ve been dating somebody else. I want to get into this because you are a strong, confident, beautiful, talented, intelligent woman and we still find ourselves in a ****** relationship.

Like, what does this look like? Did it start crappy? They did not see this.

is the thing. It never starts that way, right?

Because you wouldn’t get into that, it’s a good relationship if it’s a relationship.

Exactly, I mean the same. Red flags would go up immediately, right? But in the beginning, I mean, of course, everybody puts their best first. You’re aware that it takes time for those cracks to appear. And sometimes those cracks take a little bit longer, so I want to see you more by that point, a year or more. Emotionally Test it. You know, or you start making excuses for them, or you learn more about their background, and you have compassion for them because that’s natural what we do, right? And so, you’re willing to excuse the poor behavior and overlook it. And then it becomes part of your daily life. And then there’s more added on, you know, and that’s when things start to get very burdensome, is when you start realizing, Oh my God, like.

How did I get it? Here, and it’s a very slow drip.

It is, so what is it? How about your friends? Was it your friends that helped? You kind of clue into what was going on. Like, what did that look like?

I knew I knew.

I mean, I understand.

We would have talked, and they would have said, “Get out, get out, get.” I was out and I was like, “I just keep hoping he’ll change there.” I hope you enjoy it. There was always something in my head. I hope you know that people don’t change; they just don’t change.

They do, and they don’t. It’s this strange dichotomy because we create this operating system and accept everything from birth to about seven years without filtering. age, and then that’s our operating system going forward for life. So, if we’re told that we’re beautiful, intelligent, talented, and can create anything with our minds as if that’s how we operate, you know if you suffer abuse. Then they say, “I love you.” Your love operating system is completely whacked for that time, and it can take decades to snap out of it.

But change, like real change, especially fighting against whatever your inherent operating system is, is super difficult. So, if you’re in a relationship hoping for a change, this is for you. If it’s that far departed from their normal operating system, it will take a huge amount of effort, a traumatic event, or some kind of epiphany that forces them to change their life. Carol is saying that it’s essentially just not going to happen.

Yeah, I think we all do. I want to believe that they will change if they quote the UN quote levy enough.

It’s nothing to do with love.

They can’t help themselves. They really can’t help themselves. Their condition is to be this way. and it took me a long time to figure it out. And at that time, I was struggling with a lot of stuff with Moto Vixens, right? And with the added pressure of the relationship, I was going to have a nervous breakdown, like I was breaking down in hives. I used to go to the emergency room once a week. And I was breaking out in these hives, and it was just from the stress, and I couldn’t take it anymore. My advisors said, “You’ve got to go on vacation like you are going to break if you don’t go,” and they knew that I was having issues with my relationship.

They felt it and saw it. When they visited me, they even took me aside and said, “How long do you think it’s going to last?” And I said, “It’s been several years now.” I don’t think I can take it. ” More, right?

So, what was it? What was the actual final push to get you to sever the relationship?

I remember the day I remember. I remembered the day.

Oh, you older man.

I want to hear it tell me about that day.

There were a lot of things that led up to this point. He had never been physical with me. ever and.

We need… what do you mean, physical?

Uhm lay hands on me in any way. aggressively, right?

 

We had a huge fight, and it took a lot for me to yell. I’m not a yeller, but if you push every button you can find, I’ll eventually pop right, and I did. That was the day I popped. And I had had enough. I was screaming and yelling at him, and he took his hand and covered my mouth.

and just said, “Don’t.” Talk to me like that. And I looked at him, and I was like, “Observing him from there.” “(Oh my God, is this happening like I’m in shock? Because, yeah, I was completely blocked, and I took his hand off, threw it at him, and said, “don’t ******* touch me ever again,” right? So, I continued yelling at him. He takes the towel off the counter like a hand towel and covers my face with it. Yeah, now I’m in absolute shock, right?

Yeah, yeah.

So, again, I didn’t see that coming, did I?

So, are you ready to fight, flee, or freeze?

So, I’m a fighter.

She’s a fighter.

So, I sat there, threw the towel at him, and started. I started screaming at him again, and he said, “My dad is here.” He can; he can hear us outside. I said I don’t give an FCK, basically, right? I go, don’t you ever touch me again, and I mean that in every sense. Don’t ever touch me again, right? And he had the audacity, and this is where that came from. You know what? What exactly is it? I called it, I can’t remember right now, where somebody does something horrific or says something horrific to you. Right, and then the next moment? It’s similar to

A change of personality, and they praise you. I remember sitting there when he came up to me after I told him never to touch me again, and he said, “Do you still love me?” I’m just too soft in my heart, and I just What do you like? What do you do in that situation? I was ******* infuriated, and then, at the same time, I was like, there’s that soft side of me that’s like forgiving, right?

But it was pushed past that point, and I just looked at him and said, “I do, but I think I’ve had enough.” That changed the dynamic of our relationship from that point on, and he knew he was in the doghouse, but I think he always tried to ingratiate me in some way.

He could stay.

So, once you asserted yourself, they sent shockwaves to get him to at least feign or pretend some kind of behavior change. And then, how long did the relationship last after that point?

Not much longer. It was horrible, and there was a day we were working out in her hangar, and I was on the treadmill. He’s arguing with me while he’s on the elliptical, and I just stopped, like I turned off the machine. I got off. I sat on the edge of the table, looked at him, and said, “Would you please just leave?” And he just keeps going without losing his stride. He goes, “No, I’m not leaving.” You are. “

And I went, OK, I’m going to take that as a threat, right? And so I came in. I was bawling. You know, I came in. I called all my friends. For reference, refer to an attorney. We had a house that we bought together, so he was a joint owner of it. It was to help him build. Because he didn’t have any credit, he didn’t pay for anything in this house. He didn’t pay for the down payment. He didn’t pay for any of the renovations. He didn’t pay for anything, but he lived a beautiful lifestyle. That he had never lived before and treated me like ****, so it taught me that people don’t change that regardless of their past. They will continue to be the people they are. They can’t help it, and he won’t. He was not going to change. So, what would you say this is?

These are four relationships that you’ve ended.

What would you say to other people in situations like this? You know, we see those red flags ******* run. Damn, the consequences. You’ll figure it out.

You’ll always figure it out.

It’s a lot of adaptation, right? You make a choice.

Yeah, you will always figure it out. If it’s bad for you and red flags are smacking. Keep sitting; you’re just postponing the inevitable. You’re kicking the can down the road, and you’ll have new issues and consequences down the road as well. Take care of it now and save yourself the extra consequences later, you know, or wait and have plenty more to deal with.

Alternatively, you can save yourself years of terrible things like this: we trade our time and our youth thinking that this will change or get better, and it doesn’t.

I even want to. I think we want somebody to love and somebody to be there and be present. And I hear so many women say, “Yeah, he’s not good for me, but he’s there.” But he’s there. He’s not contributing in any way to you, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, in no other way. It tears you down. You know, so why do we allow this to happen? And I, quite honestly, especially with successful women, think we’re not quitters. We will work hard to make that relationship work because we don’t quit. We don’t quit our jobs. We won’t quit.

But I don’t do this like I don’t do this with quitting. Right, a lot of people are told. I know, I know, I’m with you, I understand. When I look at where my superpowers are, I see things just a little bit differently than the vast majority of people. And when I look at this, I know many women are told that being nice is the most important thing. Being nice and making friends is the most important thing. But we forget to be nice to ourselves first and be nice to ourselves first. It means you’re taking care of yourself physically.

You’re getting the sleep you need. You’re getting enough hydration; you know you’re eating the right foods. You’re exercising; you’re taking care of your mind, ensuring that you’re doing the right things with your mind, soul, or spirituality, whatever that means to you. You’re taking care of yourself first if you’re not filling yourself up. You are poor trying to pour into someone else’s life from an empty cup, and you’re not doing them any favors either, so you have to be able to take care of yourself first to give your unequivocal love to whatever it is that you are struggling with. And if you’re not taking care of your well first, you’ll find yourself being toyed with or manipulated because you don’t have the capacity, energy, or foresight to defend yourself.

But don’t you think our need for connections sometimes trumps all? When I talk to these women, they take care of themselves.

You can connect with We’re pretending like there are not seven and a half billion people out there. Well, they’re really pretty. There are a lot of pretty people out there. There are pretty people on every corner in America and around the world. There are beautiful people. Let’s not pretend that we can’t find them. Is it hard? Yes, it’s very hard.

Quality people are hard to find. It’s all very hard for people. It’s not hard to figure out how to connect with a good-quality individual that you want to share and spend time with; that betters you as a person and enriches your life.

That’s hard to find.

Right, but that is hard to find regardless of your current situation. It’s hard to find regardless, and if we just accept whatever comes our way, we’re never going to be satisfied with what we’ve had or created. As I said, I was a guest on another show on The Strategic Advisory Board this week. The Strategic Advisory Board If you haven’t checked out that show, please check it out. Our friend, Jason Miller, shows us that is fantastic, but you must be willing to watch it to do the hard stuff. I’ve spent the last year and a half weirding out people in my life in scarcity survival mode. I’m not discounting a bad day or two; that’s not what I’m saying. The people that are in my life during my struggle are abundant. They’re not. They’re taking responsibility for what happens in their lives. They’re not waiting for some mythical apology from some other being. They’re not. You know, saying, “Oh, it’s the government or this group of people or that group.of people or the economy.

There are always exclusives, yeah.

No one comes in to save you. You have to save yourself. You’re never going to outperform. The vision you have of yourself, you’re like, “Oh, I keep ending up in these situations.Well, it keeps happening because you had the opportunity to learn the lesson. And since you didn’t learn the lesson and don’t think highly of yourself, you’ll get the opportunity to learn the lesson again.

And hopefully, actually get something out.

of it this time.

But once you raise your vision of yourself and raise your standards, people will come into your world. similarly, to how those other people********* You’re going to recognize it right away and be like, “I already know how this works.Get away from me, please.

You’re going to know it automatically. Surround yourself with people who encourage you, make you better in life, and do the good things that hold you accountable. If you’re in a group of people not holding you accountable, they don’t care about you. They don’t.

So, tell me about your life now. Tell me about how we went through a lot of hard stuff. You’re talking about terrible things. What is Carol’s life now? I know you’re a published author. I’ve got your book. If you’re watching the video, you’ve seen my flash this time. The elegant disruptor, Carol Carpenter, is the number one bestseller in what motorcycle category? Something like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That’s awesome. We’ll have the link for you to get your very own. In the show notes, tell us about your life now, Carol.

Oh gosh, uh, now I run, you know, motor vixens. I have the book. I am doing this podcast with you.

That’s the pinnacle right there. It’s an acle right there. It’s not that. But you’ve also done things like acting and stunt driving. I see pictures of you and Keanu Reeves, who is surprisingly appropriate.

You know, he got caught being appropriate in Hollywood instead of inappropriate, right?

Yeah, I’ve done it. My brother and I got a lot of things. I got into stunt work early on. So yeah, I got divorced, so I had a talent agent. I acted. I modeled; I did all kinds. You know, crazy little tidbits of work.

This is starting in your 40s.

Where most women in Hollywood stopped getting roles at 30, you started in your 40s.

Yeah, so you know, it’s a hard business to get into. I was in, and I didn’t want to be in there, and I wished motivation were just taking off, so I concentrated more on that. And I shifted my focus to that. And you know, I’m ten years old.

We’re celebrating ten years this year, which is no That’s the year before. That was my Rising Phoenix one. So that was the last. And so, the year passed. Yeah, that’s my 10th anniversary.

All those on video, the 10-year shirt.

Yeah, and you know why there’s a tiger there? Well, it’s the number one year of the tiger, right? And my son was born in the year of the Tiger right now.

I would have thought there would be a cougar on here. How old is your

Oh, dear. Maybe we’ll go back. I’m calling you and your household again.

It might be true. It might be fun. I’ve made you cry. You’ve called me an. ******* on the. Perhaps I haven’t.

Oh God, oh God. Yeah, so no. Right now, everything is great, and I am incredibly happy. What exactly does that mean?

I’ve done so many things this year. The year that I never anticipated the book was one of them. You’ve heard of Ted Talks, right? Speaking of God, I seem to be writing a lot. I’m a contributing author for a leadership piece—a series of books that are coming up. I’m the executive producer of a movie that’s coming up. Have a reality show about my God’s signature line of products. Am I an overachiever?

I don’t know what you would call this, but I know for sure that you can design whatever life you want to live. There are no boundaries or boxes.

There are no rules.

Do you know what your box is? This and this Yes, how big are they?

Put your head in your heart. How big are they for people that aren’t watching? What do you tell yourself? What story do you tell yourself when you say you can’t or shouldn’t do something? I use a lot of cuss words in this. The show should have me using more curse words than I have been.

Yeah, I did the shooting. I don’t believe in the shooting. Ah, you’re horrible traffic.

That’s what it is. Oh, I should. I should do this. I should do that. You’re using it. You should feel guilty. Yourself, yeah?

And if I don’t, I don’t. I believe that. So, I have never said in my life that I can’t do something. I just don’t have that in my vocabulary now. I’ll say it; it’s going to be ******* hard to accomplish.

This is what you truly want. You can do anything you want. If you just want to open yourself up and look into yourself, like because of you. You have to realize that whatever journey you’re planning on going on to accomplish, you know, whatever dream you want to accomplish,

It’s going to be ******* hard.

Your team. You know, it’s even harder. It’s even harder to stay in your comfort zone and on the hamster wheel. That’s equally hard. You’re just OK with it.

Yeah, but if you do that, where are you going? At least this way, you’re going somewhere you know, and trust me, there are times when you feel like there’s just no way, but guess what?

You become extremely creative when you have that open heart and an open mind. You become very curious. You become very resourceful, and it’s amazing what can be done just by doing, you know, just setting yourself forth with your dreams because I think most of the time, people just go. Yeah, that’s yeah, that’s just a pipe dream.

Is he talking about themselves and their limitations?

Yeah, yeah, but those are limitations that you put on yourself.

Curiosity might have killed the cat, but curiosity built the world.

Curiosity drives people to explore every corner of the globe, including beneath the ocean, the skies, and space. And you can see, like the wings, that I’m 30,000 light years away with the new James Webb Telescope.

I mean, curiosity drives people, and if you’re open and curious, you can get so much done. If you’ve never traveled outside of your state, please don’t have an opinion about pretty much anything. Would you keep it to yourself? It’s very uninformed. Get out there, see the world, and do things. I’ve been to all 50 states and 12 countries and been on the sea. I’ve got 1500 hours of flight time. I’m an author. You’re not like us, who have done so much because we know that there are no limits other than what we can imagine. Everything is terrifying. Do it anyway. Yeah, do it anyway.

What do you want to do? This life just sits by. And then let life happen to you or make life happen for you.

Is this all there is?

Ask yourself. I listened to this. Is this the end of the story? If that answer is no, then please join us on a journey. Tell us how you plan on being uncomfortable today, tomorrow, and next week, what you will pursue, and what you will do. You never know where you’re going to end up. If you had told me ten years ago, I would’ve been a top podcast host and have a fantastic coast like Carol.

There’s no way. There’s no way. But that was ten years ago. I know that it’s 100% possible. If you tell me where I’m going to be in 10 years, I’ll believe you because I know that we’re living an eternal existence.

Tell people where they can get your book. For starters, the elegant disruptor.

Carolcarpenterbook.com I have a social media website at thatscarolcarpentermedia.com. You can join us on one of our track days. Moto Vixens.com. I’m on all social media, so Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook are all at Moto Vixens. And I’m on LinkedIn as Carol Carpenter, so reach out. We’d love to connect.

Go to CarolCarpenterbook.com or search social media Moto Vixens to find he.? We don’t want to make it too confusing for people. Catch us this week and every week for a new episode of the Titan Evolution Podcast. Thank you, Carol, for being my guest today.