Outlets of Understanding with Amy Anfinson, Positive Change Coach

Hello and welcome to today’s show, which I’m delighted to co-host with Carol. Hey Carol. 

Hello

And we’ve got our guest, Amy Antonson, who is an international positive change coach and executive success partner who uses her intuitive abilities and years of personal experience to help those she works with neutralized pain from the past. Gain a deeper understanding of their thoughts and emotions and increase their self-worth so they have the confidence to go after their wildest dreams. as long as they’re not too wild. Welcome, Amy. 

Thank you for having me.

Absolutely, Amy. 

We’re just getting to know each other a little bit before the show starts, and I was shocked to find out that you don’t know how old your stepkids are.

Well, you know, when they don’t live with you and are already out of the house, you kind of lose your age after about 20-something, don’t you? I think we all do that.

When you were describing it, Were there an 8-year-old and a 10-year-old in your house? You don’t know how old they are

Well, even my own kids. I forgot their ages, so it’s OK. I mean, I have to kind of process it in my head and go, “What year were they born?” Oh, my God, they’re really that old now?” When they don’t live, that is. With you, I mean, you don’t really. Think about it.

Yeah, yeah. 

Simply give the same card every year and mark the number of the next birthday, I don’t know. I don’t know.

Well, I think we’re so busy in our lives now, too. You know, little things like age don’t matter. I mean, if you love somebody and you contact them all the time, you know. I mean, I talk to my son probably two or three times a week, so it’s not like I’m thinking about his age. I’m thinking more about, you know, spending time with them.

Man, that’s a great way to deflect, you don’t know how old your kids are. I think what matters is that I love them, and that’s special. You’re probably not wrong, but this isn’t about you. This is about Amy, and I want to know what makes Amy a Titan.

I believe I can listen and trust and act on my inner guidance, beyond other people’s opinions.

Act outside of other people’s opinions. I don’t know who’s listening right now and needs to know that most of the opinions in their life are not opinions about you, but opinions about the other person telling you what they really can’t do within their own lives.

That was deep.

Very true. 

That was deep, Travis. 

very true.

Who doesn’t like going deep with casual strangers immediately after meeting them?

I like it a lot, so let’s go there.

So, can you give us an example of how you do that? You deal with known clients, and you almost have to take the time to sort through their insecurities, issues, and roadblocks to pave the way for them to succeed. 

So, do you have an example? Do you have a client like that? You could share.

You know, I do have this gentleman with whom I work for his sister. She’s an entrepreneur who does well. One of the most generous, amazing souls and her brother went through a really hard time. He had been struggling with some alcoholism and hard things in life, trying to just deal with all the emotions. And she asked if I could help him, and I said, “Yeah.” So, she started paying for his services. But he was overcoming other people’s opinions because he was… well, he had to go to the hospital, and he came home, and he calls it You know, two days in jail after being diagnosed.  Most did not resonate.

But when we started working together, he had done extremely well previously and then lost everything. Going through bankruptcy, I mean, it was a lot, and he’s a great person. My role with him was to help him see himself for who he really is beyond what he just went through, you have to let go.

And he has a family of eight; it’s a religious family, so you know lots of people in your business and so we just worked on really helping him focus on himself and where he was going. I didn’t care about where he was. He went through. We never spoke about alcohol, and four months in, he told me that he had been sober for four months.

Oh wow. 

And now. We’re at two years later, he also got a new job and was number one in sales for six months straight. Another promotion is currently in the works. into the six figures. “You know, even though you’re going,” I told him again through bankruptcy. I mean, there’s so much criticism of oneself from others. And I said, “You know, you can.” You can feel good about yourself going through this bankruptcy. 

And he didn’t believe me in the beginning, but he has now, and he’s overcome. He’s making the payments. He’s got visions; he’s moving forward, and he said I have considered it in the past…. like, why am I even here, and such heavy thoughts. And he said I am 100% depression-free. And he is living this peaceful life that he’s never experienced before.

And you were the catalyst. For the first time in his life, somebody saw him; somebody heard him. And it’s really what we need as human beings. I mean, so many of us are trying to just, you know, fit in. And the problem is, what if we don’t fit it right? So where does make us… What prompted you to make that expression?

I don’t want to fit in. I want to be accepted into a group, but I also want to be celebrated for who I am as an individual. I’m not sure if that makes sense. It may or may not fit in, but I like it. I don’t know what your definition of “fitting in” is, but as soon as I heard it, I was. Like, “Oh yeah, that churns my stomach.”

Yeah, because think about it. When you’re in grade school, you know you’re taught to fit in. I mean, it’s kind of conditioned into us, so when we don’t fit in, we feel odd. But there is a beauty to being unique, and I think if you’re authentic, yeah, you may be a little bit of an oddball. If you can accept that; It’s so powerful.

I love being a goofy person. That’s one of the many benefits of being me: that I’m a goofball and I’m OK with it, and there are far too many times when people want me to be professional. What does that mean? Does that mean I have to walk around with my head stuck up, saying yes or no, sir? Being office polite. That just seems like I would be unmemorable.

It’s fascinating that you mentioned alcoholism. People don’t have it; they ask about the addiction, but they don’t ask about the pain that caused it. And whatever you choose to self-soothe with, as they discovered with Robert Downey Jr., he was doing all the crazy drugs in the 80s and 90s. And it turns out he was self-medicating, and I think almost any addiction is the result of some kind of self-medication. Whether it’s less publicly accepted like heroin or more publicly accepted, like eating or going to the gym, those are a little bit more publicly acceptable than doing hard drugs, but what are people not doing? Do they ask? They talk about the addiction, but they never talk about the pain that they’re trying to cover up.

Well, and I think that’s why he’s had such success—because we dealt with what was going on. He had a safe place to talk about the hardships, the challenges, and the noise in his head. You know when you have a place where someone’s listening without judgment. Continually seeing your brilliance and guiding you to where you want to go next, where do you want to go next? We can’t get there overnight, but we can do it one day at a time when you have the right people in your corner you can achieve anything. It’s all up to you. 

Just keep showing up for yourself and dealing with what’s going on in your head, because I think that’s the biggest thing, that we’re with ourselves 24/7 and we’re not taught how do we talk to ourselves. What do we say to ourselves when we’ve hit rock bottom with disappointments, heartaches, or grief? And, as you know, life will always bring us things. We’re not taught how to talk to ourselves, and we’re also not taught to understand our emotions. And when you can understand your emotion, you can then begin to ask, “Oh, what was I just thinking?” Because all of our emotions come from our thoughts and our perspective of ourselves and life.

None of that was taught in school or church. It was only when I hired my coach that I began to learn about emotions and our own needs. And how do we meet our own needs? And how do we not blame other people for how we feel? How do we take responsibility for our life?

Yes, it’s a long journey. Yeah, I know I heard somewhere that if you wanted to change your actions, you weren’t happy with them. You’ve got to change your thoughts. If you’re not happy with your thoughts, you’ve got to change your feelings. And if you’re not happy with your feelings, you’ve got to change your beliefs; because one goes into the other’s beliefs, feelings, thoughts, and actions. And it sounds like you’ve done a lot of work in this area. 

So, my question to you is: what do we need to understand about your earlier life to move forward? to understand who you are.

Well, in my earlier life—I’ll go way back in a brief little synopsis—I grew up in a very small town.

What does “very small” mean?

Like my graduating class, there were 32 people.

Oh, that’s huge.

Right? 

That was fifteen. Oh yeah. 

Oh well, you beat me.

That’s why I asked what “very small” meant.

It’s all relative. It is. 

But there wasn’t much to do there, so I lived on a ranch. And so, I rode horses and did some show business when I was younger, and then I got into sports, played basketball, played college basketball, and…

Oh, my goodness, how tall are you?

You, Amy, and, well, I’m not that tall. I’m 57; I was like a small forward. Everyone believes I Look taller; I think it’s my long legs or something, but I’m not as tall as people think I am.

It’s a good thing, yes.

So, you know how it fits in. When I was in a small town, that was hard because I felt like I stood out. My parents were bankers, so I was like the banker’s daughter. And there were just all kinds of people. You know, people are… kids… not nice all of a sudden, as you now know, there was a variety of them. Growing up was not the easiest in a small town. I’m just going to say that there was…

That doesn’t make for a good story, and it certainly doesn’t make for a good show, a clip that we’re going to show! What does it mean it wasn’t easy growing up in a small town? Were you getting in fists fights in the back alley behind the bank? What happened?

Oh goodness. 

What kind of judgments were they placed on you? What’s it like to be from a small town? Was it because you were the banker’s daughter and they thought you had a privileged life or something?

I do, or at least that was my perception, and so I felt like there was a lot of being made fun of and then also being a good basketball player. I was the first person on the freshman team to ever make it to the high school team. So, my freshman friends didn’t like me, and then my high school girls didn’t like a freshman on the high school team, so I had a feeling…

The odd man out

I wish I had known then how to care less about what other people thought and to be your true self. But you know it was where I was.

You know, age kind of helps us. when you’re young. You’re just trying to, you know, fit in and get along with everybody.

I don’t know if age helps. If you haven’t done the work to understand, like when I was hanging up lights with my son, “in my front yard the other night and the neighbor said, “You have sunglasses on even though it’s overcast,” “What’s up?” he asks” Hollywood got glasses on, on and stick like, “He made like two more comments about my glasses, and I’m like. And I’m really glad that his opinion does not affect me. 

I feel like I do. as if it were a five-year period. Old observation: you’re wearing sunglasses. Well, what do you do, man? Just congrats on your powers of observation, but you know, until I had done the work, you know, weird or odd comments like that would have taken root in my heart and hurt me. for a couple of days. So, I don’t think it’s age, but I think you have to make a concerted effort to do it. Burke and I have a great quote from a friend of ours: I can’t remember which friend it was, and I’m not sure I got the quote right, but he said, “Why the hell do you care what your neighbors think? They’ve not had an original thought their entire life?” His comment about my sunglasses He walked into his house, and I’m sure he immediately turned away, never thinking about it again. had no genuine I thought it had no real meaning behind it. Hold on to it if he’s not going to hold. When should I?

Well, you bring up a great point, because I feel like in my 15 years of coaching, it has always been about how quickly can you let go of something. How quickly can you let go of the burdens you carry or the thoughts you believe others have about you? How quickly can you let that go and move on? 

And it’s fascinating because we have minds that kind of takes holds of things. And it’s similar to forming new neural pathways that allow you to see yourself differently. You uniquely see the world, and you even know how to see other people uniquely. How quickly can you forgive and move on?

You know, that was one of the things that were helpful for me. I also grew up… Well, in my younger years, when my kids were younger, I got involved in the church, and I ended up creating a Sunday school class called “lives of purpose” because that’s what I wanted in my life at the time, and I had … I was in a marriage at the time, and I am no longer in it. I was married to someone else. It was like a roller coaster.

Like full-on highs and lows, and it just felt really hard, and then with two young kids and my son, he’s amazing in his talk about not caring what anyone thinks. And with his wonderful wit, he’s taught me a lot, but he was diagnosed with something on the spectrum that was almost like Asperger’s—just ever so slightly—but I was always wanting to help him, like, learn how to be social and learn how to interact and get along with people. There was just so much challenge that was going on in my previous marriage that I just found it to be really hard to make my marriage work, be a mother, and do other things in my career, so I started a Sunday school class because I thought parents with young children could benefit from some support. I know I did, and that led me on a path.

So, it was a young parent’s Sunday school class.

Yeah, yes, yeah. For couples, for couples

Gotcha. 

Oh, OK, OK.

Yes, a Sunday school class means you’re instructing 6-year-olds.

Oh, yes, and no.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was for couples. Young adults, and so I was led down that path, but I will say I had panic attacks. I had anxiety. I was on medication for depression, anxiety, and ADD at the time, and I was a bit of a mess. 

Even though he was wanting to find inner peace, that was my focus. I just want peace in my life, and by that point in our marriage, we had a very financially comfortable lifestyle. But I had chosen to leave my career, which was in banking and mortgage lending. I chose to stay at home, and I felt very trapped. I had no say in the finances; I didn’t feel like I had a say in much of anything. 

And so, I’d lost myself in that relationship, and teaching that Sunday school class is when I started feeling my worth again, and I started feeling like there was something beyond me that loves me and supports me. And I started listening to what I would call the inner guidance that I had tuned out for the sake of, you know, doing what my parents wanted to do. I got into baking because they did. And, you know.

We become people-pleasers, which is exhausting. But while I was teaching Sunday school, I was going through a divorce, and my son, who was about 9, said, “Mom, you’re teaching couples discussing their relationships while you’re going through a divorce. Why would they listen to you?” And I said “I hadn’t even considered it, honey. just what I’m supposed to do”. 

Yeah, it’s amazing how much your story aligns with so many other stories, especially being a young parent and a young married person. There’s just so much nonsense going on. 

You must take care of your job and all of the demands that come with it, which may include learning, earning certifications, and moving based on your job, as I did for 22 years in the Navy; like that’s part of it. 

Then you’ve got to somehow go home. Try to have a relationship, and if you had kids early in your relationship, you’d even know how to be one. You can’t be a parent in a relationship because you’re not healed as a person. You don’t know what the hell you’re doing, and everything is demanding everything from you, and then you left your job. You don’t feel like you have a voice, so don’t feel like you have anything to say. It doesn’t feel like you have…

And then, on top of all that, you don’t even know who the hell you are. Now I know. I know from talking to people that hundreds and hundreds of women are in the same spot as you, but I also know that there are so many men who feel the same way regardless of the actual income that’s coming in. 

They are trapped in the same way that they are. They don’t know who they are. They don’t know what the hell they’re doing. They don’t know whom to talk to, and we often talk to them. We closed down our circles and our friendships—our lifelong relationships—and we stopped talking to people. Is that how you felt at the time?

Well, fortunately, I started talking to people. 

I started a women’s group. I started the study school class, so I had people; if I hadn’t, I would hate to see where I would be at that point because it’s exactly what you said: it’s about reaching out and not trying to hold in and suppress all that you have going on. But you know, finding outlets for understanding—like, how can I help myself? 

It’s like we can feel sorry for ourselves and shrink, or we can ask for help and expand. And I think learning to ask for help is super important, and I had such strong emotions that I felt things on such a deep level. I just wanted other people to know that they’re not alone in going through what they’re going through, and so that was therapeutic for me to be able to do that. Not necessarily, but a lot of people do become very isolated. And they don’t ask for help, and don’t know where to go to even ask for help. So, I think

Well, that’s where stories like yours will help other women, as I know for myself. I went through those same things. And you have these. Inner thoughts like this one kept coming to me all the time. This is not the only reason you were placed here. 

You have a journey; you have a path. You have a purpose. You’ve got to find it, and so many women get married, have children, and their husbands say, “Hey, I make enough for both of us.” So, I don’t want you to work, and so we give up our jobs. But then, similar to what you said, we don’t get to be part of the decision-making process, so we start to get lost.

Because we don’t have a job. skills anymore; we’re parents. We have a child, and I, too, have a child who was diagnosed with high-functioning Asperger’s. And that was so difficult, and it was so difficult on our marriage, and my girlfriend called my first marriage, my starter marriage, you figure **** out. And it was. It was hard. 

And it was so hard raising a child; that was a challenge, and you were, you know, first of all, raising a child is a challenge, period. But when you’re raising a child who has issues and trying to learn about them while also trying to help them, it’s easy to feel like you’re always behind the eight ball. 

Can you help your child and keep your marriage alive when you’re trying to struggle with both and you’ve never done it before and this is the first time you’re tackling everything? So, it’s hard, so kudos for bringing it up because I know it. It’s not a story that you know is unique in terms of the circumstances that you went through and the certain issues that you faced, but it helps women realize they’re not alone.

I need you to stop saying women because men feel the same way and do the same thing. They just don’t talk about it as much.

Yeah, but I’m seeing it from the aspect of what we get when we give up our jobs too. We lose ourselves.

Some men do this as well. Much less on the scale. Oh yeah, I know a lot of people in the military that are women in the military. They have a house spouse. They have a guy at home who doesn’t work. Now that it’s way more prevalent again, most guys don’t talk about it. That is why they attach shame to that discussion, so they don’t mention that.

Yeah, I’m glad you brought it up. This affects men as well because I have been on all sides. 

So, my husband has been assisting me in my business for several years and is growing. He’s been a coach, but my business really took off, and so he was helping me in my business. After he had finished, he worked a little bit in between as well. So, I have felt the pressure of providing for the family, and I was like, “Wow. “When I was that stay-at-home mom, it gave me perspective on appreciating the work that your spouse does to provide for the family, and there aren’t normally such appreciations that are expressed.

I’ve been on both sides, so I completely agree that it’s men and women, and I have many friends whose wives are breadwinners while their husbands stay at home. And so, it’s not gender; it’s the reality of how difficult being a parent is, making a marriage work, and learning to communicate. Learning to deal with yourself and all of your past triggers and being your most authentic self requires that you come from a place of compassion. And I’m going to say grace to you and your loved ones, including your kids.

Agreed. 

Yeah, it takes a lot of that. It’s so simple to show yourself grace and forgiveness. When animals do something, it happens to them, and they remember the memory like they remember the lesson. But, like, there’s no guilt or shame, or they don’t relive it.

People when we mess up, we relive that stuff over and over and over and over. I’m getting tired of seeing myself in my memories and being like “****,” can I get something else going on right now? Is this what we’re doing again today? Oh, my goodness!

Well, slap yourself as a reminder, like, “Hey, that hurts.”

What are you?

I don’t want to do that again.

I can’t do it on camera; I don’t have one. I can’t provide any evidence. 

Amy, I want to know something about you that most people don’t know about.

Oh goodness, I have never liked that question. That is something you can learn about me, as I have stated. I never liked that question.

Is that because you’re boring and private?

Maybe it is.

I don’t know. I don’t know. Have you been to any strange places and never told anyone? Did you do something in your 20s? Did you have your rum spring and go crazy? I don’t know if you go skydiving in the Maldives. I couldn’t tell you.

So, something very cool happened to us. We went on a cruise.

Which Cruises, Alaska Cruise? Norwegian Cruise Caribbean Cruise World Cruise

We went to the Panama Canal. It was Cruise.

Did you go through it? Did you go from, say, Miami to San Francisco and have to go through the Panama Canal?

I’m not sure. I simply showed up—I simply showed up and rode the ship. This was years ago. This was years ago, but it was Abraham Hicks. I don’t know if you know who they are, but it was their first cruise that we went on.

We would visit each port. Do an excursion to the very last port that we were stopping at. I hadn’t scheduled an excursion, and I woke up at like 3 in the morning with the word. I need more exhilaration. I need more exhilaration. And I mean, the cruise has been amazing. I mean, we did things like ride horses in the ocean and swim with the dolphins, like it had been a fun cruise. But I woke up with exhilaration. I need more

So, during the cruise on the ship So Abraham Hicks they are similar. The most amazing, loving messages are spoken by infinite intelligence. And so, during the cruise, we would go and listen for three to four hours, and there were hot seats. So, you get into the hot seat, and you get to speak directly to them. Ask the question. And I wanted to talk to them. I didn’t have a clear question, but I wanted to talk to them.

And so when I woke up with the word “exhilaration.” My husband and I, John and I, never liked heights, so we avoided any excursions that included any kind of height. But I ran into someone at the library, and they were talking about their daughter going on a zip line and how amazing it was. And I was like, “Well, that would be exhilarating.” That is nothing that has ever crossed my mind.

So, then we went to the breakfast table, and I was looking through the excursions, and there was the word exhilaration. and it is next to a zip line. And I said to my husband, “I follow signs when I get three of them.” I like to take action. So, I was awakened. The person talked about zip lines, and here it is again. I think we need to go ziplining. I think this is me breaking through my fears. I’m going to open up. Let’s do this.

And bless his heart. He is the most cooperative human being. he always agrees with everything. My crazy ideas So we go to the front of the boat. We signed up, and we had two options. One was the adrenaline; it was across the Costa Rican rainforest way, way up, and then there was like a smaller zip line tour. I’m like. Let’s do the smaller; Allow me to simply begin small.

Yes, we’re not going full-fledged.

No, no, no. We had 20 minutes to get up to our room and out the door, so we grabbed our belongings and hopped on a bus. An hour into the drive, someone gets on the microphone. “Who is here for the small zip line tour? 

And John and I raise our hands to go on a small zip line tour. We thought everyone would, but no one else did. We got on the adrenaline. Yeah so. Everybody’s like. Yeah, just go. All rightt, let’s do this,” I said. “Go with the flow.” I thought, “Dang.” This is exhilarating. I’m going to do it

I was jittery, but there was more fear than excitement, which is always a good place to be. So, we went on these shorter tours, and we were literally above the tree lines, and then they vanished, and I looked down. I’m like. Oh my gosh, we are way up here, and it was so amazing, like, I was shaking like crazy, but it was just so exhilarating, and my husband’s knees were knocking, but bless his heart, He went through it as well and had a good time. 

And then we had to drive to the adrenaline, which wasn’t even there. We had to climb this huge platform, and when we get to the top, there is this toucan just squawking at us, which was amazing, and I literally could not see the landing strip because it was across the rainforest. So, we went on that, and I wore a small camera on my wrist, and I’m just having the best time ever. 

So yes, that had never even crossed my mind. I never wanted to. Never considered it. But you’ll know when you see the signs. So, we got the messages, and so we did that, but then the other part of that is the last day of the cruise. During the conference, someone mentions the zip line experience. 

And they were talking about how a tree had fallen on the line. And they were on the small one that I was supposed to be on.

No way 

And my heart sank, and I had so much compassion for this person. And at the same time, I wanted to feel good about my experience. And I had all kinds of mixed energy. But after she finished talking and said she was fine, she said a little tequila and ibuprofen, and that was it?

Isn’t that the cure for everything? Let’s be honest.

The teacher who was speaking was assisting her in seeing this. She survived, but she, you know, didn’t have any damage, and look how resilient her body is. She then added, “You know something about… Do you always clear the path for others because she has been talking to this little girl, trying to keep her from being afraid? And then she had that accident, so we were just, you know, trying to sort out why that happened in there. 

But when she got off, I raised my hand to talk about my zip-lining experience, and I will, of course. I dressed up like a Christmas tree and was called up on stage And I had a hard time talking about how amazing my experience was.

Is it because of her experience?

Yes, 

Guilt?

yes, yes. It took me years to figure out why that was such a special experience for me, and I couldn’t express how wonderful it was.

I don’t. I don’t feel that way. 

It could just be because I’m a jerk. I don’t know, but my wife and I ended up going on a cruise. We ended up in Belize, and my wife was super angry with me because of this. She’s like, “Why did you guys Sign up for this cruise. All these excursions without me?

And she said that because she was sober when she was recovering from surgery a couple of weeks prior, she was the one who decided, and she’s the one who entered it into the computer. But she didn’t remember, which I think is hilarious. 

“Babe,” and you’re the one who suggested it. You’re the one who put the credit card in. She’s like you guys in terms of planning. A cruise without me, baby You did it. You did all of it!

But we went. I went cave tubing, which is when you get on an inner tube and ride through The Cave; it’s pretty cool, and then you go swimming. And then there’s a zip line. I mean, it’s the only way down the mountain, and there are like 7 different ways. That’s all there is to it; it’s not very long. It’s not like going over the jungle canopy, but I scream like Tarzan. She’s behind me, and she is terrified; they wouldn’t let her, like, climb down and walk down. She is like, “Hands clenched, eyes closed, tears streaming, screaming the whole way.” I had to catch her at the bottom because she was just in a bowl the whole way. She was a huge trooper. 

But I like the signs that you talked about. We were in Hawaii. We went on a honeymoon at 15 years in because that’s when we could finally afford it. When we were in Hawaii, we planned snorkeling, hiking, and other activities all in one day. We wanted to go … Uh, was it swimming with the sharks in the shark cage? Right, we’re all excited, and that’s something that she wanted to do, and we got a call and they said that their motor was messed up, and there was going to be some kind of delay, and I don’t like delays, so I’m just like, “Well, it’s going to do something else,” and she’s like, “But I want it to be like that.” What if we’re done in 20 minutes? I was like, “You know what?” I don’t want to wait; I want to just go, and we found another waterfall we can hike to Oahu, and then that night on the news, there was a breaking news flash about a shark getting into one of the cages! And we were not there. We got it and skipped over it. 

Thank God

I’m not going to mess with this, and then we saw how the no-kidding short got into trouble that night.

Like God shackle and beat the living hell out of the guy. That was it. There, he survived. He didn’t get bitten or eaten. But like a big moving object, you’re going to get knocked around.

Well, you know when I said you’re talking about things like the fear that overwhelms you. If people can just realize that they can survive anything, the fear is what’s paralyzing us. We will survive if we can survive it and know we can survive it, not IF we can survive it, we WILL survive it. 

And if anything, we’ll gain valuable lessons from it, and that’s what so many people don’t realize. I mean, you’re going to face challenges, and if you look at it from a different point of view, then you Just go with the flow. What’s the lesson here? 

Right, if you look at it from that angle, there isn’t this. Oh my God, I can’t do it, you know? And then there’s the downward spiral that can happen when you’re so afraid that you can’t function. So embrace it and go, “What the hell, let’s do it.” You know, I know I’m going to. Survive, and yeah, there are going to be signed. If there are signs, like both of you guys had signs, then you listen to them and go okay. Well, we’re not doing that today, right?

I’ll tell you what happens if someone says something and I say, “Yeah, whatever,” and then they say it again and I say, “Yeah, whatever.” They’re like, “Oh, you.” You need a jacket tonight, I was like, “I have no idea who stinking Jack is tonight.” Then we’ll pass by and say, “Hey, you’re going to take a Jacket? You know what I’ll take it. 

I almost always end up using whatever the thing is, whether I know I need it or not. was almost always Like, I didn’t consider it; it’s not my thing, and yours is like that. Hey man, how about you just take it? Things like that, hey. Do the thing. You’re like, uh. Whatever you know, it’s fine. And then. Downpour cats and dogs are going crazy, and I guess I’ll put on this jacket that I took along for no reason. Jack and I go out in life. Does that happen to you, Carol? Do you get stuff like that?

No, not really. I just have feelings. You know, so like, I’ll feel like, “Oh, hey, and my mom was superstitious like crazy.” So, there are signs everywhere when it’s going to rain, and so it is part of my culture, so I listen to them, but she used to tell me all the time.

That’s how I’m laughing. There’s a Steve Carell quote from the office, and I don’t watch the office, but I saw this quote. He’s like, “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”

Oh my God. Is that why you’re laughing? Dude, you have this inner dialogue sometimes, and we’re just not on board, OK? I didn’t hear what

You heard you say, “I am superstitious and.” I was like, “Oh my.” God went down that rabbit hole. in my head.

Oh my God. Yeah, thanks anyway, Hon. 

Anyway, my mom’s thing was If we were birds on lines, it was going to rain. I know it’s so weird that it’s still out there, but every time I see it, I see things, and then, like, for instance, this was my mom’s thing. if we saw birds. On paper, it was going to rain. I know it’s so weird that it’s still out there, but every time I see it, Birds are online, so I’m like, “Oh, I’m going out tonight; I’m grabbing an umbrella.”

For example, we live not far from “Mount Trashmore.” It’s like the dump, and so there are birds online. Every day. I used to drive there, going to work and back. Like, that wouldn’t work for me because it would be raining every day.

Well, every day, yeah. but that’s a different instance. I mean, you have an area that they’re hanging around because there’s probably food there, right? So, it’s the same as in natural environments, right?

Oh, because power lines are in natural environments.

No, oh my God, dude, you are like, “I am going to ding you in the head in a second.

I’m just trying to understand exactly what you’re trying to say, Carol. That’s all I’m trying to do. To be more understanding.

Yeah, I guess so. Go with my feelings.

So much for Carol’s sake. She probably wouldn’t notice a bird. Unless it had some type of meaning, you wouldn’t even look. You wouldn’t even see it. There could be a ton of birds on the line but she wouldn’t have looked up because her guidance didn’t guide her to look.

Oh, now that’s interesting.

Good point. 

way more interesting than the stuff Carol was saying.

Dude, if I were sitting next to you,

There’s a reason we do this virtual folk. It’s mostly for my safety.

That’s the reason we do it virtually because I thought we’d be punching you all the time.

I still have bruises from the last time we were together. That’s not good. I’m not OK with that. No means no, Carol.

Oh, Lord, here we go.

This has devolved quickly, as you can tell, but that’s OK because that’s part of the show and it’s about living in the moment and being authentic. And sometimes I’m lovable jerk, and that’s just the way it is.

That will be your call sign.

We should look at the sign. A call sign for Amy? What do you think her call sign would be?

Ooh, Amy’s call sign. So, for those who are unaware, and I’m deflecting because I don’t have a call sign in mind, Carol’s pug, PUG, because she pees under giraffes regularly, not just once.

I do not. I peed under a giraffe once, and they called me  pug.

You only have to do it once. And what did he call you?

Only takes one time

Well, it takes one time to get a nickname, and then you get a call sign. My call sign in the Navy is Taco John.

Get the name.

What is Amy’s phone number? Jane of the Jungle On the zip line

I like it because it’s similar to the zip line. It shows her bravery.

Her bravery. 

Because she didn’t want to do it, but yet, even though it went from the small line to the big line, she still did it. And that takes bravery and courage.

And her husband doesn’t ask too many questions.

Yes, he likes all the shenanigans, but I get him into them, so he says. There is no dull moment with me. 

I’m a huge fan of shenanigans. 

So what do you guys do every week in Springfield, MO? that gets you excited? Like, does that light you up?

Oh, what excites me? I enjoy going out, and we have some friends; in fact, we went. This past weekend, we rented igloos from a rooftop where they were available.

Hang on, hold on. I’ve got to put a stop to you there, Igloos?

Yeah, like blocks of ice.

Oh no, they’re like a plastic dome igloo at this restaurant on the rooftop, and they have little heaters and a table in there for the winter. And you can rent them and just hang out in the igloos with your friends.

It’s similar to a cabana, but on a rooftop.

You’re a bubble boy on a rooftop?

Yeah, yeah, like a bubble boy, yes.

Jesus Travis. 

I try to make sure that I understand what’s going on. I use strange words here and there.

OK, but they have heaters in there? Are they trying to kill you while you’re inside the igloo?

You have to be able to get out in time.

We’re just. 

When it’s like an escape room,

There are little doors with zippers that you can’t escape from.

Carbon monoxide poisoning—we have no idea what that is.

I love it.

Yeah, it was dreary. It was a dreary Saturday, so we opted not to hang out in the igloo because we left. Decide better, and then we went to dinner, and then we went to a little brewery that had a little one-man band playing, and we played some type of game that they had out, so, you know. Nothing too crazy and wild, but..

Mostly spending time with your friends and relaxing. 

Yeah, yeah, I’ve got some good friends who are always bringing the energy, they’re both. They’re both great people, and we went to Sedona this year. We all went on a vacation for the first time together, and that was a lot of fun. 

That’s a spiritual place. 

It is extremely spiritual.

Is that place in Springfield? Hold on, hold on. Is that the vantage rooftop lounge and conservatory?

Yes, it is Travis.

He googled it; I was watching him.

Are you on your computer?

I’m on my computer, but I just wanted to confirm that that’s the place that I’m going to avoid if I go through Springfield, but I want to hear more about it, so don’t, because Sedona is on my list of places that I have yet to visit, even though I’ve been to all 50 states.

Oh, if you haven’t been there, I do recommend it. I will say there are a lot more people that know about it, so it’s a little busier than when I went a few times, but I had the most amazing experience like it just rocked my world the first time I went.

Define…

So, I went. I attended a retreat. And when I and my husband went, it was the first Christmas that my kids were with their dad and not with me. And so, he got me this retreat. I was going to go on my first voyage on my own because obviously, I don’t know. I don’t know geography very well; I just say who’s.

So, you’re somewhat challenged. 

Yes, yes, yes 

When it comes to getting places.

And I have always had a great guide, so I decided to go on a voyage on my own, and I flew into Phoenix and back in the day. There was like this GPS, and my husband said to make sure you remember to calibrate it, and I didn’t calibrate it, so it thought I was inside the mountain.

It was a four-hour drive versus a two-hour drive. I’m like, “Okay, drive.” How can I? Make this fun? I am going to make this fun, and I end up stopping at a national park and having a beautiful time, so, you know, you just make the best of your mistakes.

I love the way you said that you stopped at a national park instead of saying that you ran out of gas. A spin on that…

So, I went to the gas station and got a paper map because I didn’t trust my GPS after that. 

You’re kicking it old school now.

Very wise, very wise; I’m proud of you.

Yeah, but anyway, I did. I did make it to Sedona, and it was fantastic; I was alone, and I went to this retreat, and it was fantastic. It was called the Sedona method. It was all about releasing, and I just wasn’t feeling it. 

And when I woke up the next morning, I looked at the Red Rock Mountains, and they were Majestic, and I’m like, “I don’t want to be inside.” And so, after just one day of the retreat, I released the need to be there. 

And I just explored when I was in Sedona and had the most fun. I had a fantastic time, and I went to the grocery store and bought all of these. I brought back some pamphlets to my hotel room, and I simply felt which one was for me, and how did I go about scheduling an angel channeling with this person?

Oh, what is angel channeling, and is it on cable?

Not on cable. Well, I didn’t know at the time, but I was very much into angels back in the day. It felt like 2007 and 2008, and it was. It was this person who learned how to transcend their ego and tune into their soul. They just needed your birthdate, and they spoke. I know this might sound weird, but here we go.

That’s why we’re It wasn’t. We wouldn’t care about it.

I was boring; I guess maybe I am. Not, that’s. 

What exactly are we discussing? Now we’re getting to the nitty gritty.

So, she puts herself to the side and allows this “loving energy,” as it was named, to flow through her. one, and they’d come through, and they would read your soul. And it was—I have to back up just a little bit. I had such huge changes happening in my life while I was in Sedona that I called my husband. I said I Have changed. And you may want to get on a flight and come with me so we can be on the same page, so I had him fly to Sedona on New Year’s Day. And then on my birthday, which is January 2nd, I said, “Hey, you want to go do an angel channeling with me?” He’s like, OK, whatever that is.

I have a hard time, like, she’s like, “Babe, can you run the grocery store?” I’m like, “Hey, baby, can you fly across?” the country, so you can see the new me? 

He is, I assure you, the most

I’m going to send John a message right now and tell him how much I appreciate him

 and I’m also going to say that he’s been amazing for my kids. My son, like him, him were the reason we even got together, which is a whole other story. 

In any case, Sedona Angel is channeling, so he comes, and we both channel angels. The story of how my husband and I got together is an interesting one as well, and it came together very fast. I received three signs. And one of them was my son, who had a dream, so we banded together quickly and changed the world around us had a hard time accepting it. My pastor told me I was following Satan.

Oh, God. 

And I had to learn how to listen to my guidance. So, we came together. And then, within a few weeks, I was like, “I feel like I’ve known you my whole life.” I’ve never felt more comfortable. We finished each other’s sentences as if we’d known each other forever, and the angel told us that we’d been together for many, many lifetimes. And it is the first time I had even pondered or consented

OK, I’m going. I’ll stop you there because that’s part of my culture, and I strongly believe in reincarnation.

Me too. 

There are people out there that don’t believe in it, but when I met my boyfriend, talk about being very new in a relationship, and I said, “Sure.” I’ve known you for many lifetimes. And he thought…Thank God he didn’t run. I’m with him. Have the best relationship.

If he had run, then it wouldn’t have been true. You wouldn’t have known him for many lifetimes. because he wouldn’t have recognized you.

True, I don’t know if he recognized me, so to speak, but I think he understood because he didn’t believe in reincarnation before me. And we’ve talked a lot about it, but there is something about two souls that find each other again.

It’s so strong like the draw is so strong. He gets me. Because COVID kept us apart, it was the first time I saw him in a romantic light. And that’s when we kind of nurtured our relationship. But the first time I saw him, I had insomnia. I’ve always had insomnia. And in his arms, I slept all night. I slept for ten hours, and when you’re with the right person, that person becomes a place of safety. And it’s almost as if all your worries have vanished. and it’s the craziest feeling. But sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your story, but it’s super powerful because I get what you’re saying.

You were spot on about that. That was exactly how John and I met, which is interesting because we had known each other before, and I had no feelings for him and tried to fix him. I met up with one of my girlfriends, and she wasn’t interested. And I was thinking, “why isn’t she interested; he’s a nice guy,” so I didn’t leave my marriage until I got my signs and messages to do so. “Then I got signs and met him, and I also received this message from God that transformed my life. And it was about being blameless.

But from there, I started. I started getting even stronger messages, and then I was guided to be with him. Three signs. I’m not sure what this is. I got it. I got it. to follow it anyway. When we were in the angel channeling, she said, “We’ve been together many, many lifetimes, and I’ve never pondered it before,” and I was like, “Oh my gosh, everything makes sense,” because I had not…

I’m so crazy.

It’s as if your bell has been rung and you can see someone.

I love it.

For the soul of who they are. You see their essence. You don’t see their physicality. You see their essence, and you’re operating in a different realm. And so, when we went to see this angel, it solidified all of this craziness that we had gone through.

But are we crazy? This is crazy. Is that the definition of insane?

Are we the sane ones and everyone else is insane because they’re blind? So, you’ve got to ask the question, right? Because as you begin to lift the veils as you travel through your path and journey, you suddenly realize, “Damn, I’ve been blind all these years.”

Yes, yes, yeah, because you see things from a whole different perspective. That’s how it was.

OK, so that story could have been a crazy one, man.

So, when I

I don’t know. I’m kind of bored. 10 minutes later… look at all the crazy in my life.

It’s all a feeling.

It feels normal to me, so it doesn’t feel out of place.

But it’s not. about how you feel about it when you tell them. other people are. Amy, that’s like, holy ****. It’s not about how you feel about it, as I’ve done in the past. Crazy **** that I consider being everyday normal, as in, whenever I go somewhere, I want to go where the locals go. Eat with the locals and do something I’ve never done before; I’ve been placed and then went skydiving. I went to Key West and went snorkeling. I went to the pyramids for a wedding in Egypt and then went to the pyramids. People like how do you do this? “I don’t know,” I say because that’s how I operate and how they operate. They can’t because it’s insane and fanciful.

Mind-blown, yeah, yeah.

They don’t understand how we can just meet a guy and then get married in Alexandria, Egypt, on the Mediterranean in two weeks. I was like, “Yeah, isn’t that how?” Everyone else does it. He’s like you.

My friend, you Are hilarious. You should come to my wedding. OK, cool. Yeah, it’s in Alexandria. I was like an agent, and he was like, “Yes, wear something nice.”

Is this how everyone else does life?

Life is. Sure, right, so freaking jump on board and go for the freaking ride.

Yes, absolutely. So, thank you very much.

Sharing that story because that was awesome.

As we’re getting ready to wrap up here. Amy, please give us some advice for anyone in our audience who is struggling with who they are or what they are going through right now. What advice would you give that person?

So, as I always say, show yourself compassion and grace. Remember, it’s a temporary moment. and begin to do anything. That elevates your vibrational state, your mood, whatever that is; the willingness to do something for yourself to feel better is your journey to the opening and the receiving of what is in store for you, and so we have to learn how to get out of our own way. 

It’s an everyday thing that there’s no arrival, no destination, and no Oh, I’ve got it all figured out. It’s just about managing your energy and thoughts throughout the day, but also about entering a receptive state where you realize you’re not in this world alone. 

And if you can listen to what feels good, what feels aligned, and follow that path, it will be an adventurous, fun, and joyful experience. So that would be my advice.

And be fairly good advice. 

You know, Carol often gets frustrated with that. I become kind of a pain during some of these interviews, but I do it if I am. If I were any part of a washing machine, I would be the agitator because the clothes don’t get cleaned without it, right? We can’t get the guest to relax and then get the real stories unless there’s some kind of agitation, because, like when we first started this interview, you were very straight and stiff and straight-faced, and I was like, “Oh my God, is this going to work?” small, and then, with a little agitation, we get you to loosen up, relax, and tell some incredible stories, which we greatly appreciate.

Yeah, I could. I could read your mind. Well, I love that, and I love that you know that you are the agitator, and you are embracing that because that’s an important part of life. You know it’s like that. That step-one moment when you have the agitation and the contrast is an important piece, so it’s a lot of fun. 

A lot of fun talking to you.

Absolutely. If you could send people to one place to find you, where would you send them? You send them.

Go to my website, amyanfinson.com.

Fantastic! Amy, thanks again from Carol and myself for being our guests today.

Thank you for having me.