No Support for Woman Leaving the Military with Juanita Sepulveda

Well, welcome to the show. I’m Carol Carpenter, and I’m joined here with my co-host, the Fabulous Travis Johnson. And here we have today, as a special guest, Juanita Sepulveda. Hi, Juanita. So, Juanita is a first-generation U.S. Marine Corps veteran, an entrepreneur, and a mother of seven children. Holy crap!

She is the founder of JFZ International, working with small businesses to establish and support their growth, as well as the CEO and partner at Daniel. I mean, Daniel Investments. The process and training of stock options and trading, as they teach how to trade on the stock market, are so very interesting. Juanita believes in a lifelong learning process. With a Master of Science in education from Texas A&M and various other programs, you utilize your education as a resource in the areas of education and the military. and veteran advocacy, community outreach, and business development.

So that’s a freaking mouthful, Juanita.

It is. It is. But it’s true. It’s true. Those are my areas of interest.

Areas of interest

Interest is usually one thing, but not all of them.

Well, you know, I believe in challenging myself, so yeah, no, you had to pick a few.

I love it. I love it. Well, we’re going to ask you the question we always ask. Travis, would you like to ask it?

Oh, I would love to, and thank you for that lead-in. I appreciate it.

Juanita, what makes you a Titan?

You know, I had to ask someone that because, when I looked at it, I thought it was this, you know, a 3-armed creature that’s going to come in and attack, right? So, I had to ask someone, you know, what about the Titans?

Has anyone here ever referred to you as a Titan? He’s not me. They must be talking about you. And I thought, well, you know, I’ve heard it a few times, but you know. I think we talked about this before, that, you know, Titans aren’t either good or bad. They just are. And for me, you know, when I walk into something, I want to give it my all. I want to accomplish something. I see a mission and a vision, and I go for it. You know, it’s a no-holds-barred event. It’s going to get accomplished, and they tell me it’s like brute force. I go in, I knock everyone down, and I’m thinking I’m not knocking anyone out. And if I do, I pick. You know, I spoke to my son, and he said, “Mom,” he said, “yeah, I can see you.” And I said, “Really? He says, “let’s be honest,” he says “you’re a little scary. You’re my mom”, he says, “but you’re scary and intimidating.”

 I’m thinking, I don’t think Titans are intimidating. I think they’re just really strong. They know what they’re going after, and they know how to accomplish it.  And he says, “No, mom when you come in. Then we can feel it when you come in. Because you come in with all this swag”, he says, “and you know your stuff, and you don’t stand by, you know, letting people correct you. And you are the subject matter expert. ” You stand firm on that. ” But there’s something else,” he says.”Mom, you never forget to reach back and pull someone back with you,” he says. “That’s a Titan, and I think that’s really how I view myself as a Titan. 

I push forward, I get the mission accomplished. I see something that needs to be fixed or something that needs to be achieved. But I don’t forget to reach back and bring someone along with me because I have explored, and the real knowledge should be passed on and improved.

Yeah, that’s exactly why we feel the same way. We got to interview Reggie Walker, and we told him that we had you coming on next.

Yeah, way to a better society.

He’s like, “Oh.” Oh, let me tell you something about wine, too. She’s the most resilient person I’ve ever met in my life. He’s the definition of no excuses. So, you’ve got the endorsement from Reggie Walker, or be the ****** that you are.

And then he also said, “You’re a ******* hitter. 

I meant to give him a call, but the first time we spoke, I’m going to say, first of all, thank you, Reggie. That’s a great compliment coming from you, but the first time I spoke to him, we spoke for about 4-5 hours.

And we just hit it off. I’m excited by the things that he’s doing, and it’s just nice to have a soundboard. You know, it’s one of those feelings where you run a parallel line with someone but you’ve never met them yet, and then all of a sudden you have this encounter and it’s like major energy and they’re like super excited. He’s amazing. I think the same thing about him.

Well, he says the same thing about you, and he mentioned something that freaking blew my mind, and he mentioned it after. Right, so Travis and I are writing this *** down because we wanted to make sure to say it to you on air.

Taking notes.

Yeah, we weren’t taking this as he was talking, and he said, “You were homeless several times, and the fact that you got out of it and became the person you are is why he really connects with you and loves you so much.

Yeah, yeah, we were homeless in 2011. We got the call right after Christmas, on December 25th. I didn’t tell my kids until later. But yeah, we got a call, and the gentleman was nice. I think he was a veteran. He was telling me he was just giving the disclaimer and everything and then paused and said, “Get out, don’t give them any money.”

He says they’re not going to help you sell what you can and get out. And how much can you sell?

You’ll pay for today now and at that time, I said thank you, I’ll call back. And how often do people take those kinds of words of advice and do something with them? I did exactly what he said. I sold everything I could. I paid off all my utilities. I got everything in order. And it was after 2008, with the crash of the stock market, that we took a downfall. We did as well. And we lost our house when it got foreclosed. And at that time, there were six of us at the house. And I have a photo of our last. And you know, I always had meetings with the kids, and I sat them at the table and said, OK guys, real talk. You know, we’re capable of fighting.

We can either keep the house or we can let it go because it’s just an inanimate object. Right, but we had been in that house for over 5 years. I had it built, custom-made. It had four bedrooms. You know, the kids all had their beds, they had this big backyard and everything, but you can’t predict those moments in life when you’re going to get thrown this curveball that you’re not going to be prepared for. And the kids all looked at me and said, “Mom, we trust you will do whatever we have to”. 

So, we sold everything. We let them take the house. We put the most valuable things that we felt were important into storage, and we were homeless for six months. We had a GMC Safari that was working OK, and then all of a sudden, the AC went out, and then the thermostat went out, and it was like, OK, just keep throwing it at us. It’s throwing it at us, but it’s not.

It’s like the universe was like, right horrible sense of humor, like, hey, you know what, you’re having a tough time. You’re down, aren’t you? You know, literally down for the count, and let me just keep beating on you in the gut, see how much more you can take it. It’s like it’s such a morbid way of looking at it. In a way, it makes you stronger because if you hadn’t experienced it, you wouldn’t know how strong and resilient you are.

Well, I think the first fork in the road is not Robert Frost’s home. You know the fork in the road, right? The road is less traveled. The first time that we experienced it was in 2002 when we started having issues with art with their dad, right? And it finally hit us in 2005.

We couldn’t take it anymore. It was an abusive relationship. Then we left. In 2006, I swallowed my pride and went to ask him for help. And his statement was, “I paid child support; figure it out. 

How many kids did you have at that time?

At that time, we had five, and I had gotten out of the marine core. I got the Marine core, and I didn’t want to get out. Uh, I knew I wanted to retire. But the reality is that I was a better student. I excelled in everything. I ate board and was the logistics chief for 53 Squadron, so, if that should tell you anything, Travis knows what that means.

I know what that means, but I don’t know if our listeners even know what a 53 is.

ACH53 is a helicopter that they were using. I was at a training unit for pilots for the H50 threes in the Marine Corp. And across the hangar where the B22s are, which is the Osprey, they did train for an officer course. You also had a flight line, which is the mechanics and things like that. So, I would be able to go down and either, you know, do the Flightline, learn about the antics, and things like that. So, I would be able to go down and either, you know, do the Flightline, learn about the helicopters, or I’d be up top learning with the officers, and I would play us while we talked, and I quizzed them and we went over things.

But I did everything from training to ceremonies. We did a hop from my last hurrah to the key. And so basically, what I did was a lot of coordination and scheduling. I would move a whole unit, you know, a training helicopter, security, safety equipment, fuel, and everything else, including, you know, food and things. Those were my last two routes, but I was in E4, which meant

I was a corporal, and normally that bullet goes to a staff sergeant or a gunny. So, it was a much higher-ranked position, but I was good at what I did. Was it?

You know, you said something in there that when you’re talking about your story and Carol brings it up, it just keeps happening.

But I mean

What I’ve noticed is that when it feels like the walls are crumbling down, they’re going to keep crumbling until you stand up and say “that’s in it, that’s it. I’ve had enough. No more. And you have that if you say I’m done with all your ****.

Right.

Is that how you feel?

You know, I’m going to tell you the one thing that I did hold onto is that I knew that my walk was not alone.

Right.

And what I mean by that is… Do you know when we say we walk by faith, right, not by sight? I’m not going to tell you. There were days that I literally drove 3 to 5 miles out into the woods and screamed my head off because that was my only coping mechanism, and I didn’t want my kids to see me cry. I didn’t want them to see me lose it. You know, I was their foundation, and at that time, there weren’t any programs that supported women veterans.

As they transitioned out of the military, you know, and so once I finally said **** this ****, I’m not putting up with it anymore.

I got my kids. I’m not going to deal with this. I was a really good student. I’m going to go back to school, called a realtor, and sold the house, so one of the vehicles shut everything down. They sold my house in 24 hours for exactly what I asked for.

Oh, wow.

I don’t seriously talk about lining everything up the way it was supposed to. When I said enough is enough, I’m done with this ****, I put it on the market for 24 hours. It’s sold. We got everything in order, packed up our vehicle, and within 48 hours we were on the road. And everything just fell into place the way it was supposed to, or at least the way my mother wanted it to.

But the reality was that every decision I made was a conversation with God. And, you know, you read things and you experience things, and then you merge them. People give you advice.

Advice is like Swiss cheese. It’s got holes in it, right? And you kind of fill it in with whatever it is that fits. You don’t throw everything away. Because it’s going to apply to you at one point or another, good or bad. So basically, it was like, “Well, look this ****, I’m a marine. I’m not failing. Billing is just not an option. I’ve got kids watching me. You know, I know my Homer record. I know I’m going back to Texas and figuring it out there. And that’s what we did. We went back to Texas.

And it was just that I didn’t look back. I knew that wasn’t the direction I was going, you know?

So, you said you were homeless for, like, six months. How did you take that? What, then, caused the six-month delay before, you know, the next thing that happened was to reassess. Was this time to build a plan or what? What? What was going through your mind during those six months?

This is kind of the next chapter.

OK, so really, honestly, we were just hoping that social services didn’t find out and take my kids. That was the fear that we lived under. That was the umbrella that, you know, we were constantly hiding under. Is that, you know, why we were homeless? We didn’t have a home; we didn’t have an address; and, of course, the ex-husband had all these colorful words for me because I wasn’t bailing.

He was upset that I got into custody and the last thing he told me to my face was to go ahead and take him. I’m going to get him back anyway. It’s not like you can survive without me. So, there’s that little bit of an operator.

Juanita, I believe I went to the tenth, eleventh, or twelfth marriage counselor after my divorce from my now ex-husband. And when you try that hard, and I mean you’re trying because you want to make the marriage work, right? But in the counseling session, he said, “This was the day that I made up my mind.” The counselor said, “And hey, to my ex-husband, you do know what you’re losing, right? You’re losing a wife; you’re losing the home. “

As you build it, the kids are going to end up living in separate homes, you know, like a week on, week off kind of thing. Do you understand what you’re doing? loss in this process, right? He said, “Well, I don’t know why you think I’m worried. She can’t do anything without me. ” And I just remember sitting there because I was in complete disbelief that the person that I loved would leave.

All these years, he dismissed me like I was nothing that he honestly believed, to say it out loud, and I picked up my things. I took my coffee, and I walked out of there. I never looked back. I filed for a divorce. And that is heartbreaking when somebody says, “That’s my gift to you.”

It’s very painful.

It feels like you wasted all that time, right? And a lot of people say that, and to an extent, it was, but I always believe it’s neither good nor bad, right? You know, it’s taken a long time to get to that point. The other thing too is that I forgave him, and I called him and said, “Hey, I love you and I forgive you.” It made it worse. I was saying, “Are you serious?” You know, I would have thought this would have been a good thing. I mean, I’m not mad. You know you know.

You know, I accepted that you were an ******* to me. “You know, I accept that,” I said, but I also warned him, “You know, things will not go well for you until you do the right thing by me and the Detroit show.” You know, I said it, and now it’s happening. You know, it continues. Because you have to want to grow. You have to, first of all, forgive yourself because I realized, you know, it wasn’t his fault. It was my fault. It was, and by that, I don’t mean that it was my fault that we divorced, but rather that I have. I take 100% responsibility for my actions. You know, I can’t control him, I can’t get him to respect me or anything of that nature, but I take 100% responsibility for my behavior, right?

And for me to grow, it took a long time for me to be able to say, “I forgive you,” and even more importantly, I forgive myself.

Right.

And I believe you are aware that whenever there is an issue in a relationship or when there is a relationship, it’s not dependent on one person. I mean, you both contributed to the situation that you’re in, so if you can each own your portion of it and move forward, that’s the most important thing because you can’t grow if you don’t accept those things about yourself and just go. All I can do is learn from this and become a better person.

And if I can accept this, you know I have something to work with. Because if you always think that you’re right, then what do you have to work on?

Well, Travis, thank goodness for his recording because I’m going to say it. You know, I even told him I know I’m not always right. And you would look at me like, “Did those words come out of your mouth? 

And I’m going to guess those words came out of my mouth but going back to, you know, the six months of being homeless. You know, we’ve floated for a little bit, and we had a friend and an army friend that let us stay there with him. But, you know, he was very kind, and he did help. But there were six kids and a dog, right?

Yeah, that’s a lot.

It’s a lot, so.

You had me until the dog came out. The dog is perfectly OK, and the dog is too much.

Well, and again, you know, not everyone is a dog lover and not everyone wants all these kids, right? And the reality? You know, he needed his place back. The Lord intervened again and remember! My 7-year-old Ethan’s fear of the social, which is that he’s not one of these dashing, handsome young men,

He was seven, and our friend was the social worker at the school. He walked up to him and said, “Ethan, sweetheart, how are you today?” And he goes, “Please, please don’t make me move schools, please don’t make me leave,” and he starts crying, crying, crying, crying.

And so she goes, “Ethan, it’s OK. I’m not going to make you leave. I’m going back to the class.

So, she thinks about it, calls me, and says, “Juanita, I said yes.” Lori asks, “How are you?” Isn’t that good? Will you be honest if I ask you a question? I said absolutely. She goes, “Are you homeless?

I said yes. She said, “Why didn’t you ask for help? I said I’m a marine, and marines don’t fail. She goes, OK, so if I ask you, will you let me help you? What are you going to say? You may help me. “

And so, she made some calls that same day and got an appointment with Sam’s Ministry, which was a set-aside program. There wasn’t one, OK? There were no appointments. They made one for 8:30 in the morning. And so I had this. I had this huge binder that I put on there, laughing. everything, including a birth certificate and immunization records.

You are familiar with your bank statements, birth certificates, and Social Security cards. You need everything you could need. You know, loans, bank deposits, whatever it is, right? My firstborns, too. You know, just kidding. But we had this huge binder, right? And I showed up with it, and I’m pushing Ruthie.

I’m walking in and putting them in order, and I’m sitting in one city filling out paperwork with the case manager. Well, that’s never happened. I said it’s never happened, and he said I’ve never qualified anybody on the first sitting.

I said, “Oh, that’s because I’m a marine core.” I said, “See here, and I qualified for it. I got a voucher. And we were really happy, and a voucher is basically, I told the person that I qualified for rental, and they were even going to pay the deposit. But the real obstacle starts with finding a house that’s able to house all these kids and meet, right? “

This is where the issue begins because a lot of these programs eliminate us, right? They eliminate us because of either the sex of the kids or the number of kids, or they only serve women, or they only serve, you know, women with one or two children, or women that have girls, or whatever the case may be right. So, I went on the search and, fortunately, I was aggressive; within a week, we found a

So, we went and looked at it. Is the grass still like new yet? Ah, I thought I was going to lose one of my kids in there, right? When you walked into the house, the stench was so nauseating that it probably burned all of my nasal hair and my eyelashes as you walked in. You know, because just the smell alone makes

I looked in the oven and there were so many roaches, layers of roaches in the building. Did you not? There were holes in the walls. There was a footprint on the front door. The electricity wasn’t working, so they had pulled all the wiring. So, the kids all ran in, and I walked in. I’m holding one. Olivia is holding Maggie. No, Hannah is holding Maggie. I’m holding Ruthie, and I’m looking at everybody, and everybody is kind of walking. I did not touch anything, but it had five bedrooms. It had five bedrooms, which met the requirements except for putting two of the little ones together and two of the girls together.

And you know, so and so and there. There was plenty of room to meet the state requirements, and so we all kind of looked at each other and the gentleman, and he said, “We’ll take it as nasty as it was.” It was the only thing that met the requirements. And the guy says, “ah, well, I won’t be ready for 30 days.” We all looked at each other and said, “Well, we’ll come and help you. We’ll cut the yard, we’ll do whatever you said, but we’ve got to be in here in 30 days, less than 30 days. “

I replied, “No, Sir,” I replied, “I’m a marine and I’m on set aside,” he said. Well, whoa, he says, “I don’t do those programs. I’m going to ****, I said. I just need you to be kind, I said. I’m asking you to please be kind. I need a little bit of your kindness. Can you prove you have an income? Can you prove you are a marine? Can you prove that you can? I have a bank account, I said. Sir, you want a year’s worth of statements? Do you want my tax returns? I told you I’d give you my firstborn child.

But she’s in North Carolina, so that’s out of the question. The guy kind of looks at me like, “Seriously, right? And so, I had to sell my family for him to take it. The last thing I told him was, “Sir, as I stated, I’m a marine, and if you’ll please be kind. I guarantee you, you will never have an issue with me. I say you’ll rarely have to come to the house. I rarely have any problems with my kids, I said. If it’s only because the toilet is stopped up, or there’s a leak in the roof, or whether it’s placed something.

I said about 9 out of 10 times I’ll end up doing it myself and I said I just need you to be kind.

He looked at me and said, “Can you send it to me right now?” I said because I had it. On my phone, I said. I said, “I can send it to you, but what’s the e-mail?” and so I started sending him stuff, and he said, “You’re not joking.” I said, “No, sir, I said I need this house and I need it in less than 30 days,” and so he agreed to it. We would drive by every couple of days to see the house. They had to get this long trailer because they were scraping everything out with shovels. It was that bad. But that’s all we could find in the district so that kids could go to the school that they wanted to go to.

Because there’s a program here called the McKinney Vento Act. And I support that because stability in schools is probably the only thing the kids will have when they’re in that situation. You know, when they asked me about housing, I said I wasn’t looking at the house.

I was looking at the home. They asked, “What’s the difference?” and said there was a difference. I said a house is an inanimate object, but a home is where you know our heart is, and I needed a home.

I needed my kids to know that there was going to be stability, that there was going to be supported, that everything was going to be OK, and that we could have a starting point again to start rebuilding.

Yeah, it’s so very powerful. I wanted to not discount all the stuff that you said because it’s just

A powerful story. You mentioned that you didn’t ask for help because your marines and the marines don’t fail. The failure is not asking. I can’t tell you how many times in my life, how many situations I’ve been in, that asking the question is the way out, saying enough, saying I need help, saying

It’s well. I should be able to do it on my own. It’s not about “should.” “Should” is a cuss word. We cuss on this show all the time. Sure, there’s a bigger customer than my opinion, and should hell damn put all that stuff together because should is what keeps people doing it. What do they need to do? You need it from the moment you ask for help, and I don’t; it’s not about blame, it’s not about anything else. Stuff, right? It’s not about that at all. because I’ve been the kid in the situation.

And when you described your homelessness, I realized that I’ve been homeless too.

Yeah, but isn’t it?

It’s private is crying.

I don’t want others to think you can’t do it, so you’ll always step up and say I’m going to do it. I’m going to do it, no matter what, and what is the truth? Sometimes you just do need that help because you can’t walk that walk.

When I got out, remember I told you there weren’t any programs for women to transition, so I ended up going to the civilian side, which is the education side, because that was the only thing I had to hold onto, so my life partner became my education. That was when I became my partner, and I would read and ask people to ask mission statements rather than right. Do you know something that could pinpoint some of the things that you’re doing? One of the things I remember is that the worst words to live by are could’ve, would’ve, and should’ve if only right. Could it be? Would it? Should it? If only

And so it starts.

I started going back to school when I realized that I had to go back to school. I’d gotten a job, you know, got a job, got everything in order. You know, life happens, you know, businesses shut down, you know, careers change, whatever, but I realized that I had to go back to school and instead of having a pity party. I ended up going back and getting the master’s, so at that time, their dad came back, and I found out, I guess about four years ago.

He came back and moved to San Antonio under the pretense that he wanted to be close to the kids, right? Yes, I had no idea. Pretense, yes, so I went back to school. I graduated in the spring.

Thank you. I graduated summa cum laude. I finished 3 degrees during that time. I finished two associate’s and a bachelor’s in that time, right? And he had gotten close to the kids, and I guess he thought that that was enough leverage for us to get back together and

Oh my God, he wanted to reconcile at that point?

Yeah, so I was a little surprised that I didn’t know this. I didn’t know this, and he wanted to come to my graduation. And I said, “I’m sorry, you can’t.” He said, “Why not? I said this graduation is for my family, and you’re not my family. “

Good for you. Good for you. Twist the knife while you get it in there.

Oh my God.

Why don’t you feel proud of yourself?

Right.

Good for you.

And so, you know, I

Enforcing boundaries

I went to my graduation because I’ve always believed that my kids need their father, right? They need him. They need that image. But you know, it also has to change, right? Because, depending on situation, everything depends on the situation. So, you know, I finished my bachelor’s. We went to IHOP because that’s a tradition for us to go to IHOP. That’s what the kids want to do. Anytime we do something special, we go to IHOP. I don’t know when it became a tradition, but that’s what we did. So, we go through the graduation, and he calls me in the middle of dinner, you know, and the kids and I are eating pancakes and bacon, and we’re, you know, doing all this stuff for, you know, celebration.

But to us, that’s fun, so he called me, and I stepped away. “I want the kids tomorrow,” he says, to which I respond, “Well, you don’t get the kids tomorrow.” Right. It’s my weekend. Well, I want him tomorrow. I said I’m sorry. Right. You’re not getting them. Isn’t it true that you’re not going to do anything with your bachelor’s degree?

I said OK, so I went back and got a double master.

I love that. He just tells you right up-front what kind of person he is. Yeah, I know people. If you’re listening to this right now and you’re hearing what she’s saying, those lines that he’s using can make you feel guilty. It can make a lot of people crumble and go back. He’s just telling you who he is. Go ahead and keep on walking, ladies.

Please, dear God.

And then the other thing too wasn’t so much that he said those words, it was that OK, so I said. It is a rule not to say things. To the kids, right? And unbecoming to me, I guess I had hoped that he wouldn’t defame me, right, to the kids, so I would tell the kid I would get on him if they disrespected him or spoke ill of him, right?

And I wouldn’t allow it, but then the kids started realizing that I was the only one doing it, and so I ended up going back to school. I went and got back and got my master’s. I have a master’s in science and a master’s in education, and I am getting ready to finish, you know, my Ph.D.

I’ve got a little bit more to do, and then during this whole process it was like, “Yeah, let me turn that knife a little bit more.” But the kids were just amazing during this whole process because I ended up getting the presidential ring right. Doctor Ferrier, who’s the president of A&M, actually awarded it to me, and I was laughing because

The kids went with me during the ceremony, and the provost Marshall was speaking to Christopher, who is my eldest, and he said, “Christopher, you must be proud of your mother.” And he goes, “Sir Doctor Snow. He says he has mixed feelings about that. And I’m listening to him, and he goes, “You do?

He says, “Well, yes.” He says, “Do not think about this. My mother is pregnant for 12 to 14 hours. She works 60 hours a week, has six kids, and graduated summa cum laude. He says I’m going to be going to college and graduating. I don’t have kids. I don’t have to work.

My mother flipped the bill for everything. I don’t have any excuses. Do I? And I went, “Holy ****, I didn’t realize that, right? I mean, I knew my kids. “

How dare you set the bar so high, Juanita? What are you thinking?

Right. Yeah, it never occurred to me that that was not my intention. I intended to show that I could do anything despite what people were telling me. Everything is positive, right? It’s conceivable. There are so many possibilities. I was taken by the fact that that’s what my sense said. And I didn’t realize that that was one of the reasons he set a goal to be in the top 1%. When he graduated, you know, he chased it and he kept chasing it, and I didn’t realize that was his motivating factor, right? Well, I got a call one day from his principal and he said, “Mr.” and I said yes, Mr. Black. He says, “I have your son here.”

I said, “Christopher is there.” She goes, “Yes, I need to. 

I need to speak to him, and I’m thinking, oh ****, everything is down the drain. You know what? It is looking good. I don’t think it does. This is like my model child, right? A student-athlete, you know, he’s gone to, did you know there’s a hurdler on varsity?

He’s this; he’s well mannered, community, volunteer, everything, right? So, I get on the phone and he’s crying. I’m going. Holy ****, something else happened. He knocked someone out. Now I’m going, “No, this can’t be it. My kid doesn’t do that.

So, you know, I’m thinking of all sorts of things in that split second. He says, “Mom, I did it.” I said, “What did you do to me, huh?” He says, “I did it. I’m graduating in the top 1% of my class. He chased it. “

But you set an example of the example you led as an example, and he knew that you did it with all these obstacles in your way. And so, for him, it was like, “Oh my God, my mother did it with six kids. My mother did it with, you know, an ex-husband. That wasn’t for them, right? “

I have 0 excuses for not at least aiming high, you know because the best thing he could do was to show the impact you made on his life.

But it gets even better, though, because, you know, Olivia graduated with national honors as President of Varsity all four years. I think she graduated in the top 7%. Hannah did the same thing. She was a national honor. All of them were national honors. You know, she graduated, and I think she taught 6%. They’ve all gone on to college, even right now, which is, you know, he was my baby boy. He’s at A&M now, and, you know, he says he’s going to be a doctor. I’m going. You go ahead. I’ll pay.

I’ll pay for it. I’ll figure it out. Yeah, you know, Ruthie, the same thing. They’re all, you know, gifted and talented. It’s the same thing with Maggie. very athletic. They all play instruments. They’re not the perfect kids, even though I praised them, but I stopped worrying about the fact that we were homeless. I stopped worrying about the fact that we didn’t have it, and I was grateful for what we had. I stopped focusing on everything we could have done and started focusing on what we were doing.

And what we were doing was removing all the nodes and everything you couldn’t see. You know, because you’re indigent or whatever the case may be, we removed them. And you know, I laugh about this because I remember sitting. I know some of you have done this, so I’m going to say it out loud. I remember sitting at a plasma center, donating plasma so I could afford a suit for my son. Because his dad wouldn’t buy him one, I donated plasma so I could afford a brand-new suit for my son. And I remember doing it repeatedly, even though I would get little jobs and I would get ahead.

And then we fall back, get ahead, and fall back again. I remember making all these odds.

We would mow yards together, all of us with trash bags and everything, just so we could afford shoes. We went to the pantries. food pantries. Oh my gosh, I think that was my favorite one. So, we went to this one food pantry, and everybody got their food, and they all got in the vehicle, and I looked at him. I said, “Get out. 

This is my mom. We got our food. I said yes, we did. But now you’re going to help carry all those bags for everybody else. You are not getting free food without earning it. “We are going to carry out everybody’s bags,” he says. Well, we don’t have to. They say you don’t have to, but I say you have. You’re going to earn this. We’re not getting it for free. So that’s what we would do if we had to go to food pantries: make the kids carry everybody else’s groceries, you know after we got ours.

I didn’t want them to take it for granted that it was going to cost you something.

And also, gratitude.

Right.

It’s their way of giving back. I love that. I loved that lesson. I mean, I think all too often now we live in a generation where, you know, they feel entitled. No, I deserve all this stuff, and no, I don’t have to help anybody else. I only have to help myself. And you’ve missed that connection. We’re human beings. You know, intrinsically, we have to connect.

You know, and that’s the reason why even with mothers and babies, that connection and that bond, and you know, why nature makes it so that the babies. They look more like the dads in the beginning, so they have that bond, right? Oh, yeah, I’m yours. So, you better love me, right? There’s a reason.

We have to give you something.

Right, right. We’ll break your bones every so often.

I feel like how we got there is because we threw you a bone.

I don’t know.

Yeah, but it was a little one. It was a little bit

Don’t know anything about your sex life? Second, I can’t comment on that.

Well, I do have seven children, so that should tell you something. With that,

I love it.

You know,

We’ve got Ira with eight kids. We’ve got 1/8. It was seven. Yeah,

Oh yeah, yeah, and I physically gave. Birth to all of them sure did.

Holy cow!

That’s why I’m so passionate about what I’m doing now. Mind you, I love the VA. I love our military, but programs are not set up to be favorable. They’re looking into it. They have made good progress, but they’re not keeping up with the growing numbers. I mean, there are currently over 55,000 homeless women veterans with children, and they only count them as single. They’re not even tracking, you know, their children.

It’s incredible. Well, at least they have somebody in their corner that’s going to fight like a ************

Yeah, I mean, I do, I advocate. I don’t think so. There’s one day that goes by without me speaking about, you know, homeless women veterans or homeless women. You know, to that point, there’s just a program here that I’ve been helping with. You know, we go out and get furniture, and we get it for free.

There’s another pantry where we’re able to go pick up groceries for veterans and men’s and women’s clothing. And I laughed because I told him. I said, “You know, I guess I have a tattoo on my arm.” They’ve got to pull it up or, you know, four, four-person space, right? “and just give it to me. I’ll take it.

Right.

And I’ve got a photo where I’m loading up a refrigerator on the back of my, you know, ridgeline and toting this refrigerator over to a veterans’ house or a veterans’ palace or we make several trips and I, you know, you’ve seen those photos with the mattress on top of the van, right?

And I feel like I’m at least going to put straps and bungees on, right? and hanging on to it for dear life. Yes, right. I’m hanging onto it. But, you know, sometimes that’s all you can do, I think. Some of my sisters in arms, you know, and I, I tell people, you know, you’ve got to be aware, you know, of these women. Not that. I’m not saying my brothers in arms aren’t either, but these women, you know.

They are not given enough credit. Some of them: Do purple hearts combat bees? I mean, Travis, you’ve met some of these women. talented officers, listed as senior enlisted. You’ve got some serious ****** privates and PFCs who are willing to lay down their lives, but the programs aren’t staying, you know, moving fast enough to meet their needs.

So again, I don’t feel like we’re entitled. We just need a hand up. You know, and that goes right back to what you said, Travis. Silence is not straight. I accept the help. Saying that you need help, that’s powerful. That’s true strength right there.

Well, what do I think? I love Travis, and most of all, he’s the first one to step up and talk about, you know, women and ***. You know, he even said in one podcast, “God, you guys are smart. 

than men, and he’s the first one to admit it, and he gets it. But you know, I think for some guys. Taking that little chip off takes a little while. I know a little bit about that, you know, and I think it takes a strong man to be able to say that. Something like that? I would say the majority of guys would consider that.

It’s not emasculating to say something like that.

I don’t. I don’t get it. I don’t get it.

I know.

It’s nothing to do with

I know you don’t.

It has nothing to do with them. Do you know what I mean? Like I don’t. I don’t know. I, I, I.

I killed myself. I have no idea how people can’t think that. Everyone on this earth is amazed. It doesn’t matter what sex you are; it doesn’t matter what you are. It appears that it makes no difference where you are. How, like, how do you not see the strength in the beauty in everybody? We were like racism. Like, what on Earth is that? How is that even a thing? Oh, sexism. I wonder, have you met women? They can be phenomenal. Like, how is it or have you seen what they’re able to do?

Like, what on Earth makes one group better than another? And how on Earth are most of the news dominated by this nonsense? I mean, seriously, have you met Juanita? Have you met Carol?

Yeah, I don’t get it. And I appreciate that. And that’s the other thing too, is edifying each other, because sometimes people forget to look at themselves right, and that’s one of the things I used to tell people. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. If you could see yourself through my eyes, you would see that I consider you powerful. Right? right? Right? Wise, amazing, talented, you know, a go-getter, successful, you know, loving and kind and yet empowering to others, right?

And what I mean when I say “skeleton life is like” are the peaks and valleys you experience not only physically and financially, but also emotionally. What you said was correct, Travis.

It doesn’t have anything to do with your race; it doesn’t have anything to do with your sexuality. It’s the person, the essence of the person. I think that so many people overlook it, and that’s one of the reasons I love my business partner. I love Roger Torres. He is. He’s one of those amazing people that if you give them the time to see who they are, they’re amazing.

I couldn’t think of a better business partner to have and a better best friend to have, and I tell people all the time he is my best.

Right.

He’s 71, and you know, we’ve been at this for four years. We’ve known each other a little bit over four years, but we’ve been at, you know, our company just pushing and pushing, creating, creating, and the movements that we’ve had that changed the total, you know, the evolution of our system have been phenomenal, but we compliment each other, and we constantly remind each other.

And I told him. I said, “Oh my gosh, you’re freaking brilliant. How the heck did I end up with you? ” And he said, “Well, that’s funny, because that’s how I think of you, and I’m going to be detailed. And he’s not linear. “

I’ll give you 20 minutes. Knock that off, yeah.

But I mean, I mean, he’s been my best friend, honestly, and I thought I was going to lose him. You know, a little bit over. A year ago, he had a heart attack. And yeah, it was really scary. I was ready to fly out there and he goes, “Don’t shoot, stay right where you are.” I’m fine and I’m going.

But you just had a heart attack. I’m fine. There are plenty of people here. You have things to do. I’m going, “OK, then it’s fine. I’m staying right here, but if you have another one, I’m going to be there. ” It’s fine if I have another one. You can predict that one. But we’re constantly looking at the future, not just for us but for the world we’re going to leave behind. because we know we’re not going to take it. I know I have an expiration date. But I am certainly going to try my damnedest to be able to touch as many lives as possible.

And hopefully, it will touch them in a way that they know. That there’s hope. There’s hope.

You want that to be your legacy.

You know, I do. I know I’m not going to take it with me. I mean, unless my, you know, my coffins are made out of, you know, $1000 bills, I mean, that’ll be something else, but just kidding. But the reality is that I don’t want to take it. I want to create as much as possible and create change. Money comes and goes, but change is impactful. I want to be able to leave a change where someone else can see themselves through my eyes and know that they matter, they have value, and they’re the agents of change that are going to do something for someone else. I want that domino effect that we start something good in something, but there can be those in between, but it doesn’t matter.

In the end, you’re going to know that someone was there for you and that you were valued. I mean, the rest of it is just filling, I mean, everything we’ve gone through. I have to constantly update my bio, and I was frantically trying to put it all together right and I’m going, “Oh, did I? 

Do that. Oh, I forgot I did that.

Oh my God, we just talked about that with Reggie. Isn’t that funny? Oh my gosh. It’s not amusing.

We just talked about that. You’re like, you’re reading the thing, you’re like, Is that me? Wow, I.

It sounds amazing. I had no idea.

Well, no. And then here’s the other thing too, which is, you know, I just got into George Bush’s leadership program for veterans. When you make certain programs, you know you get excited because you get into these programs, right? And I didn’t realize that I hadn’t updated my LinkedIn or my Facebook or any of that public, you know, sites. Right? As a result, I had to force-click the update. And then my friend called and said, “Oh you forgot this. I’m going on shift. Let me fix this again. ” They said, “Oh no, you forgot this too. And I’m going, “Damn it. And so, I had to go back to all of my other ones, and I’ve pulled up, you know, my old resume. ” So, I’m going, “Damn, when did I do that? Oh, and I did that to him! And so, it ended up being 3 pages, as I said. Well, I can’t. There’s something wrong with that. Let me chop it off here, and then I’ll get a call from Doctor Cooper, who’s over at the AANEM Foundation Board of Directors. And she goes, “Oh. We’re recommending you for the whole I’m going, what the heck is that? But you know, it’s supposed to be something, you know, innovative or legacy or something. And I’m thinking, “Can you send me your updated resume? I’m going on you for real. I said Thank God I just worked on this, but you’re putting these things together and you’re going, “I didn’t do that. No, really. I had to go back, I said. Yeah, that’s my picture. That’s how I did that. And the kids go, “Mom, how can you forget that? It’s easy because you’re not focusing on yourself, you’re focusing on that mission.

You focus on the people that you’re helping, and you keep reminding them of that. This isn’t it. They didn’t fail, they just found out it didn’t work. And I’m going through all these things and I’m being, you know, recognized, I’m being reminded, and I’m told to submit. And I’m doing this. Andi’s going to guess I have done a few. Things you know. because I honestly thought I was going to retire from the Marine Corps.

I was a pre-med student at A&M when I couldn’t afford medical school. Everybody gets excited, but nobody tells you how to pay for it. I found them on ring four. It became one of the loves of my life. You know, I had to choose between my family and the military. No brainer. I chose my family. I don’t regret it. I miss it, but I don’t regret it. I went on to get my degree. I mean, I have six freaking degrees.

I have certifications, I have the training, I have all sorts of stuff, right? You know, we have three companies; we do nonprofits. I have seven amazing kids. I’m healthy, right? I have so many wonderful acquaintances and good friends. They haven’t graduated to friends yet. But I have one best friend with whom I can share all my secrets, and I know that he loves me unconditionally.

No, not. That’s just absolutely wonderful if you’re out. If you are listening to this and you think one is doing a fantastic job, let her know. Find her on social media. Share this thing, say WOW, and tag her on it. You are not learning how amazing you are if you are struggling to fill out your resume. You’re not working on yourself as a person, and you’re not helping.

Other people, you’re missing out because if you’re working hard on yourself and you’re working hard and helping others. Just like Whiny, you’ll have endless things to write down on your resume.

One last thing that I never thought I would do, Travis. You know, I thought this was a joke when I got recommended to compete for Miss Veteran America. I thought, “Are you joking? I’m a Murray. I’m not going into this beauty pageant. ” And sorry, whoever hears me from Mr. in America, I’m only giving an example. It’s a competition. It’s a competition. I sat on that application for two months because I refused to do it. I didn’t want to do it. And they called me and said you didn’t. Well, because I thought it was a beauty contest, you know, yet to be all of this with a perfect figure and everything. And they said you didn’t read the mission. I said, “Nope, I didn’t. I’m not reading any beauty contest missions. “

They are probably all dolled up and everything, you know, really darn good. You need to go read the mission.

Well, Lord and behold, their mission is to support women, homeless women, veterans, and their children to eliminate homeless women, veterans, and their children. And I thought, well, don’t I feel stupid? And then, within 24 hours, I applied. So, the next thought was, “It’s not like I’m going to make it. 

In the morning, congratulations, you have been accepted into the 2022 Miss Veteran America, so I even had to have my kids read this. Is this a joke? He says no more. That’s legit. You made it. And so, the dirty, you know, and I’m thinking. Seriously, I am 53 years old. What the heck is it? Am I going to be doing this thing right? And so, I win. I’m thinking, “Oh no big deal, I’m going to get eliminated, you know? 

The first round

Oh my God, you are knocking yourself down before you even, you know, apply before you even get there.

It’s like, “What are you doing?

See? Because I’m thinking, OK, I’ve got to work on Daniel Investments’ options and trading because that’s more important. I’ve got to do this. And then at other sizes. Yeah, but you know, you’re supposed to.

You’re supposed to be assisting women and veterans because you understand how they feel. This is important, right? Right. So, I go through it and do Jennifer Lopez’s “I Ain’t Your Mama.” Do you know that part where she jumps in heels? And I’m thinking to myself, I’m gonna jump, I’m gonna wipe out, I’m out, right Hell no. I land that freaking landing and I keep on and they ask me. Questions and I are going OK, well, maybe. Yeah, do you like it? You know, and I’m looking at the video and the photos that they took of me and

I’m going, OK, I don’t do that. OK, you’re looking kind of good. OK, I can do that, and then all these ladies that were there were talking to each other, right? And as we’re having these conversations,

It comes out that we’re all walking the same parallel journey. Oh, look at it a lot. Yeah, a lot of the things that I experienced, of course, some of them were just homeless, some of them were assaulted. Some of them, you know, had drinking problems or drugs or, you know, different things, right? None of them, none of this group, had drugs, but they did drink and do other things, you know, different things.

And you’re going, you know, you’re having to do this self-evaluation. I’m going, huh? Am I being selfish? I didn’t think about this. I did not think about it and the more that

I got to know these ladies. The more conversations I had with them, the more I read, and the more I realized I had a lot in common with them. Not only am I stunning, but the fact that a lot of these women are ******. PHDs, attorneys, other entrepreneurs there, VSOs. There’s still active duty. I mean, a lot of amazing women.

And you find a tribe that you didn’t know about. You were missing. And it’s very fulfilling. I mean, I’ve contacted them. We even messaged right now; you know. Hey, what dress did you get? Well, I don’t know, as long as I ask. doesn’t hang out. I’m good now. You know, but

You know, we’ve been in each other’s acts. We go out and we perform in their things, and we give each other support and we talk about, “Yes, this looks good on, you know, don’t wear that, you know? 

I can’t wait to see who wins. The other thing is the reality is that I don’t care if I win. I don’t. I have found a group of women. They are not only intelligent. But they’re vulnerable, and they allowed themselves to be vulnerable enough to be friends. And that is powerful. That’s very powerful, and I love the mission. Even after all this is done, I’m still going to invest my time in them because the numbers are growing, and the systems are not keeping up with the demand.

We’re not tracking these women. We’re not making sure that their children are OK. You know, their children are being taken from them. They’re being incarcerated. There are no programs that are set up for them to be able to support them, and again, this is not a pity. We’re not asking for pity; we’re asking for a hand-up.

There’s a huge difference. There is a significant difference between all of these ladies. I haven’t come across one single woman that doesn’t show gratitude or appreciation. I haven’t had one single woman who does not say thank you. Thank you, sister. Thank you for remembering me. And thank you for coming back to me.

Because I will never forget that we left no man or woman behind.

They signed that blank cheque without hesitation. And I am grateful for that. But I’m not going to leave them. Even now, knowing that there’s a program that actually

It puts a roof over their heads and reminds them that they belong, they’re important, their children are important, and they have an important life. They’re not aware of it yet, but they are.

Yeah, well, I don’t think life is. It’s just a culmination of experiences and experiences that you share with others.

So, like I said, joking. You know, nonsense knowledge. Nonsense knowledge and it just comes all together. This perfect puzzle with all this stuff that you don’t even realize belongs together, and it does give you a perfect image of what’s for you. You know, and sometimes it changes. It changes. I mean, hey, how did you? I know it’s don’t bump into Travis again, but you know, I’m just saying.

He sort of, sort of likes to invade everybody’s personal space, so eventually, you’re going to bump into him.

You’re like setting this up like I’m some kind of creep or something to watch out for. I’m just saying, track me down here.

I’m not saying that. Sorry.

You just invaded your personal space. He’s going to be there.

At least it’s not doing anything. Right now, he’s behind you. It’s not No, no, no, it’s well, we get it’s good.

We got to have dinner in San Antonio a couple of months ago. We can now catch up and see the other ****** lady. And it’s only ever been done once. I invited to like, like 10 people. And I had four amazing ladies show that all the guys bailed on me. All the guys canceled. And then we take the picture, and, like my wife’s best friend, what exactly is he doing in San? Antonio, right now, like, who were all these women?

I was like, “Well, the guy has bailed. It’s like, that’s their problem. I can’t help it if they don’t show up and she’s like

Oh, that’s just people he knows. It’s no big deal. We’re dependable. We’re dependable, you know, and we literally will change things around, you know, for you to be able to count on us, not my faults.

Just another reason that women are better right there.

Oh, nice. Sometimes things are beyond our control. But you know, when somebody invites you—you know, to just catch up, have a conversation. That doesn’t take a whole lot. That’s just a little bit of investment. A little bit of an investment because you don’t know the other thing is, too, if someone invites you out, think about where you are. Maybe you need it just as much as that other person who’s inviting you out. because I know I run 90 miles an hour and I sometimes forget to have fun. I have to be reminded.

Yeah, absolutely. Hey, one is, we’re wrapping it up here. Where can people connect with you and what advice would you have on this list?

And that’s maybe going through something right now. Well, Uhm, I’ve got my e-mail address that you know, you’re welcome to put out. My professional e-mail is jfsepulveda4@gmail.com

Or just give me. A call? You know, if I don’t answer, I will, you know, leave me a message. Please leave me a message at 210-569-4095. You can contact me. The other thing, too, is that you can never have enough soundboards. Honestly, what I mean by soundboards is

You know, everybody laughs because I asked, “Have you ever met a stranger? Well, probably not. That’s probably why I get in trouble so much, but the reality is it’s so difficult for you not to smile at someone when someone smiles back at you, right? ” Or when you hear a child, you know to laugh. You can’t help but feel joy. I believe that you need to bring joy to someone else.

You have to, even if you’re having one of those rough days, you’ve got to claim that it’s going to be a great day. You’ve got to claim it because sometimes that’s the only thing you can hang onto. A deal may fall through. You know, your dog might die. You know, the electricity gets turned off or you run out of gas, or the car, you know, breaks down or whatever.

The reality is that finding a kitchen cabinet — and what I mean by a kitchen cabinet is that you should always have, you know, an odd number sitting with you. Because there’s always going to be a type, right?

Find those people that you can sit within the kitchen. Have those crucial conversations, those authentic conversations, with those 3:00 AM friends that are going to be there for you. And I know you’ve got him. You’ve just forgotten to reach out to them, or something has happened that you’ve forgotten to reach out to. You know, step out of yourself, go past your pride, and call them. because they’re probably thinking of you too. And don’t hang on to things that have no value. That’s in the past. It has no worth.

Do you want to chat? I mean, David called me, you know, David Carter calls me, and he goes, “We spoke for like 4 hours. We talked about everything. Sometimes you just have to talk it out. It could be nonsense but talk it out. The reality is that you never stop learning. Pick up a book. Turn off that stinking *** tube.

Stop listening to all sorts of news. Take the time to read. Read The Alchemist. Read The Midnight Library. You know, crucial conversations. Read. You know, life’s golden ticket. Read. Read. Read

because your comprehension is so important. Growing your vocabulary is another because if you can’t comprehend, you’re going to miss something. And don’t be so concerned with, you know, coming up with a question. When you’re in the middle of a conversation, be an active listener. because you want the same thing. Be an active listener and be present. Don’t be on your stinking phones.

Don’t be on the computer. Be present because you’re going to miss it. You’re going to miss that moment that you can’t get back. I don’t want to miss him. That’s the reason I got out of the marine core. You know, I loved it. But my children’s first steps, all those are important. You’ve got to figure out what’s important to you, your priorities. It’s not time management that’s your priority. I will drop off Anything for my kids.

I have walked out of jobs. But the bottom line is read. Set your priorities. Manifest it and stick to your plan. Because you’re going to get interruptions, you’ve got to stick to it if you’re going to achieve it. You’ve got to be able to write it down, put pen to paper. Because if you don’t, you don’t speak about it into existence. You don’t write it into existence, you don’t read it into existence. It’s not going to happen. It cracks me up when people say, “Oh my gosh, you’re so lucky. 

You’re right. The harder I work, the luckier I get. I have a lot of reading to do. an average of between 15 and 12 to 15 books a year. And I read and I write, and I put things down that are important to me and I spend time. And I find out what my kids are doing daily. I’m present in my life. That’s all I got. That’s all you’ve got.

That’s it. Cut it. Cut tape. We’re done. Thank you so much, Juanita.

Sweetheart, not the mic.

Thank you so much. I’m trying to It’s like I’m stuck in this thing. Thank you so much for being our guest today. We appreciate her stopping by now so that Carol can speak for herself, so I’ll let her talk.

He usually dominates, so he’ll just take over the talking. I’m kidding. I’m kidding.

He’s like, he’s the best. I consider him to be one of my best counterparts. I love you anyway. I know. And he’s just trying to give me an ultra-intimidating and so OK.

Thank you so much for joining us here today as we continue to grow and get to know successful entrepreneurs and what makes them who they are and the adversities they’ve overcome. This allows us to reveal what truly motivates them. Thank you so much.