Keep Being Dangerous with Sam Webber

Hey, welcome back to the show. I’m here today with Sam Webber. Sam, how the hell are you?

I’m doing amazing. Thank you so much.

Yeah, man. Glad to have you on the show. Sam did me the courtesy of having me on his show last week. I got to hang out with Sam and Matt and talk on AMP. It was a lot of fun; it’s a Live listener show. There were people in the comments section as we were doing a live. It gives it a different feel than a pre-recorded thing like what we’re doing today. 

But the things you should know about saying before we get started are that he owns the pro basketball team, Oklahoma Kings. He runs the Slaying Chill network, and we already said that he is the co-host of Sam and Matt Talks.

Indeed. Thank you so much for that introduction, sir. I mean, I am in your arena now. So, I’m excited about this.

Yeah, you got you on the hot seat. Now, see how. Do you like it?

Yeah, I’m, like, getting Kind of sweaty over here.

Sweating already; the AC is on. I’m saying, I have to know, man, how on Earth did you come to own a pro basketball team like the Oklahoma Kings?

Jeez, where do I start? It is simple with the podcast man being in podcasting, creating different content. I’ve recorded sports life, art, and chills—so throughout the sports, we were like, hey, we’ve been reporting for the Thunder, and nobody’s biting. No retweets, no anything. 

So, I was just scrolling and stumbled upon Oklahoma King’s Instagram page. So, me being the archer, I shot my shot and the DM and was like, I would love to have you on the show; learn a little bit more about your organization.

So, Kendall Perpall, the founder of the Kings, agreed, signed up, and was on the show.

From there, it was like, could you pull up and do this live in the arena during one of our games? So then, the team was located in Tulsa. OK, you know, I was in Oklahoma City, so me and my dad would commute game days and set up my shop with my microphone. We got the banner, set it up on the table, and then you know the video from there. We also have a video of it, so we were instant commentators. 

From there, I followed the team all season. The owner or founder, Kendall Perpall, got signed professionally to play basketball in Canada and would no longer be able to do the duties of a team owner, so he shot. Shot at me. He was like, Yo, Sam, I don’t want to let this team go, man, like, you know, and don’t anybody else love the team as much as you? Besides, you know, I love the team more than he does. He asked me what I would take over, and I said, I’ll pause for a second.

Yes, and that’s pretty much what it was.

So I was like, I don’t know anything about being a general manager, owner, hiring, and firing. I had to Google. Google was my friend. I’m like, what are the roles of a professional …  You know, each title of a professional basketball organization.

I started building a resume; the rest has been history, so this is year three. Yeah, this is your three for me. The season doesn’t start till March, but I got to beat out like last year. I was like the head coach; the Trainer General Manager Podcast did a lot, man. So, I had to step away from coaching so I could just secure.

Focus on one Role, which is the general manager’s role. You know, that’s the person responsible for hiring and firing all staff and players, so you know. My dad took over as head coach. I brought in an assistant coach and another trainer so I could focus. Building other sponsorships and connections that will help elevate the organization. So that’s the short story. Yes, I shot my shot, and the rest is history.

I love that you wanted to be involved in sports. You gave it a shot with the Thunder trying to call their games or do a hot take on how it was going, and you didn’t get that response you were looking for, but you did find that there was more than one basketball team in Oklahoma, and you reached out to them, not knowing what they would say. They don’t know you. You don’t know them. You formed that relationship. You figured out you. I wanted to do something, and you gave it a try. I know so many people who get lost in things like pre-planning. We have to do this. Then we had to do this. 

So, I’m not there yet. I was like, did you show up yet? Like, no. Did you give it a try yet? Like, not yet. What? What are people waiting for? Why do you think it is those people who don’t look at those things as opportunities show up and do it?

I don’t know, man. I don’t want to get churchy. But you know, my mom and pops grew me up. I was raised in the church, so from what I read in the Bible. Man, it’s like faith without work is dead, so you can have as much faith that something will happen for you, and God keeps giving you different opportunities. And I’ve just seen that as an opportunity. I was one relationship that was closing in my life, and then? Sheesh. Then the guy dropped that gift on me, and I just caught it. I’ve just been running with it. 

So some people are not afraid to take that first step, you know, or believe it’s you. You know that you can do it. But I don’t know.

I’ve been reading the Bible, starting in the Gospels, running through Matthew and Mark, and I’m halfway through Mark. And I’m like, who the hell is Mark? It doesn’t even say who he is. He’s not one of the disciples. He had to do some research. But as I was reading through that, every time you read through, you pick up on something different, and what Stuck out to me. Not only the red words. The words that Jesus spoke, he said. You are healed because of your Faith. 

He didn’t say. If you have faith in the Bible, He didn’t say if you had faith in me. He didn’t say you had faith in God or his father. He didn’t say any of that. He says you aren’t healed because you have faith. And I think too many people get hung up on some crazy thing that has nothing to do with being done, as if I had said to you. You could have salvation today if you Just make your bed. And you be like Sam, what did you make your bed be like? Well, I created a conference around making your bed, right? Yeah. But did you make your bed, Sam? I raised $ 5,000 this past week for people who need help making their beds. Yeah, but did you make your bed? Right. 

They get hung up on all this stuff that is just a distraction. They’re using that not to do whatever the thing is. I just posted a Facebook post for my dad this past week, and he’s like, you know. Well, I would probably do something other than procrastinate, but every time I procrastinate, it works out for me. So why would I do it any other way, you know? I’ll probably stop it.  It keeps working out for me, you know.

Yeah, seriously. Seriously, that’s funny.

How important do you believe that mindset applies to everything that you do?

A lot. I don’t want to put up a sentence very high, like very high. That’s how I have been getting through life, like growing through life. You have to have an elevated mindset. You it’s, you know, it’s the cup is half full. Half empty, like, how? How do you perceive it? 

So I’m always Looking on the brighter side because it’s so easy to go down that rabbit hole of negativity; I’m like, Let me just keep my light bright and shining regardless.

Oh, I love it. It’s one of the tenants I talk about when people ask me about my success. It’s like the four things on the real quick list: show up with a great attitude, provide value, and take responsibility. And that first one always has to show up for so many people. 

Get a date on Tinder, and they won’t show up, right? They’ll get nominated for something or say, hey, man, you have to come check out this group, and then they never go. But you’re a guy that shows up, right? I said, hey man, I got it. I was introduced to you by Suzette, who was down at Equity Brewing, and I said, hey, we’re doing this Toastmaster thing on Tuesday as many should show up. And, ladies and gentlemen, Sam showed up. And I found out he was not the only dude I was there, and everybody else was ladies and had a great time. But he had to show up to know.

I did it.

And find out all that information he didn’t know before going there.

Nope. I had a great time as well. I stepped outside myself—outside my box and comfort zone—helped educate. It helped me evolve. There we go. That was the word of the day. I didn’t forget.

I did not forget, sir. I have the Paper right around. Oh. Hey, I still got the Paper right here with the word.

They got the sheets they needed. The itinerary for Toastmasters is for those who don’t know. Its Toastmasters is an international speaking organization. They help turn people into public speakers or get more confident to speak up and board minutes. And if you’re in Norman, OK. The second and fourth Tuesday of the month, it’s 6:00. We will be at Equity Brewing. We’re the only Toastmasters group that lets you drink during the meeting. So that lets me be in there—not a pitch for it, but if you want to see what I am talking about, come on over. 

This is a this is a new chapter in your life. I know you had some big news over the summer. And you’re getting recalibrated in what you’re doing. You want to share what happened over the summer and how this changed your life.

Jeez, are you talking about this divorce? That’s, or is that the word we’re talking about? Is that, yeah?

I don’t want to say it in case you didn’t want to. You know, go down that track.

Part of healing is that you have to talk about it. You have to go through what you’re going through. So, I can’t say that I’m healthy, and I’m afraid to speak. 

So yeah, as of August 15th, I’m officially divorced. I was married for years, so it was just one of those. Things you know, like life, you don’t know. I’m grateful that me and my kid’s mom are still great. You know, when it comes to co-parenting our kids, but you know, some things just don’t work, and, uh, you know, you could try to force it as much as possible. You want to. If they weren’t, If the cards were never, the odds weren’t forever in my favor in this case. So, I could go on and on about its negatives. 

Like I said, once I made that decision, it wouldn’t work. You know, we mutually agreed on it. Oklahoma King’s popped up, and it’s just that I’ve been this. Everything has been working itself out. But I had to have faith. I was a little nervous because, you know, having kids involved, you don’t know. How they’re going to be affected, that you know, I’m used to seeing my kids every day to now, you know, part-time Dad, you know, or whatever you want to call it.

I was kind of a little nervous, but I’m, you know, I’m, I’m still here, still strong, still growing, and, you know, it’s honestly true. It gave me a little more fire to get accomplished. A lot of things that you know, when I was in a marriage, I don’t know. I’m not going to put it out there and make it.

It sounds like he’s just a grown person, but when you’re When I was in my marriage.

There is a reason we are no longer together.

Yeah. So, I was shelling myself, not as talkative, and doing as much as I wanted. So now that I don’t have those shackles, those restraints, and those excuses, I’m just like you said: I’m getting up, showing up, and making sure I’m taking advantage of every opportunity because tomorrow is not. Promise so.

I heard something out there. We talked about how hard change is, and then, you know, other things like just change. It is the constant evolution of life; like everything changing, the quality of its changes. The sun changes position, right? Everything is in a season or this, you know, cyclical cycle, getting things going up, down, left, and right at different times. And some people will be in your life for a day, a week, a month, a season, or many seasons. But you know those chapters in life? 

So, it’s not the change that hurts us so much. The transition people that are in sports—right sports—is their whole life, then don’t make that next level, whatever that level may be, or they did make that next level, and that, you know, the career comes to an end for whatever reason, or maybe talk about the military or marriage or a long-term relationship change happens constantly, but man, that transition is so tough, especially in relationships, right? There are things about which you feel guilty that you wish you were working or that you wish you could have communicated. There, and it’s tough; it’s real tough. 

How many people do you talk to about your journey? As you’re trying to decide, this is becoming a thing. Did you keep it all inside or have a trusted advisor? You ask, what do they look like?

Throughout the journey, I first took the burden on myself because I felt ashamed. I was depressed; I was like a man, not a woman. Me, you know. Me. How’s she going to leave me? You. I knew I was like me. I didn’t want anybody to know.

So, I just dove headfirst into my network work. You know what I mean? I put my energy into that, so I didn’t tell anybody. I just kept it to myself for a while. 

But then I started my life coaching. Going through the chapters in the live coaching, I had to go through many things, so it was like everything I was running from. I was faced head-on and had to, like, be forced to. Throughout my process, I started allowing people in, you know, so, uh, because other people, you never know what somebody else is going through. And just me having the confidence to speak on it. It helped resonate with other people. I didn’t know. 

So, I was a guest on the show; shout out to Alethia Felton, Her transformation podcast Yes. And like you said, I just busted. Out crying, she asked me a question, and I said, Sheesh, I didn’t know that was where it was going. 

So, when did you know you needed to focus on your mental health? And then, I gave a story as to why I had to focus on what made me do so. The stuff I was currently doing going through what I thought was the end all to be all was the worst thing ever. And then I was just calling to check in on one of my friends, like a Big Brother figure, and wish him a happy birthday. He was about to commit suicide. He was literally what I called him. Yo, big brother, it’s your birthday. You know, I’m just doing my things like I usually do. And he wasn’t as responsive. You know what I mean? Like. I was like, what’s going on, bro? I’ve been attending these trainings to learn these spot signs. 

So, I’m like, Yo, you’re not yours; it’s your birthday. What’s up, bro? Let’s take a virtual shot. FaceTime me. And he was like no man. He’s like, honestly, you were the first person I called because I knew your energy. You. I knew it was going to be… Oh, he’s like nobody thought about me on my day. He said I’m sitting here with a tub full of water, and I got a handful of pills. 

So, I busted out crying. I said, ” No, brother, not on my watch. You know what I mean? So, I had to like the stuff that made me think I was the worst ever. This brother here was going through it. So, I had to. It took immediate focus. Like, man, you can’t be complaining about anything right now, so. Yeah, that’s pretty much it. I know it kind of was a tangent there, but I had to.

Yeah, this show specializes in tangents. We’re lucky if we know what happened by the end of the I get, I get fan mail, I get letters. They’re not fans, right? They just sent me an email, and it just said, What? The **** was that? It doesn’t say. Anything. 

Well, I’m really happy you could be there for your family, and I’ve lost over a dozen people to suicide. It’s a vicious animal. They could sneak up on sneaks of people, so going through what you went through, understanding where you were trying to get your way out, like learning through coaching, growing through quick coaching, and then having the tools to step in—that’s huge. That’s powerful.

Yeah, I didn’t realize that at that time. And just like I said, Alicia had me on her show, and all those emotions just, you know, poured out of me, literally. We were on a Zoom similar to this. She said, “Just thank you for being organic and, you know, authentic. And, you know, I’m still getting guys, fellas, texting me, messaging me about that. She’ll send me a screenshot of people saying how they are vulnerable like that allowed them to be OK and, you know, to feel like they weren’t alone. So yeah, it’s a lot. I was like, sheesh.

It’s a big deal. It’s a big deal somewhere in the history of, at least, guys, right? They thought being vulnerable and sharing real stuff was a weakness. Did you feel weak while sharing that stuff, or did you feel strong?

I felt strength, honestly, because I had been holding on to it for a long time, so the fact that I could get it off my chest or not until that moment in time when I realized all the things that I was currently growing through, or I had grown through to get to that point to be able to speak on it, you know because it was pretty much like therapy to me, I feel like I got a lot of stuff off my chest that I have. And baggage that’s just been burdened, you know, because I’m sitting here. Here. Oh, man. Divorce and somebody else going through something different from what I’m going through. That is way worse than what I am going through. 

So, it isn’t easy to be a Debbie Downer. Nowadays, even though we sometimes have bad days because we are perfect, we are human.

Never just a bad day. That’s not the case. Overall path or trajectory, right? It’s knowing who we are. It’s. Isn’t it amazing how you speak? The words help you let go. It gets the energy out of the air, right? The only way to let it go is to release it through your mouth and use those words.

I remember the first time I publicly shared part of my story. I talked to people you know about different things. Like, like, do. But I had never, like, stood up behind a podium and spoke to a crowd about all my baggage, all my stuff, all my ****, etc. In the time leading up to it, I had a 20-minute talk about whatever you wanted. And I’m like, how am I going to spend all, you know, filling this content? I’ve got all these stories, all this pain, heartache, and hardship. I’m going to fit it all in 20 minutes. I started talking, and boy, if  I didn’t hardly make it 7 minutes, I was running off the stage just like you said. When you shared the first time, you cried all the tears. 

As soon as I realized the impact of what I was doing in a public forum, I knew my wife was sitting in the crowd, and she had even heard all the stories I was getting into; all that emotion was welling up in me. And I pretty much ran off the stage in like 7 minutes. And the guy that put the thing together and invited me to speak, he’s like, well, we were kind of hoping to be a little bit longer with thanks so much for being our guest, and I got like the middle finger under the table, like, Hey, man, whatever. Man, screw you, yeah. But the first time you do that, you let that stuff out of your being. It’s going to be. Emotional reaction, and the more you won’t let it all out in one shot, right? It won’t be this big boom, and it’s all out. 

You have to get it out of there a bit at a time. A little bit of time. It’s just like pouring out like a can of soda, right? No matter how much you pour that thing upside-high, there’s always that little bit left holding on for dear life, like, I’m not going right, but the more we share that stuff, the more we realize that other people are going through the same stuff because they come up. They talk to you and be like Sam, man, I don’t know, you’re going through all that, man. 

The last time we hung out, I felt like a jerk because I said something stupid. Because it was bro time, right? I didn’t know you were going through all that. It wouldn’t be that way. And you know, you probably say something like I wouldn’t have you any other way, man. And also, if you like.

Seriously. Yeah. Because you are never, I know, I didn’t know that you were in the foster system, and I attempted all that. You know, I know you know everybody. Has a story made you feel me? 

Man, it’s been a journey. It has, because even seeing the studio, you were like, how you got everything set up. Yeah, man, about 90 days ago, I was homeless. You know what I mean? That’s just the reality of it. You know. It’s just wild to have, like I told you, to lead. It’s like, yeah, I was homeless not so long ago, you know, faking the phone, smiling through the ******** that I was going through. Just to make sure that you know, because I didn’t want I’m all, I’m a strong person. I’m the person that everybody goes to. You know what I mean? 

So, nobody checks on that guy. So I was depressed just going through it. I had a few people who knew what I was going through, but I’m just grateful I made it. I made it out on the other side. You know what I’m saying? Like. The phoenix. I’m like Blazing.

It puts all this pressure on you, right? And guys, in general, just feel enormous pressure in our day-to-day lives. And you know what that looks like? How does that manifest, you know? Oh, yeah. I’m just going to shove it down next to all the crap I’ve never talked about, like, how long till you? Explode, how long till? All of that stuff is out there. How long until you’re, I can’t believe I’ve been holding on to this stuff. And we have until we start exploring; we do not know how this hurts you. It’s like. I don’t remember which kind of radiation you got, but you got some radiation that bounced off your skin, but when it’s inside your system, it just destroyed you, right? Unless you can get that thing back out, 

And someone will write to me, like Travis … You know you can’t get radiation out of the body, whatever. That’s who I’m Talking about. You missed the metaphor there if that’s where you’re going.

But when we start letting this stuff go. It loses its hold on us and its power over us. We let that happen. Things you know control us. Destroy us if we let it. And there’s some deep, dark stuff out there. I know. I’ve been through a lot. I know you’ve been through a lot, and there are people. I will take any little drama out there and hold on to it like the same thing. 

And often, what they’re holding on to is a misunderstanding between you and the other person, and the other person has no idea. They’ve affected you in the slightest. Do you know why? Because you didn’t tell. He didn’t say, hey, man, when you When we do things like this. It bothers me. They probably have no idea. They’re like, oh, ****, man, I didn’t know. Yeah, man. Sorry. It won’t happen again, right? 

It’s a simple misunderstanding. If one party just holds on to it and they’re like, I can’t believe this bus, they were paying the ants daily. They’re always doing this thing. It was just really, really frustrating for me. Did you tell them? Did you ask him? Like if it was intentional? Ever. He does it every day, like, every time that happens, you’re training that person how to treat you. And if they don’t know there’s a problem, they can’t change. They can’t do anything differently, right? Yeah.

I quoted something similar to that. I was like, People treat you the way you treat yourself. If you treat yourself with no respect, don’t expect when you’re not being respected; you don’t have barriers set up and allow people to roll over you continually. Then you’re going to be rolled over. That’s just the fact of the matter. 

So, I had to go through a lot to get to this point because I was. A people-pleaser. You know, wanting to do all of that, who got let down at the end of the day, this guy? Once you know better, you do better. I value my time and energy a whole lot differently.

Yeah, it’s it makes a huge difference.

What I think a lot of people might not know and understand is that everything that we do, no matter what the thing is, Is about us managing our energy through the thing, right?   We all look at our calendar and see things you’re excited about that will build you up, and you look at your calendar. 

You see some of those things that will tear you down, and you look at them, and you’re just like, I’m not looking forward to them. This has dwindled and will continue to do so. Drained by the End of the day, you know I can do one of these a day when these show I can do five a day like this gives me energy. This fills me up. This gets me excited. 

And I can go all day long when I’m doing the things that give me energy. You can see these things, right? We see some entrepreneurs who love everything and are highly energetic. They’re doing this for about 26 hours out of a 24-hour day. But they’ve only been, you know, asleep for ten of them. Like, whatever the numbers are. They’re gaining energy and looking better every day because they’re doing that thing. There are people like that. You see out there that they may be dragging their feet, and their shoulders are slumped, and they look like they haven’t slept in 30 years and only 24. 

Managing your energy is the way that it goes. If you don’t look at it in that context, you’ve got a tank. This is 168 hours every week. Are you getting, you know, are you getting 30 relationships done in that week? Are you getting 4? Do you have one relationship sucking all the energy out of your tank weekly? How do you tell those people, like, Hey, man, time out? I’ve had enough. This is no longer serving me. I’m not serving you. It’s only one-sided like you have. It would be best to cut out to get people as you change them.

Indeed, yes, sir. I cut out a lot of many family associates, you know that I was because, like, once you learn, you learn yourself, you know, and you really, truly love yourself. You know your worth. So, I realize that people don’t love you like I do feel what I’m saying. 

So, if I say I got you, I get you. You know, I’ll give you my last. I’ve done that before and seen that I will go a mile for somebody who won’t cross the street for me. So, with that being said, it makes it that much easier just to say, I’ll ghost somewhere. I’m not going to lie to you. I’ll ghost you for my peace. They’re like, I haven’t heard them say what I’m like. Yeah, because the only time we talk is When I’m messaging you,

Yes, yes.

So, once I realize that I’m the one that’s sending those good mornings, and, hey, how’s everything going? And I realized that that wasn’t my energy. So, if your energy isn’t pouring into me, if it’s, you know, if it’s always leaving me empty over there, you know? So, I’m like, it’s got to be reciprocal.

You have to reciprocate. That energy, man. So, if it’s not like that, I’m talking about family. Like I had to, they know you like Dang; cut your cousin and you. Yes, I did. Because it was no longer my purpose. Just because family blood makes family, but sheesh, man, I’m a divine connection sent from God. They are on your tribe. The people that, you know, were the people I was expecting throughout this journey. To get it. You know, I don’t get it. And the people that get it are you.

Be like God. Dang, I didn’t know that you would be repping me. You know this and that. It’s. Yeah, man, you have.

It’s a big deal, it’s a big deal. A lot of people Don’t underestimate, understand, and recognize. Let’s say undersize. That’s a new word.

Understand. I was like, OK, I’m going to. I’ll go there. Sleep before God. Yeah. And he elevated me. Today, I was like, OK. 

It is under styles. That will be newer to write down. Get that on Urban Dictionary next year?

Do that.

Yep, yep. I have to write that one. 

Everyone’s on their journey. And as things change, right, education level changes, relationship status changes? Maybe you have kids and a good new job. Maybe you must be in a new city, where everything changes and evolves. 

There are people there who will fall out of your life, and you will fall out of people’s lives along the way. And really, this is the hard part of it: recognizing what. Needs to. Done. When I got stationed in Oklahoma City, I was in the military. My wife and I are from the same town in northern Minnesota; for d all our vacations, especially early on, we just go up there to see people and family. 

And so, we’re driving close to 900 miles to get there. And it’s a town, right? It’s like 12/13 thousand people. It’s not hard. Or long to get around town. When you tell people you’re coming home, hey, we’re coming home. We’re going to be at the farm and, you know, drop by and say, you know what? What day of the week works best for you? 

Oh, man, I’m working all week. Oh, man, yeah, sorry. You’re working all week. You’re working 12 hours a day. You’re working 8 – 8. I get it. I know. I could have it at 5:00. I was like, so the other four hours. I’m like 2 miles from you. We didn’t want to hang out and chat for 20–30 minutes. See the kids grab a taco or Anything, and they’re like. Oh man, it’s time to do the work. This week is just too brutal. I drove 900 miles, and you won’t drive 2 miles across. 

My wife would always make these extravagant plans, have the whole week written out, and pencil people in and this, that, and the other. And I’m like, babe, we’ve got to stop doing this. Like we’re coming home, we’re spending more energy on our vacation than ever. Getting back in return, like we chill back to work. We need a vacation from our vacation. 

Eventually, I told us, babe, I’m not doing all this, and she’s like, but his family went to see family. I’m like, they can drive out to the farm, which is 2 miles out of town, just as easily as we can drive in. I am not running all over the damn city and the damn countryside to all these people. They can’t give us 20 minutes unless we happen to show up at their work break or something. It’s a hard conversation to have, but it happens. It needs to happen. 

If you’re listening to this, check with me on Instagram @podcastTitan, and send me a message if you heard this. If we’re talking about this discussion about, you know, setting boundaries and having people serve you and you serving people, give us a comment. Shout out to us, ask, and tell us, Is this good? Is this bad? Have you had to cut anyone out of your life? When did you set boundaries for yourself? I want to. No, I want to know.

As you said, man, I’ve been living in Norman for the last 13 years, and Oklahoma people act like Oklahoma City, with five ” friends ” I had. I was like a man who lived in Norman for 13 years. And you all act as if I invited you all. But I was driving to Dallas. I was just because I’m moving back to the city. Keep the same energy as that. You had it like when I was in Norman. When I’m back in the city, because I haven’t gotten used to being alone, I don’t.

I get it. I get stuck in a rut. I get stuck in your routine. I get that life is doing a pretty good job of kicking everyone’s *** regularly. I get it. You know, but I had a buddy fly over the States from Bahrain. The guy I met out there had this little trip set up, and he was going to go from Kansas City to Wichita to Denver or something. And well, like 2 1/2, three hours from me. I was like, when will you be in Wichita, man? I’ll come up and grab some tacos with you. He said, “Really”?

I was like, yeah, like, you flew. Eight thousand miles from Bahrain, from the Middle East to the middle of the country I can least drive to, I grabbed lunch with them, and we hung out for 5–6 hours. Then I drove back. I want to see the people. I want to see my people. I want to see it. People who want to see me You know, why wouldn’t you? Why wouldn’t you?

You would think that, but Common sense isn’t all common anymore, so I don’t know. So yeah, I’ve been learning and taking advantage of keeping my energy and myself protected. Because the energy vampires are real, I’m not you.

I’m telling you. Yeah, they really can be right. If you’re in a job, position, relationship, or an area of the country that you’re just not OK with, I’m not a fan of running away from your problems, but sometimes you have to. Make a change. 

Sometimes you are like, you know what the opportunities dried up here, or enough bridges were burned, or whatever the case was. Sometimes, you get a good start for yourself, and it’s scary. It can be. 

I’ve moved fifty times in my life. It’s not too scary for me now, but you better believe the last, the 1st, 20 or 30. We’re kind of scary, you know. It can be all over the place, different countries, different parts of this country, but different parts of the world. But when you get there, you realize that. They’re just people like you and me. They just dress a little differently and talk a little differently. 

They still care about their family and want to eat well. I still want the kids to do better. They still want to feel reasonably safe and secure. It doesn’t matter, you know. Looking at the screen now, you’ll notice that Sam and I do not look much alike.

Not at all. We are brothers, though.

We don’t. I’m 58/59 and Pudgy, and I bet you, Sam, can dunk on me. So like. It’s what it’s like. You’re all in basketball, which is probably my favorite sport. I am the worst at absolutes. Crappiest is probably basketball short. Wide-frame guy

Right.

It’s just not designed for me, and I’m just not designed for it, and that’s OK, but we can always find some level of connection. You can always find something to talk about that gets you excited. You can always find something, even though I’m not a basketball guy as a player. I can still enjoy the Oklahoma City Thunder. I can still enjoy the Oklahoma Kings. I can still check out the stats. You know, Shaq versus Kobe or Jordan versus LeBron, whatever that stuff is, I enjoy the heck out of it, but man, I’m just not playing that game. You know what?

Yes, Sir. And I understand that completely, but it doesn’t matter as long as we have—you know, we have podcasting in common; we have whiskey in common. So, we got military and common as well. So, once you start looking at things from different perspectives, you know, and put the sports. Outside of it, we’re a lot more common than we think. You know what I mean? But you have to take that. You have to take that first step. You know what I mean? 

When you sent me the Text about Toastmasters, I thought it would be. I didn’t know … I thought he would be eating toast. I didn’t know what was happening initially, but I’m grateful for Suzette’s help. She is amazing, and you’ve been doing your thing, man. As I said, I wanted to elevate my work, especially with podcasting. Here is the podcast Titan. Do you know what I mean? 

So. Thank you for that because we still have work to elevate podcasts and networks. So I see what your ward is over there, hey. I’m coming from mine. I have to give you one. I have to give myself one. I have to get one. I have to give me one of those.

Looking forward to the day, my friend, looking forward to the day, tell us, tell us a little bit about your military service, and then if. People you interacted with for the first time, like how they were different or changed your perspective on what you thought it would be, either meeting a group or just people in the military.

I was in the Air Force. I did a short stint. I never, ever want to be in the military. But life was life, and I was married to a young man, and my ex-wife was pregnant. So, I am 20 years old. Well, I’m 19 years old and looking for a purpose. I was in college, had a little job at 7:11, and thought I was making decent money but not enough to provide for a family. So yeah, my best friend mentioned the Air Force to me. Dante was in the service already.

It’s not as bad as you think. Convince me to sign up. I was born and raised in Oklahoma City. Immediately throw them on a flight to San Antonio. Now, I’m at Lake Clinic down in San Antonio. And then, you know, going to San Angelo, TX, for Goodfellow Air Force Base for Firefighter Academy training and living for a different cause. I was married, so I got to Live off-post, have my family, and do everything. 

I live in a community where, for starters, in the East side, Oklahoma City, everybody looks like me. So, I want to go to San Angelo, TX, and see people who look like me but don’t speak English. They were like, whoa.

I was walking through the mall. I was walking through Walmart; the first time I saw a can of Pepsi, it said Sí on it. I’m a Pepsi Sí, just like Pepsi Yes, Spanish, as I was like, what? But nobody spoke English down there. That was a culture shock. 

And then, you know, my first duty station was Pope Air Force Base, North Carolina. So, we were on Fort Bragg’s Army base, so it was different. But I was nervous, you know, because It’s a new state. I’m from North Oklahoma, North Carolina, so I’m on the coast now, 30–40 minutes from Fayetteville, NC, and an hour and a half from Myrtle Beach, SC. So, I met some good people from different walks of life. 

I go from Oklahoma City, to now I’m in training, and as I said, my first well, my bunkmate was from Montana and, as you said, we don’t look alike, and he was like, hey man, from my tent, I’ve never seen a black person before us. So, it was like a shock to him. And just so, I kind of helped elevate his knowledge of that. We are the same brother. I play video games like you. I do different things, you know? 

So, we all bleed red. You know, we all wanted to, you know, represent our country. The best ability, but yeah, the military. I met some grilled, cooked people. Some of my best friends are my firefighter brothers, whom I met in North Carolina. You know my slant for your network logo, my firefighter brother Marcus Cosby. He’s out in Atlanta, GA, right now. He’s a civilian firefighter, but he’s still out there doing his thing. He made my logo for me. He’s a graphic designer. You know, being. People don’t understand the fire department. You only work about 13 days a month. So, you work 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You got a lot of free time, so I love that—job, you know.

What I loved about getting into the military was everything you thought you knew about a group of people, a culture, or a yeah. You hear a joke about something; then you meet someone you like. It doesn’t make any sense, right? Every new person you meet just kind of Expands your view of what? Life is like what other people have to offer. What do people think about it? You know, when you meet someone, you categorize them in your brain because your brain is designed to keep you safe. 

So, you can put a label on it. And then you meet them, and it’s almost always different than whatever label you put in for those little first impressions other than the ones where your stomach is crawling. Every other first impression, as far as I’m concerned, is wrong. Right, like.

Yeah, yeah. Every hour. Yeah, yeah.

It is like the military, right? I will be around multiple people because it’s like a big melting pot. People are from everywhere. Marcus is living in Atlanta, but he’s from West Virginia. I’m like, whoa, I didn’t. I knew they had black people there, and then my other friend, he was from Mississippi, you know.

Everybody is from everywhere, man. Like you said, you and Minnesota. So, like, I knew a guy from Minnesota. So yeah, people are from everywhere. So, it is a culture shock. You know, it was a major culture shock. For me, because, like, wow, this Is wild. Yeah. Salute to you! For retiring, I’m like, I’m too. I’m…

I declined A promotion to retire. They gave me four. I was like, Ah, it’s not you, me or me. It’s you in two weeks. I had to leave because I hadn’t been here in two weeks. I am very thankful for the time and the stuff I did when I was young. They always ask, well, how do you know? When it’s time, and like you know, when. It’s time, right? You know, it’s in your mind if something happens, and you’re like, Yep, that’s it. We’re tipped one way or the other. It’s time for me to go. 

So, if I stay, I will hurt you all, or, you know, whatever. It’s your will to serve for a day or 30 Years, knowing what it means to be part of that brotherhood, that military family, and what. That is a whole crazy different kind of life. It makes me very thankful for my time. I’m really thankful for your time, 

What’s the classiest way? You’ve found a way to respond. Thank you for your service. You found a creative way to come back at that.

I’m like, alright. Man, I’m like, you know, you can’t.

Two-finger salute. That’s it.

Yeah, I’m just getting a little Alright. Thank you very much, and just keep nodding because people have been showing mad love. My favorite holiday is Veteran’s Day, but I’ll get my grub on everywhere.

In Oklahoma, there are some places to eat. Yeah, absolutely. And none of them code for Yeah, but they’re available.

No, but they have to eat, yeah. It’s so funny.

I heard it someplace along the way. I heard someone saying, Thank you for your service. And they said you’re worth it. And I was like, oh, I like that. I adopted that. That’s my standard phrase. If someone says, hey, you know, thank you for your services; you’re worth it. And it doesn’t matter who that person is. It doesn’t matter what they do. It doesn’t matter if they’re, you know, good dudes or bad dudes. Like, none of that stuff matters. 

You know, serving the country means keeping the American experiment going as part of that and being in service to that. And there are many people in America that I’m afraid I have to disagree with. And there are a lot of people that they like. 

Travis, your opinion stinks. Whatever The thing is, the great part about it is that we can have that diversity. And still get things done. Get things accomplished. Grow as friends; grow as people do all this crazy stuff. And I thought that you’re one person away from whatever your next thing is—your next business venture, your next relationship, your next $1,000,000, your next, you know, new best friend that you’re going to hang out with every weekend. Like you’re one person away. One introduction away from a whole new life: If you’re open to that kind of people, it will be there before you know it.

Yeah, it is, man. You never know who someone is or what they’re going through. So, how could your journey help them? Or, like you said, you never know somebody because some people are. I’m going to be honest. Everybody’s kind of not going to say prejudice, but they are judging. We are, as a people, judging. Like, first impressions are a … 

I ensure I’m trying to be, as I won’t say try. I work on being the best version of myself, so it’s natural whenever I am around somebody. It’s organic because You know. You never know; men like to write down and jot down everything you know about our accolades and resumes. You’re like, Dang, you did all that. 

So I wouldn’t have known him like you; I have a podcast. I mean, a network of about 30 different businesses. It’s wild to me to think about where we started and to say that. So. And you can help people. And I’ve been helping. 

So it’s great, man. It’s just the feeling. So, just to help people, man, there’s so much negativity in the world. Man. I just want to make sure I’m That positive light, regardless of what it is, because you never know somebody like on my show, as you said on EMP, strangers. I don’t know these people, but I’m asking them. 

On a scale of 1 to 10, mentally, where are you today? You’re not going to commit suicide on my watch and be like, Well, I went through this—whole 24 hours, and nobody once asked me how I was. So, where are you today, Travis? One to 10 mentally. Today, I’m 8.

I’m pretty damn close to 10. I’m having a phenomenal day. I’ve had a couple of shows today, interviews, spent some time with my boy and spent time with my wife and the pets and animals. You know, it just has to be. Today, you know, just be with people. I love it. I love that feeling. I love that energy. 

I had a fantastic conversation yesterday with Mark SA Smith, and he’s going through it now. Now, but you. He said he knows the energy I bring everywhere I show up. He felt it. He said, Thank you for that energy. I was like, I know it’s for you; I can feel it. Yes, yes. I love that stuff. Love it. I love it to death. But you and I both know that there are struggling people out there. They’re in it right now. It’s a black cloud. It falls them around like Eeyore. It’s a thing, right? What advice would you have? What encouragement would you have for people going through it now, Sam?

I would just say keep being dangerous and continue to elevate because when I say dangerous, you know you could say be safe all day, and safe will get you killed safely. Forget what you overlooked, I say. Continue to be dangerous in whatever area you want to go. If you’re a podcaster, keep working. If you’re a basketball player, keep trying and keep working. You know, take a photographer. Whatever you do, ensure you continue to do it, no matter what. You know, it’s going to be a lot. Ups and downs, highs and lows, valleys and peaks—just keep your eye on the prize, man. 

Instead of trying to do a whole 360-degree change, just work on changing 1% daily. Do you feel me? You do that for 100 days straight. You got a new, upgraded person, an updated version of yourself. So, uh, yeah. Just keep going, man. Just keep. Just keep pushing. Don’t ever give up.

I love that man. You know, a song out there says he’s going through hell. Keep on going. And it’s a great song; it’s fun. It’s catchy, but so many people get into it; they’re in hell, and then they stop, stay there, and set up shop. Don’t set up shop. Keep moving; keep getting through that. I mean, come on, like. I can’t be doing that stuff. It’s it. It is amazing to see where people get stuck.

Yeah, yeah. Why would you give up after getting so far? It’s like a road going back. Is it so much farther than if you just keep on going, and your breakthrough will be right there? You just have to have faith that it’s going to happen. Yeah, just keep pushing.

I am fully with you, man. If you love this conversation, you love hanging out with Sam. Connect with Sam. What’s the Instagram handle for the slaying and chill network? What is that? Is that the one?

Yep, SLA.AND.chill.

SLA.and.chill.

Yeah, the other one. The pop, yeah.

Connect with me. We will talk.

Please send a message, interact with this stuff, and have them on your show. Try to be a guest on Sam. Show, please. Please, please. Stay, keep being dangerous, and keep elevating. Thanks so much for being my guest today, Sam.

Yes, Sir. Thank you very much for your time. Thank you. Thanks very much for the opportunity.