We are all born Titans with Masako Mai

Hey, welcome back to the show. I’m Travis. That’s Carol. And apparently, we got a guest named Maskoka , which is a really cool name. Masako is an Army veteran, mathematician, and health and fitness educator. She’s the former WBA welterweight boxing champion and she’s the tech founder of Mommy, Mommy B, and me. Maskoka how You doing today?

Oh, I’m fantastic. I’m blessed and highly favored, right? That’s what I grew up here and blessed and highly favored. And that’s how I live my life. Because it’s the Royal and I and that’s how we’re Choosing to live fantastically. 

Blessed, blessed, and highly favored, I love it. You’ve got a crazy story. We met recently at a little conference down in Houston and you were like, yeah, I’m a former boxing champ and stuff. And I’m like, you’re a boxing champion. Well, I got to hear about this. I really want to know a lot of stuff about you. But first, I really want to know what it about you is that makes you tight and lets you do all of those things. 

You know, it’s interesting. What makes me a Titan is, first of all, I believe that we’re all born Titans. However, it’s whether we know that we’re born Titans and I feel as though whenever you have gone through. A lot of “darkness” because when you are the light, you’re attracting both light and dark, and oftentimes when you experience things that will attempt to drag. You through the mud. Right, like. You know, just heinous acts, sexual trauma, kidnapping. Held at gunpoint. You know anything that you could think of that would cause somebody to wonder, you know, why me? 

I think that’s what makes me a Titan because of all of the things that have happened in my life. I still am able to be grateful for those opportunities because I feel like a human being. We’re actual spiritual beings having a human experience, and earlier on I, you know, I lost my father. He transitioned from this world when I was just about to be 7 years old. 

In the household as little girls our fathers are covering. Right, Mommy, Daddy and my mother lost her husband My father to cancer, he too is an Army veteran and growing up, being born on his birthday, always hearing your mother say you’re just like your dad. You’re just like your dad. It’s like, what does that mean? Because when you talk about my dad, I was looking at her and I saw this sadness on her face. 

So, what makes me a Titan is being able to look at someone, listen with my heart, see the sadness in their face, and hold the mirror up to them so they could see God within themselves, so they could rise above whatever fray they’re experiencing at that moment to reclaim their victory and be like, hey, I’m here, I’m breathing. There’s something for me to do. That’s what makes me a Titan. Having the ability to see into someone and see God In them, wherever they are. 

That is a fantastic way to look at life. I know there’s no one on this camera right now that isn’t without their own mountain or mountain range of trauma, so it’s really wonderful to see how we all have used those things to really improve our lives and improve the lives of others around us, it’s always wonderful to see. I know Carol’s going to ask you about boxing. I’ll let her jump into that. 

When we were reading her bio, we spoke earlier, obviously before we started hitting the record button. But yeah, when I saw that you got into boxing. I was like, I need to know how that came about, Was this after you were in the military? 

No, this was before I was in the military. And I believe that all of our life situations set us up for the success that we’re going to walk into. I always say alignments before assignment. So when I was in college, I was running an entertainment complex and I had gone. 

Entertainment complex? 

Yeah, and entertainment complex. So, I went to College in Washington, DC so an entertainment complex, actually there were two merged under one organization. And so, you know Jay-Z, timberland, Missy Elliott if you could think of them like they’re, they’re like the Titans in the industry now, they were coming. To our entertainment complex and that’s also it kind of… I’m going to tell you this. Story because we’re here, right? 

So, I was reading the entertainment complex and I had. I was doing these runway fashion shows, and I was really into helping individuals meet their goals because I was raised in a household where my mother was always like. Well, how are you going to do that? How are you going to do that? She taught me resilience early on; instead of Saying no “how Are you going to do that? “

So being in Washington, DC, having an entertainment complex as my umbrella, my covering, I was able to have myself in a situation where I could be the media liaison and I could be the woman in charge, the manager of the business Intelligence asset where I could do whatever it is that I wanted to do within these two establishments, the DC live and Platinum Club, they were across the street from one another on 9th Street right around the corner from the White House.

Within that, you know, I was doing these runway shows, and I had a troop of men and women models where I would actually my partner and I, we were the first people to get full body paint on these runway models. With endorsements from these major designers where we’re these two college students. Having these runway shows, putting our models in a position where they were getting marketing expertise, they were getting headshots, they were getting work, working with major designers so they could launch their careers to be in, fashion if they wanted runway shows, actors, whatever it is. 

And so, I was in that. In the thick of that right during my college years, I had gone to an event where the guest speakers there were Muhammad Ali, Angela Bassett, and Bill Cosby. And I believe that was my first encounter with the idea of boxing, but I did not know that at that time. 

So, once I graduated college and I was like in college, I was, I was pre-Med. I thought I was going to go to Med school. Right. And so, I feel like everybody, everybody is not equipped to be a counselor, because of whatever it is that we’re going through. If we cannot set aside what we’re going through to advise the people that we’re looking at for their best Outcome then, then remove ourselves from the job.

 And so, doctor, Ola. It’s funny how we remember these names. I didn’t have everything. I didn’t have everything that I needed to go to Med school. I had some I was some classes short and instead of her saying. Uh, what do you want to do? She was like what, your Plan B? And I’m somebody that does not believe in Plan B’s. But when you look at it, not now… Hindsight 2020, you know, being up all night, being on the crew team, getting a degree, a degree in mathematics Med school.

Here’s the thing, your path is never really clear because I too was in Med school and didn’t end up being a doctor. So, I get it. Like life throws you these are kind of like obscure things that you go there’s no way, and then you make a Career out of it and you’re. Like, how did that happen? Out of all the things I was destined or in my mind destined to do, I’m not doing that. It is. But it’s so much fun because if you go with the flow of it, all of a sudden, all these different Opportunities open up that could not have happened. If you hadn’t taken that sharp left turn. 

Yeah, but I had not learned the lesson yet. And so after graduating and, you know, like, well, OK, So What’s your Plan B? What are you going to do? I was like, Plan B. What are you talking about? So, I moved to New York. Right. Just, you know, a couple of hours from DC moved to New York. I’maAt Central Park West and W 96th St. 

I enrolled in Columbia, but only for organic chemistry. Because I’m like I’m toying with the idea of post taking the post-back program. But while taking organic chemistry as you know I’m going to snowboard in the evenings. You know, I’m. I’m going to. I’m going to London. Like I’m like really not focused like I’m going to Fashion Week. Like I’m doing my thing. Right, I’m doing my thing. It’s like Med school is so like what? Being stuck in this classroom. It is really it really but. 

It wasn’t you. 

It wasn’t who I was, and it’s definitely not who I am, and I feel like I’m a doctor in my own right because as we continue on in the story, I feel like we’re all healers. And when we can look into one another and see that God’s self, then we could, you know, kind of tweak a few things so we can grow and prosper. Who we were called to be.

And so… How I became a boxer so uh a friend girl of mine had met a guy online and she was going to go to Greece. I’m like, you’re going to go to Greece. Why are you going to go to Greece? This girl, she’s 6-foot tall, blonde hair, blue eyes. You know what America calls called? I was like, girl, why do you need to go to Greece? The guy that doesn’t make sense to me and you know, I have the capacity to say, you know what I’m going to. I’m going to go with you. I’m going to go too. I’m going to go with you. I’m not going to allow you to go to Greece by yourself. And so, I went with her, and uh boy, were they shocked to see me when we got off that plane. They had other plans for her. So, Cyprus, an island off the Greece. It’s occupied.

My girlfriend’s from. 

So, you know, it’s occupied by Greek and Turkish territory.

 Yeah, yeah. 

So, they had other plans for her. So, when we got off the plane. And this guy that. She had been corresponding with was 20-year senior in the picture. That he had been providing for. 

Her catfish. 

Yeah, His mother had had a pub in the town square. So, this area, within Cyprus was a heavily trafficked area. Yes, heavily trafficked area trafficking women from, you know, Bulgaria, Russia, you, you know, the Eastern European countries, and now had I not arrived, they were going to have an American 6-foot blonde hair, blue eyes, American girl.

Oh my God. 

What’s going to be was going to be? 

Thank God you went with her! 

So, I feel like I’m always somebody, no matter what anybody else says. I’m always somebody that allows my spirit to guide me. Everybody could be telling me. What are you doing? That sounds crazy it.

You get feelings, though. 

Makes no sense. 

You get those feelings. 

I know its spirit is telling. Me. And so you know, oftentimes we’ll find that you know when you’re assisting someone from being, “saved” from a situation. Sometimes they don’t necessarily want to be saved, sometimes they want to find themselves in situations where they’re used and abused. 

So, within our time, we didn’t. We didn’t leave immediately, we got ourselves an apartment and we got jobs. And so, we’re living our life. OK. And she, you know, like when you’re in college, we all have habits in college, right? But once you graduate college, you don’t do the things that you once did when because you become different. We become different human beings and we don’t do the things that we once did. When we grow, when we mature. 

Hopefully, yeah. Hopefully grow out of it.

Right. And so, she got herself. She had some habits that she continued to participate in, and they became very toxic. And so, within that space, you know, I went to, I went to Prague, and I went to Jordan, and I went to Egypt. 

So, I’m traveling. I’m living my best life and she’s got a job at a pub and she’s deciding that she may want to stay and I’m like, well, I don’t want to stay. And within that time frame, I’m and it’s OK. You know, I feel like if we’re blessed to be able to have the capacity to do things, then, you know, we’re blessed. And I feel like tools in our toolbox, they’ll always be replenished because we got to live with them with an abundance mindset because we’re taking care of them, right? 

If I believe in God. I was raised that way. Granted, when my dad died. The reason why I really pushed the idea of spirituality and what is this concept of God and who am I within my relationship with God was in hopes of seeing my father again. This was the complete driving force of all of the good in my life, the right to see my father again. 

And so, in Cyprus, I fell prey, where I began to be swindled. And she was participating in this.

Oh no. 

Wait for a second, was she Participating in getting you swindled? 

Yes, I feel I feel like that. I feel like that and so it’s like. 

Oh, OK. 

I’m like, wait a minute. Hold on, stop. 

You were coming to help her. 

I was coming to help her. And now I feel like I was prey… Not to say that that’s how it started out, but. I feel like you are someone that needs the covering of a male figure. And you’re more easily manipulated than the one that is on your team. You now begin to manipulate them. 

And out of the kindness of my heart, I’m giving I’m giving freely. I’m giving freely. And then once you start you all, you guys, your children, as well as you have children, I’m sure. So once things begin to, you know, the ebb and flow of life and you start calling home. Asking for things. Oh, wire me this… Wire me that and they’re like, OK, are you OK? What are you getting yourself? What are you involved in? You’re not involved in any illegal things are because where your funds like? Why are you calling it money? And so, I was getting swindled and this is how I became a boxer.

I had I was living in an extended stay near the water in leukosis Nicosia anyway, and the extended stay guys like, you know, you’ve been here a while. Are you OK? Does somebody owe you money I don’t know if you guys, but I Felt…. I felt ashamed. I didn’t want to tell this man that I had given money to someone, and they said that they’d give it back. 

Well, here’s the problem with this we project our values onto other people like. These are things that we wouldn’t do to others. So, when we loan money, we expect that they’re going to pay us back when they. Say that because we would. But the problem is we project our values onto other people hoping that they are individuals. We are hoping they actually are, but they aren’t. So, when you get stuck in a situation like this and what do you do? Of course, your shame is involved. 

And so, you know, here I am, you know, like, OK, what am I going to do? And I met a friend while I was in Cypress. Really handsome young man.

Oh God, 

he’s pretty.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 

You know because I feel like we, we, you still wherever you are. At least for me, you know, we’re going to make friends like I have people around the world I can call right now. It’s like I have friends. I have global friends. 

And so, you know, just being able to go out and, you know, go horseback riding or go to a concert, play backgammon, you know, just do the things that we would be doing in whatever city we lived. 

But Masako, do you think that was a distraction from what was actually happening at that moment?

Me?

Just doing stuff. Even though you’re stuck there, it was almost like a distraction to kind of not. Not really grasp but in fact that. 

Well, well, the interesting thing, is I wasn’t technically stuck. I mean, I still had funding because I can after leaving there I met some people at the airport, and we went to different places. This was how I within that, within that room, was asking myself, what am I going to do? When I get back to the United States, what am I going to do? I was going to go back to DC. I wasn’t going to go back to New York. Am I going to do it now? I was born in California. 

So am I. 

Sunny Cali.. Sunny, Cali No matter what, no matter where we are in the world, people like. You’re not from here. 

No, I get the same thing.

Yeah, you’re not from here, are you? 

Both California. I’m out. 

Yeah, different. Wow. Wow. Wow. 

Katy Perry song, Katy Perry Song Cali girl’s man. 

All day, all day, every day. Well, wake up with the sunshine, sunshine in our hearts. And so how I became a boxer… Muhammad Ali came on TV doing something and I was like, ah, I’m going to become a boxer. 

Just like that. 

Just like that, just like that.

Oh my God. I’m going to become a boxer.

And you know, like that’s why it’s we how many times have we heard be intentional in your living be intentional in your living. And so that’s what I did when I came back to the United States, I moved to California. I moved back to California. 

But what was it about seeing Muhammad Ali that you’re like, I want to do that. What was the thing you didn’t just see him in, like boxing? Oh, yeah, that’s the thing.

I wanted to be an athlete. I wanted to be an athlete and so my, my reasoning and all this. So, when I was in, so when I was in school, I had an interesting childhood because I’ve been working since I was eight years old, right? I had a paper route when I was eight. When I was 11 and 12, I was there with you guys. Remember those people going door to door selling things through magazines? 

Yes

And so, I was one of Those people who are going to door selling things, selling things in magazines.

Get it now.

And then when I went to school, ohh, I also danced behind rap groups like me and my sister and another girl. We danced behind rap groups, so I’ve always been active. And I like the idea of “lights, camera action”. I like being in front of the camera, like growing up before Dad passed away as we’d always go to music festivals in Catalina, we were always at Venice Beach. And so, we were very active in the music scene, our family, you know, just know a lot of musicians, right? Music makes the world go around. 

And so, my whole thing was I said I wanted to be a boxer, but I feel like I also wanted to get back to where it all began because when my dad died, my mom moved from there. And I feel like we didn’t. Have the proper way to grieve whenever anyone and this is this, I’m shouting this to the world. You got to grieve. Do not separate yourself from the environment unless it’s a toxic environment like you got to grieve. 

I feel like she had stayed in the home where Dad, you know, where we all live. Like it was a nice home. Drive up the gate around it. You know, nice backyard, nice front yard, you know. You got your neighbors. We’re very community oriented. We had our church groups and played tennis like she was very active, we were a very active family with other family members on the weekend that them playing tennis, US roller skating, and picnics like we were very active. And I feel like she did herself as well as us a disservice when he died. 

Well, but I think for her, the pain of being there was probably too much for her and she needed to separate, I mean. For her that. Was the only way she could continue. With you. You know and that’s.

I agree. I mean hindsight 20/20 because I feel I feel like. You know, each of us does our best we can with what we have periods.

So your thought is, we had taken from this great community and I’m going to go back there and punch people in the face.

Yeah. So well, well, well keep this because my whole thing was, I’m going to go back there; I’m going to reconnect with my family members and friends and everybody that knew my dad. Because I’m just like my dad. 

So I need to know what this is. What is this feeling of being just like my dad and you know? Dad, my dad is an Army veteran graduate of UCLA with a bachelor’s degree in Humanities master’s degree, MBA and JD. 

So this is a man I met all of his friends. All of their friends when we were younger. The samples, the OJ’s. Earth, wind, and fire, like all of these greats. I was able to connect with them. Stevie Wonder. It’s like I’m able… I was able to connect to where they left off, right? I was a child then, and I never got to see any of that because my dad was very strict. Adults are with adults and the kids are with kids, and rightfully so. Like adult has no issue and still to this day, I’m like when adults are trying to have conversations with Kids, I’m like. No, we don’t do that. You can’t just talk to someone’s kids. You talk to the adult and then if they allow the interaction so you know. 

So, the idea was, what am I going to do with my life? And I know I love fitness; cause fitness has always been the foundation of all things for me. With regard to Everything that I experienced as I ran, I was running. I ran a marathon before I graduated high school. I had a personal trainer, whenever I went on my Junior high tour. I would walk. I would. I would walk a lot and I’d walk to these tracks, and I’d run around the track.

So, fitness has always been my foundation and so I wanted to get paid for doing something that I was going to need to do anyway. What could I do? Where I know that I’m going to excel. Box! Always do something that you’re great at. I’m undefeated. Do something that you’re great and I know, just like I knew. Then you know what? What can I do? Where can I excel? I wasn’t going to go and uh, join no, no WNBA. I hadn’t played basketball since I was in 7th grade. And plus, I don’t like getting my hands dirty.

You know what I mean? So, second.

You get your hands dirty boxing. Come on. 

Well, no I have. I have raps. 

Tape, wraps, gloves. 

Yeah, yeah. I have reps and so also, wait a minute, wait a minute. 

You’re still sweaty. 

This also is the fabric of who I am. Also, as a boxer, I have myself to rely on. Being raised in a family where I’m the middle child. Always I’ve always been the person who… Uh, what do you want to do? Wants to do something. All right? Well, let’s do it. That, well, let’s do it. I tend to believe that I’m always going to be put back in the position where I’m supposed to be, so I will step outside of whatever I’m doing for myself to help somebody else up the road, and I’ve always done that. And so, I feel like an individual. Like, OK, this is my time for me. I don’t have to. 

You wanted to shine separately. 

Plus, I feel like I didn’t have a childhood. So, to box… Oh, this is my childhood. This is my opportunity in childhood as an adult. And so, I took it, and then I moved to California. 

I think you’re the only person in history to equate punching people with a face that you know going back into their childhood is a good thing. 

Did it provide the closure that you needed to go back there and learning a little bit about your dad because you were? Yeah, obviously, your mom moved you guys away, but reconnecting with all these people, hearing the stories, and really understanding why that. You know that people were saying you’re so much like your dad.

 

{25:05} Going back to California to learn about the father that passed away.

Yes, yes. Like he’s great, he’s great. And I feel like family is so important, whether it’s the family that we’re born into, our extended family, that we meet, right, our friends that become family. I’m so grateful for them. One of the things that I really enjoyed when I was living in California, boxing was my cousin. You know, we all have relatives that were just alike, and he lives in France now, but he would always play the piano for me when we woke. Up and I was. Oh, that’s right there. 

So sweet.

Likely that’s how that’s living! You get you’re serenaded by the piano when you. Wake up while. You’re preparing to get ready to go out into the World and so. 

It must be a girl thing like you guys both were like uh at the same time and someone plays the piano. 

I just thought it was sweet. it’s just nice that somebody was thoughtful enough to do it. 

Right, right, right. I mean, you know what? I still feel the same way about my friends, that you know Sarah. Sarah made me with the guitar. I have friends here that you know if I go over to their house, they’ll take their guitar off the wall off the hook. And you know, they’ll play the guitar. I’m just somebody that I love, I love music and I feel like music connects us globally. There is no separation with music. It’s a vibe. 

Yeah. It goes over language barriers. It connects everybody. You don’t have… There is no language that needs to be known. It connects everyone. 

You know, that’s actually the primary way other people around the world learn English is by listening to American Music, specifically hip hop, because they’re talking and like, that’s the way life. 

Oh gosh, that’s why they have bad, bad grammar. 

That look, that’s why everybody learns the curse words first. First, not hip-hop. I mean, I love hip-hop. I was dancing behind hip-hop groups when I was in, high school. 

It’s California, man. You know, hip. Hop rap was big, yeah. 

I love. I love hip-hop. I love East Coast hip-hop. I love West Coast hip-hop. I love Russian hip-hop. I love German hip-hop. I love French hip-hop.

What about? What about Atlanta hip-hop? 

Atlanta hip hop. 

Outcast when they came on the scene, it wasn’t East Coast or West Coast. It was their own vibe. 

True. True. 

You know what? You know who? What vibes. And this may be dating me, but you guys know what vibes? The outcast gave me a lakeside fantastic voyage, slide, slide Slippery slide. Yeah, just leave it off. 

You say date yourself. There’s a chance you’re the youngest. There’s none of this call.

I think you might be. 

Yeah. Well, you. Now I get a cast from 27 to 33. 

Oh, you are the youngest Person. 

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so. 

So, you went on with this discovery of yourself, you ended up in California, you start boxing, you meet some of these legends and they say you’re just like your dad. So, what is? It’s about you that is just like your dad.

Ohh, you know I’m going to do everything possible to have peace and harmony in my life and to do whatever comes up to accomplish my goals and to extend a hand if I have something that can help someone become a better version of themselves, I’m going to extend my hand to that.

And I’m always going to laugh. I’m always going to have a good time. No matter what is happening or what one has experienced? I’m not going to allow that to put a rain cloud over my day just like him. It was. It was always a time to shine and party. And so, very positive, no matter what my mom says that he lived like that was his last day. Well, guess what? That’s what I Lived like too. If today is my last day, I’m going to live it exactly like I’m living it today. 

And so, the sadness in your momma’s face was her missing how wonderful your dad was. That’s pretty heartwarming.

Yes, yes, yes. 

She’s still a widow today. She’s going. To be buried next to him in the veteran cemetery. Like and I’m born on his birthday and so that created a special relationship for us growing up too. It’s just. I felt the need and I put this jacket on myself. Nobody else did this. I felt the need to be able to… I have a Jesus complex. You know, I want to fix things. And you know, versus just letting things be, I just … I want everything to be better.

Because I want to. Be an environment where you know it’s. It’s high vibration. And healthy and loving and I just feel like that feels better. 

That’s the reason. 

Yeah, of course. But it’s not always your responsibility either. 

I agree. I learned that since becoming a mother. Since becoming a mother, I’ve learned a phrase that would have done me a great deal of good early in life, and that phrase is “now is not a good time”. Now’s not a good time.

That’s a great way to say no and maintain those boundaries. It’s interesting that you talk about high vibration and helping other people. You’re in the. The reason you’re such a good fit for this show is that you’re in the right room. This is exactly how Carol and I feel everything that we do is so everyone in our alliance can be the best version of themselves. 

Everyone in here says no to energy vampires and crazy people, and we want to just live in this harmony. We want to operate at the highest level in that abundant mindset, and that’s one of the first things that jumped out at me for the reason I wanted to have you on the show. 

The boxing thing was interesting, but it was you know whom You were done at the conference because, so I’m like one of the few guys at this conference. There’s me, Ira, Tom, Josh and Tiago, 5 men. And there was like, what, 60 women there and. 

Yeah, you guys love it. 

I mean, we are of course.

What does a man? What man doesn’t enjoy Being around women? 

But at A at a conference focused on women, sometimes they’re there because they need to have healing and they don’t want to be around guys. And I got it and I totally get it. Don’t blame them. I understand. But it was wonderful that we were able to connect, and we only had a few moments. But there was this instant connection. And that’s the kind of way that Carol and I live our lives like we’re out, we’re doing things, we’re in public, we’re in places and people just, you know, gravitate to us. And you’ll see those people on the fringes that are being repelled because they can’t… 

Very true. 

Their spirit can’t stand to be around something so bright. 

Too bright and shiny. 

Fakes Yeah, yeah. 

Too bright, too bright, and shiny. I wanted to ask you a little bit about this Mommy, Mommy2Be & Me Because it’s an interesting concept because this name was given to you. I want to hear more about that. 

So, Mommy, Mommy2Be & Me was given to me when my daughter was in my belly. And so, I’m like Mommy, Mommy2Be & Me what I found out when she was four months old, it was revealed to me what Mommy, Mommy2Be & Me is. And so, when I woke up that morning, I began to make phone calls and my Mommy, Mommy to be and I am me in the LGBTQ I plus the adoptive parent, the grandparent that became a parent again due to loss. 

And so it’s uh, it’s conscious technology, it’s an application that will provide services and resources for single parents with children 10 and under. And I feel like that happened because I was now going to be going through it. I was now going to be going through something that so many people before me had gone through. But now I was given the gift that I was going to be able to provide an opportunity for them to have a level playing field to grow and prosper. Because of my mindset, because of the experiences that I have already experienced in life, and now that I’m going through it, I can relate. And understand what it is that was needed in my process of becoming a single mom because, you know, nobody ever starts off with the idea. 

Well, some people. But in my history. Nobody, at least for me, let me just speak about myself in my history, the way I have lived my life, the way I have moved around this globe. I could have not ever imagined that I was going to become a single mother, that I would be a single mother. Just the way that. That I live my life. The decisions that I have made to wait so long. To become a mother and then when I’m talking to my friends, you know from around the globe, I’m like. Oh, I’m I. I’m pregnant and I’m pregnant. 

And like, oh my God, I know. This guy must be fascinating. You know he Must be great because of my character; they’re imagining that whoever is going to walk alongside me, must be this phenomenal human being and I still do believe that he’s a phenomenal human being. He just could not continue on my journey with me. 

And so, leading up to me becoming pregnant, you know, now that. I think about it. Like I began preparing to be a mother two years out. And that’s clean eating, clean lifestyle, healthy conversations, the intensity at which I went about my life with, with regard to my physical activity, remember, cause that’s my foundation of all things. My physical activity is sewing into my self-certifications and preparing to shift. Moving, moving out of the space where I’m working with people one-on-one and started thinking bigger picture thinking right. And so. I created a vision board. And on this vision board. I had all of these things right. I had all of these things, this stuff. And I had Michael B Jordan on there. 

I’m picturing a teenage bedroom with posters of pop stars and celebrities on the wall. 

Oh dear God. 

That is what it was? 

It was more. It wasn’t on the it… It wasn’t on my bedroom wall, but. In my experience, anytime I have had a vision. Board party. With the exception of one or two people. The people that I have allowed to participate in this vision board party with me, they have checked off. 

Every box. Boom, boom, boom. 

Like they’re living around the globe. They’re like, man, the soccer, this vision, more party. You’re like. And so, I had my own vision board party. And if you could imagine all of the accouterments of the finest things in life that you that one would imagine, right, whatever those things are for you. And so, I had this vision board. 

And so, one day I asked myself. What does it look like to live my most perfect life? That was it. I left home. I walked to dance class because I also believe that dancing is something that each of us should do because it helps us connect with our inner child. So if we have any issues from childhood that we haven’t healed, we can heal that portion through dance. 

And so, I’m walking to dance class and I like fast cars so. This fast car whoops by me and literally halts after passing me and then makes a U-turn. And pulled in front of me and proceeded to have a conversation saying that they were going where I’m going, convinces me to get into the car and My spirits No, no, don’t get the car. Because now the idea of all of. The all. Of all of every experience that you’ve ever had. That you knew didn’t work out. Like the right red flag? I’m not doing it. I’m not going. I’m not. Doing I’m not doing, it’s like, come on.

I want the same place you want them Same place, so you know. Long story short, I got in the car, and we went to the dance class. That I go to religiously right cause I’m a consistent individual whatever I’m doing I’m doing. It consistently and so a. This guy is… He looks like Michael B Jordan. In the face. He looks like Michael Jordan in the face.

And so all, you know, I realize now he sold me on a wonderful idea. He created an environment. Where I absolutely believed everything, he’s. Aren’t you tired of being single men? Let’s get married. Let’s have a family. Change your last name. I’m like, I actually. I’m not interested in changing my last name, I like my name. Like you know what? I mean, it’s like, and so he’s. Like, oh, you’re going to be mine. You’re going to be mine, like, just telling me everything that I wanted to hear to create an environment where I was all in. I was all in. I was all in. He created an environment where I was all in. I wasn’t second-guessing anything. I’m like, all right, if we’re going to do this, let’s do this. And so, we began to practice making babies. 

For the viewers. At home, I’ll let you Google that one.

Right. 

We began to practice making babies. You know, as time is passing, I’m realizing that he doesn’t have the type of character that I want in my life, right, like all of the I’m all in as I began to you know what? Maybe I’m not all in. Maybe I don’t. Want this, you know. 

Was this the end Up being the father?

I have let myself continue with the story because whenever anybody tells me, let.

I just share. And so. 

God is her father. He is a donor. He’s never met her. When I told him that we were pregnant, he said that this wasn’t… This isn’t what he wants. What if I decide to do it, I’m going to be doing it on my own. I could expect nothing from him. And then he got nasty. Like, why would you want to? Why would you want? 

And I’m like, I’m sorry. I’m doing this. I’m doing this. You don’t have to be a part of it. The idea that somebody would imagine that I would choose another human over a living entity in my body is absolutely absurd to me. Like, do you think you’re so self-important? And to this day, I’m grateful for him because he set the scene for it to be the most perfect situation for us to bring her into this realm. 

And so, I’m absolutely grateful to him. Like he was that person on the vision board. But I did not have the substance to back it up. I can say I didn’t have the emotional IQ to go back and forth with him. If you say this is what you want, absolutely. This is what you want you will. 

Believe him, yeah. 

Not right. I believe in both instances I believed you and you said let’s do this. We’re going to be a family. We’re going to have a baby. It’s going to be the most perfect life. We’re going to do this together. I believed him when he said that and when he said I don’t want this. You’re going to do this on your own. You’re not going to get anything from me. I believed him as well, and so to me, he is a donor. 

Also, yeah. 

He’s never met her. He doesn’t pay any support. I’m grateful to him. I don’t have any will ill will for him. I wish him the best. I hope that he reaches all of his dreams and goals in life. Like I bless him with all of the love and light that there is to have. 

Yeah, you don’t harbor ill will toward him at all. 

At all at all. I wish him the best because.

By the way he gave you an amazing daughter. 

He gave me a gift and I and I feel like that was the response to that question. What does it look like for me to live my most perfect life and in so? Mommy, Mommy2Be & Me was birthed because God is her father and God gave me literally that you know that small, that small voice in our head and in her heart with Mommy, Mommy2Be & Me because I would have ever, ever imagined that, that what I’m experienced, you know, the living environment where you make more than you can to get welfare, but you don’t quite make enough to have a private plane. You know what, I. 

Yeah. Like, yeah, you’re right. 

That you know. 

Between you know, it’s like.

It’s like it’s a huge gap and because of my experiences in childhood, I know the importance of what. To have a pediatrician that knows your name, I feel like it’s so important for a pediatrician to know your name, and I find that the idea of welfare there’s, like, there’s, like, some shame and disgrace around that. And I want to eliminate poverty because there is enough for us to have everything that we need and want in our life. 

Based on a simple mindset I know it to be true, which is why Mommy, Mommy2Be & Me, whatever services that we offer and provide for the parent and the child. If they can’t afford it, that’s OK because with our strategic partnerships, we have an API built in where we’ll be able to cover those, those funds that they need and it’s and it’s not just medical appointment, it’s like things that really matter like we know we know that when we apply for that college, right. We know that we need to be well balanced, whether it’s dance, sport, or debate volume. To the things that make a well-balanced life, we don’t. It is not a balanced life to go to work and go home, go to work, go home, and be so exhausted that you don’t have any time with your kids, that you don’t have personal time so. 

Well, you don’t even have anything. 

You don’t have anything left? So, so the whole concept of Mommy, Mommy2Be & Me is for the child and the parent, whatever the parent looks like. So just providing a safe community for you to access the tools that you need to have a happy, well-balanced life with structure and routine. 

And I got to say some things here. Because you do a great job of explaining all of the stuff that you do in your why? But you don’t do a good job of taking breaths between sentences. So, I got to go back a little bit. Just about some of this stuff.

First of all. 

Very much applies to you for what you’re doing with Mommy, Mommy2Be & Me as a kid that. Live in a single-parent home or with relatives or in foster care. Myself, I’d understand what it means to be on welfare. Understand what it means to need support. I understand all that. 

There’s a section of motherhood that a lot of people aren’t familiar with. And that. A lot of wives in the military end up being married single parents because the husband is gone all the time. So, my kids really lived a huge chunk of time. Their mom was a single parent, even though we were married, even though we lived together. But when I was not there, I’m not there and really appreciate the resources that you have. 

Second off, I really appreciate your attitude towards your donor as you call him. How many times? How many people do we know? That they have an ex and all they do is talk **** about their ex. They poison their own self and their own life and their own kids against this person with almost every breath they take with every word they say for years. And really, it’s not hurting the ex at all, it’s hurting yourself and it’s hurting your kids.

Yeah, I call it. They’re holding themselves hostage. Here’s the thing. In life, things change. Ideas change. We change our minds about who we are or who we want to be and or who we want to be with. I feel like we shouldn’t hold people, hostage. As well as ourselves, we shouldn’t hold ourselves, hostage. We’re not intending to. This is my personal belief. I don’t believe that it is intended for one person to be with another human being forever. I just it it’s unnatural. I think it’s unnatural and so I feel like people hold themselves. Hostage to individuals with the words that you say. Right, because words carry weight. Oh, he said. Or she said they’re going to love me. They’re going to be here. 

Well, what about? I feel like we’re meeting the person we’re meeting. We’re meeting. I’m meeting the first traumatic experience that you’ve yet to heal from. That’s what I believe. That I’m meeting with whomever I meet. 

Like the first traumatic experience that you have yet to heal from it’s such a disgrace to us, to hold ourselves, hostage, over such darkness. If we truly believe that we are spiritual beings, that. We are emanations of God, and I and I and I, and I understand that I’ve met people in my life that they don’t believe in. God or a higher source. But there is a higher something because we know whether you believe it or not does mean whether it exists or not. It is what it is. 

And so. Just as much as things try to tear you down. If we could take that energy to use it as our platform to raise us up. I feel like we’d be better off serving humanity because it’s each of our duties to look into one another, to say, OK, you’re great. Let’s be great together. And but sometimes the brokenness and the expectation … We expect things of people that they did not, they did not validate.

Intend either. 

Yeah, they. Yeah, they didn’t intend. They didn’t agree. Hey, you can expect this from me. And so, when that happened and we held them hostage; we’re actually holding ourselves hostage because they’ve moved on and I, and I think it’s really unfortunate for the individuals that are involved in that. Because I feel like a steward to the royal one, it is my duty to provide her with the best environment for her to flourish, for her to do and be what she as a spiritual being has been called to do from here on this earth.

and you set the example for her is doing so.

I always say if you wonder how you walk into a room, watch your kids walk into a room.

she learned from You. 

Yes, yes.

They certainly do. They certainly do. I love talking about kids. We end up talking about kids or parenting like every or every other episode. I feel like they have such a huge impact on the world, the way that governments set aside money for them. You wouldn’t think that they have an impact on the world, but they do. 

Talking about, yeah, you go ahead and attach whatever meetings to that you think you think. That applies too. That we have these opportunities are photocopies of the couple that go around and they do things, and they learn about the life, and they have some kind. Focus on some kind of desire, some kind of drive to do something. 

And we have such a huge responsibility to make sure that we’re putting them in a position for them to live their best life, whatever that is. Might be that you need to go to all the fancy colleges and start a huge business and make less money. It may be that you are going to have an impact on a different level, whatever that looks like for my kids, I really feel like I did the right job. I didn’t hold them, hostage to eat every grain of rice on their plate, so my kids ate when they were hungry, and finished when they said they were full. And my kids are happy, healthy, and slim, which is wonderful, and they’re going to figure out what it is that their desire, their fate is for what they want to do, and I’m so happy that we’re creating these environments for our kids to actually do that. 

And you can see right now that Gen. Z is pushing back on the story that we were fed, that you got a good job, you worked for 30 years, you pay off your house and they’re showing us right now.

Yeah, that’s indentured servitude is what that is. 

It is, it really is. But they’re showing us right now that they heard what we said and they’re rejecting the model. I think millennials are getting a lot. Of the stick for this one living at home with Mom and Dad or whatever the thing is… and those complaints aren’t without merit. But they’re realizing the story that we were fed as grown people. It doesn’t work. It really doesn’t work. So, it’s great to have that opportunity. To have their kids grow and blossom into who they’re meant to be. 

Yeah, it’s our duty. And that’s right, my whole thing is like how do we… if our concern is our kids… How do we make sure that our children are put in the perfect situation? Create the situation. That’s why each child in this universe and this galaxy, each child is our duty because to see another person’s child like it’s our duty like I’m going to make sure the environment’s proper for my child and the byproduct of that properness. You’re going to be blessed too. There’s enough for all of us. For all of us to be blessed. 

I’m looking back through your bio, and it says you were an Intel analyst a lot of people outside the military don’t really understand what that is. I understand what it is and it’s just a way to really do research is what it really is. What did it mean to you to be an Intel analyst? 

Uh, well, it’s interesting because, you know, when our whenever, you know, I was deciding on this job, I thought it was, it would be really cool to be able to take a look into communities of, you know, wherever, wherever the community is, and be able to take a fine-tooth comb and see what was happening and why it was happening and who was connected to what was happening. 

You know, meat and potatoes for me are always like who is connected. Who’s pulling the strain? And for me, that’s a very important job to know who’s pulling the strings and why are the strings being pulled like, what is the purpose behind all of this? And so, you know, I just thought it’d be really cool to have a top-secret security clearance.

I thought it would be really cool to have a top-secret security clearance and to be able to, you know, look into the personal lives of people to find out what they’re doing and what’s behind it. And I got to 

The driving force

yeah,  the driving force and I got to the cool thing about that is, you know, I was able to send, you know, send some people downrange and let them know, you know, what was happening in the environments that they were going to and what to… Look out for, you know, not all environments are perceived as hostile environments. 

Yeah, yeah, it’s. I think it’s important to note that we’re not allowed to gather Intel on Americans like only doing this for the places that were deployed to. And in those situations, I really get the chance to look more closely at an Intel team. When I was in Bahrain and up until that point, I thought everyone was. Just like a spy, like you’re going around doing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Spy stuff and they got like drops and toes and all that stuff. 

Like a James Bond movie all day long. 

Yeah, without the short dresses. 

Everyone’s got, like, a gun strapped to their thigh or whatever on the inside. Yeah, all these things and to see the level of professionalism that our Intel community has and the diligence towards gathering the Intel needed to make those real-life or death situations, it was refreshing for me to see that even though it wasn’t like a cool spy movie that I thought it might be, it wasn’t at that. But they really took a lot of care. And diligence in their duties. And it’s really, really interesting to see how that all unfolds. 

Yeah, I think it’s very important that whatever we’re going to do for whatever reason, doing of doing it is to get all of the information. Actually, more than all of the information because it’s more than all of the information because just the information itself may not tell the picture may not tell the story, but we need to gather more like we need to be looking at… and that has that duty mindset, right? Having with the living, with the idea that it is our duty to provide a safe environment. 

So really going the extra effort to find out all of the information that we need to find out to tell a proper picture because you know, we’re reporting to commanders like this is what you can expect when you’re going out there. The information that we’re providing is going to save lives or it’s going to take lives away. 

So, if we look at one another as, hey, you are my brother and sister, I am here to make sure that you’re putting. Into an environment where you’re going to excel, and be safe. Then you know it. There’s a sense of duty in that. Do you know what I have? I’m carrying the torch. It is my responsibility to collect as much data as necessary and then give you what I believe. To give you what I believe is going to allow you to make the best decisions. 

Oh yeah, absolutely.

I feel like life prepared me for that. 

Right. Yeah, how? Would you say those skills that you learned in the army, especially in the Intel world, how those skills translated into the rest of your life? 

Being able to look at the look-be big-picture thinker; I feel like has helped me be a big-picture thinker taking. A look at more than what is in my current environment like, there is always an end right? To every action, there’s a reaction, there’s always an end goal, an end game. So having the ability to be a big-picture thinker and look at not just my environment, but 20 steps ahead. What is the outcome?

So that’s definitely prepared me even for What I’m doing now with regard to the royal one. And you know her future and her colleagues. I call her whenever I drop her off at School I was like, all right. Enjoy your colleagues because you know her classmates are her colleagues because this is theirs. Work right now. They’re learning to get along with one another. They’re learning. You know, they’re there. They’re our leaders, they’re our leaders of tomorrow. 

They really are, as we’re getting ready to wrap up here, I got a couple of questions for you. One would be what advice would you have for someone that may be struggling like a single parent and then where’s the one place you want people to connect with you? 

My advice to a single parent is to know that you’re not alone. There are 11.6 million single parents within the United States with you, so you’re not alone. And uh and for me, I feel like that’s a good place to be, knowing that we’re not alone because oftentimes when we are by ourselves, we think that we’re alone. 

So, whatever is happening, whatever you may be struggling with right now, just take a deep breath. And, just breathing for a good 10 seconds will help you to reset, and one of the things that I did earlier on was because as I was carrying my child, I got a traumatic brain injury. I had, you know, there was a box that fell on top of my head. And then so with physical activity being my baseline, I exercised every day until the Friday before I delivered her on Wednesday. 

But after I delivered her, the pediatrician said, you know, don’t work out for six weeks. I know. I always say you shouldn’t have any regrets, but I feel like that was my biggest regret. Because physical activity is my mental health, right? That’s how I stay on top of things, not working out, getting hit on top of the head, and having postpartum depression. Those were things where I felt like I was by myself, and I didn’t quite know “Now’s not a good time”. And so still having people need me and them telling me, oh, nothing’s wrong with you, or why can’t you do this for me and I’m like… Have you stopped to think like I’m doing this?

I have a child. And I’m not in the best shape of my life right now, even though I made a deal with the universe. Like, if I’m going to do this, I’m going to be in the best shape of my life right now. Right. And so just to breathe. Because of those moments when you feel like the world is caving in on you. I have a story. I’ll share it. 

It was Mother’s Day, and I was not feeling like myself the royal kept pulling at me, kept pulling at me and my PTSD. Was kicking up right? It was like every touch was like becoming more and more, and I tried to be very intentional when I’m with her to not give off any of that. Ah, I can’t take 5 and she just kept and so it was like Baby Momma’s Cup is empty right now. I don’t have anything to give you. Please stop. Please stop. Mommy’s cup. Is not full right now, babe. I normally give it to you from my saucer and my cup is empty. Like I’m having this conversation with her. She put her arms around me. And just laid on me. And I cried because I’m sensitive but being able to say that out loud and not have a reaction because I feel like, whatever energy we’re putting out into the universe, that’s what we’re putting on our kids. 

And so, I’m speaking to her like she’s a human because she is human, right? She’s a spirit having a human experience. I’m like Mommy doesn’t have what you need right now, could you just give me a minute?

And so, as a single parent? Wherever you are; Talk to your kids like they’re humans like they understand you. They feel you. They’re from you. Even the dads you know, they’re single dads. You know what? How did you get into the situation where you are a single parent right now? Talk to your kids. Just talk to them, not ask them. Talk to them because they understand and they’re they thrive. They are little versions of you, so talk to your child like you would like someone to talk to you. 

And where would you want people to connect with you? 

That’s a good question. 

One place, one place. 

Yeah, I know, I know. 

What’s the one place? 

Connect with me at my winner one on Instagram. MAIWINN. R the number one. That’s the best place to connect with me. 

Thank you so much for being our guest today. We enjoyed having you, we love connecting to people and really getting a chance to understand who they are and what drives them. So, I really appreciate that. Carol, do you? Have any final words?

No, it was such a pleasure having you in Masako. 

Pleasures are all mine. Thank you, guys, so much. 

Thank you.